Red Window
by shannyfish
Summary: Sequel to "Suffering is the Best Punishment". With Lisbon gone, Jane leaves CBI to set out to find her and to kill Red John. He won't let Red John kill his family again.
1. Trying it Alone

**Title:** Red Window

**Author:** Shannon – shannyfish

**Disclaimer:** I do not own "The Mentalist" or its characters, Warner Brothers and Bruno Heller do. This is merely for entertainment purposes only.

**Rating:** R (to be safe)

**Summary:** Sequel to "Suffering is the Best Punishment". With Lisbon gone, Jane leaves CBI to set out to find her and to kill Red John. He won't let Red John kill his family again.

**Warning:** adult themes

**Chapter 1 – "Trying it Alone"**

**Author's Note: **Okay, so I'm still iffy about the PoV for this one. I may stick with Jane, but I'm sort of leaning towards switching PoV per chapter. So, we'll see…I shall continue to ponder!

Trailer for "Suffering is the Best Punishment"…not sure how I'd make one for this one, but I shall think on it!

http: / www. mega video. com/ ?v = Q581AW2H

(take out the spaces for )

...

"_He who seeks __vengeance__ must dig two graves: one for his enemy and one for himself."_

– _Chinese Proverb_

**Somewhere in California**

He had nothing to go on.

Absolutely nothing.

Jane had been so lost as to where to look. To look for a clue. To look for Lisbon. To look for Red John. He had nothing to go on. So he'd packed a bag, gotten into his car, picked a direction, and just drove.

In the past, Red John had gone to great lengths to keep him in the "game", Jane hoped that somehow he'd get some kind of communication.

…

**San Diego, CA**

Two days.

It had been two full days since Red John had taken Lisbon. Jane had stopped in San Diego, figuring that if he just kept driving it wouldn't be long until he was at the U.S./Mexico border. Red John had crossed country and state lines before, but Jane didn't think that given the circumstances that he needed to cross over into Mexico. He wouldn't mind the food, but in all honesty he wasn't hungry. Not since Red John took Lisbon.

He desperately wanted to scream out to the heavens and hope that Red John would scream out some response that would bubble up from below. He didn't. Jane just sat on the bench he'd found and stared out at the harbor.

Maybe the team had been right. Maybe he'd been stupid to leave. But how could he go in everyday and walk past her empty office? He could pretend like everything was okay…like nothing happened, but that would just be pretending. And besides, he didn't want to pretend nothing happened…that felt like that just erased her. He didn't want to erase Lisbon.

He loved her.

He'd chosen correctly, hadn't he?

What other choice did he have?

Jane couldn't bear to lose her…to watch her die. He let his head drop forward into his hands.

What was he going to do?

This was_ your_ choice; a voice in his head kindly reminded him. The reminder unleashed tears. He was sure that it was even more painful that _he _was the one responsible for Red John taking Lisbon. He'd been the one who befriended her, feel in love with her, stayed close to her, professed his love to her, and then had been the one that basically gave Red John permission to take her. He hadn't told the team any of this. Jane was too afraid that they'd blame him. Right now, he needed them. Later they could hate him all they wanted.

…

**Hotel**

Despair washed over him and depression was rapidly setting in. He'd been there well over a week and nothing. Nothing. No signs or notes or contact of any kind from Red John. The team hadn't called him with news or clues. He covered his face with one of the pillows and for a second wished he were dead.

The foreign sound of his cell phone sounded. Jane threw the pillow out of the way and quickly rolled and grabbed to reach for the phone, in the process almost falling off the hotel bed. He pressed 'send' and put it to his ear.

"Jane," he said. He suddenly realized that he hadn't glanced at the caller ID before answering.

"Mr. Jane," the woman's voice said. "My name is Madeline Hightower. I am the new agent in charge of the serious crimes unit and I want you back."

He blinked for a moment. "That was quick," he finally commented. "I thought Minelli would leave Cho in charge a bit longer."

"You misunderstand, Mr. Jane. I'm not replacing Teresa Lisbon, I'm replacing Virgil Minelli."

He was speechless. He hadn't expected Minelli to just decide to quit. It wasn't like they'd found Lisbon murdered by Red John. Jane had thought that he was a bit tougher than that.

"Are you still there, Mr. Jane?"

"Oh…yes, yes I'm here. Sorry…just a little surprised." He was quiet for another minute. "I'm not coming back, not until I find Lisbon."

"You're going to need something to go on," she said.

"You're right," he said. "But so far, Red John's gone quiet."

"No, he hasn't," Hightower said. "At least not exactly."

"What do you mean?"

"I have a postcard here for you," she said.

Jane shook his head. "Red John doesn't send postcards."

"I didn't say that's who sent it."

For a moment, he just processed what she'd said. The gears in his brain turned slowly as he tried to connect the pieces. "Lisbon," he whispered. Jane ended the call and bolted out of his bed. It was going to be a long drive back to Sacramento. He just needed to make sure that he avoided cops so that he could get to CBI Headquarters without being detained.

…

**CBI Headquarters**

Hightower had tried to have a conversation when he'd finally arrived, but Jane wouldn't have any of it. He wanted to see the postcard. He wanted to see the clue she'd lured him to back up north with.

The San Francisco postcard was secure in an evidence bag. Jane knew that with San Francisco being so huge with tourism that there were hundreds of places the postcard could have come from. He turned it, so that the picture of the Golden Gate Bridge was now against the table. It was addressed to him, care of CBI Headquarters, and the note was simple enough. 'I'm okay.' And it was signed 'Lisbon'. That was all that was written there. It looked like her writing.

San Francisco.

That was so close.

"Have you—" Jane started.

"We've run fingerprints, had the writing samples analyzed, and tracked down where it came from," Hightower told him. She crossed her arms over her chest. "Mr. Jane, I know your background with Red John. I've read the reports. I know you're passionate about this, but I am not giving you any information until I know whether or not you'll come back to the CBI."

Jane didn't think she really knew him. It was obvious that she hadn't read enough reports. He _needed _to know the information, so what else could he do? Of course, he wasn't sure if he'd like working with Minelli's replacement. She seemed hardened on the outside, but she also seemed to get her way…he really didn't see them having a good relationship. He needed to know though. This wasn't about him or Hightower. This was about Lisbon.

"Okay," he agreed. Jane thrust his hands into his pockets. He needed to watch his steps around Hightower until he figured her out.

"You'll come back?"

"I'm here," he pointed out. "I want to find Lisbon."

"There were three sets of prints on the postcard. One was Lisbon's and the other two worked at the gas station where it was purchased. They've already identified her. They say that she asked if they'd mail it while her husband was pumping gas."

Jane eyed her oddly. "No. Lisbon wouldn't cooperate."

She held up a hand. "I know. Everyone has said that and from what I've read I'd have to agree. The surveillance footage will be here tomorrow."

"And the writing?"

"Lisbon's," she filled in. "They said it doesn't look like she was under duress when she wrote it."

Jane was so confused. On one hand he was confused as hell but happy that Lisbon was alive, while on the other he wanted to distrust what he'd just been told.

"It's a clue at least," he said.

"It's all we've had since she went missing."

Guilt started to creep in. Jane tried to push it back. It was late. He needed to get home and get some sleep so that they could all start fresh in the morning. He'd even bring in donuts for the team; he hoped that perhaps that would cheer them up a bit. He'd even get the festive ones with sprinkles on them.

He looked up at Hightower. "You didn't take my couch, did you?" he asked quite seriously. "Because it's very important."

She smirked at him. "I believe 'your couch' is still where you left it."

"I hope so. It's hard to get it into just the right spot," Jane told her, still quite serious.

"I'm sure Cho or Rigsby would offer to help you adjust it if it's moved," Hightower said. "But for now, you should get some sleep, Mr. Jane."

"Yes," he agreed. "You're right, of course." He turned and took a few steps before her voice stopped him.

"And Mr. Jane, welcome back."

He just nodded before continuing on to the elevator.

…

**Jane Residence**

He'd purposely procrastinated on drudging up the steps to his bedroom. Lisbon's clothing was still there. The Red John smiley face was still there. A thought crossed his mind. The last time, when Lisbon was gone…he'd come into his house and left things. Her cross. Her jacket. He didn't care about boundaries or revisiting his old crime scene.

Jane moved quickly to the bed and crouched down to look it over. He secretly hoped and prayed to find her cross. It had brought him so much comfort last time. He pulled his sheet and blanket back and moved the pillow and found absolutely nothing. Red John hadn't been there. Fresh tears stained his face as he collapsed into a heap on the bed.

Lisbon.

She'd been lying there with him not long ago, he thought. He'd held her in his arms and she'd allowed it. It had been the best night he'd had in a long time. It was the most human he'd felt in a long time. He curled up and pulled the covers over him, not bothering to change or remove his shoes. He pulled the pillow close to his face and inhaled the remnants of her smell. It smelt of the shampoo she used and he couldn't help but allow the tears to continue. He held the pillow as if it were a person and allowed himself to cry himself to sleep.

Tomorrow.

Tomorrow, they'd work on finding her.

At the very least, it gave him solace to know that he'd see the video tape of her at the store. Proof of life. It was enough to give him an ounce of hope. Enough to keep him going a little longer.

…

TBC…


	2. Risk Everything, Risk Nothing

**Title:** Red Window

**Author:** Shannon – shannyfish

**Disclaimer:** I do not own "The Mentalist" or its characters, Warner Brothers and Bruno Heller do. This is merely for entertainment purposes only.

**Rating:** R (to be safe)

**Summary:** Sequel to "Suffering is the Best Punishment". With Lisbon gone, Jane leaves CBI to set out to find her and to kill Red John. He won't let Red John kill his family again.

**Warning:** adult themes

**Chapter 2 – "Risk Everything, Risk Nothing"**

**Author's Note: ** Trailer for "Suffering is the Best Punishment"…not sure how I'd make one for this one, but I shall think on it!

http: / www. mega video. com/ ?v = Q581AW2H

(take out the spaces for )

...

"_To love is to risk not being loved in return. To hope is to risk pain. To try is to risk failure, but risk must be taken because the greatest hazard in life is to risk nothing."_

– _Unknown Author_

**Somewhere in California**

She wasn't sure how long she'd been there. She wasn't sure_ where_ she was. All Lisbon knew was that she wasn't in a normal hospital surrounded by her friends. So, she assumed that Red John had taken her…again. Before, though, he'd left her blind and with amnesia and bleeding in the middle of nowhere. This time it was obviously different. She was in a room that was set up much like a hospital. She had lines going in and out of her, there were machines to monitor her progress, and she was actually feeling alive.

Lisbon wasn't sure what to feel. To be relieved that she was alive? Or to be angry that Red John had taken her again? She moved and realized that she wasn't restrained in any way. That was the good news at least. Her room was lit by a window, but from what she could see didn't really tell her where she was. She could see buildings, but they just seemed generic.

Sitting up was more difficult than she'd originally thought. Her side screamed from pain as she attempted to move. She felt her side, where she'd been split open for the second time, and had found that it had been fixed and patched up. They were taking care of her. Possibly even good care of her. Lisbon finally managed to sit up fully and realized that she was really not comfortable. She didn't know how long she'd been hospitalized, if this was a hospital, but she was attached to electrodes, I.V. and a catheter.

Lisbon was ready to see if she could escape. She was sure that even if she were in a hospital, that Red John would be in control somehow. There would be guards. Guards of some kind. It wouldn't matter that she was CBI. She was sure that they would have distributed her photo all over the state and possibly to surrounding states. If she were in any kind of medical facility, they would have already contacted local law enforcement and CBI.

There was only one way though for her to find out where she was…to move and to take a chance. She gently removed the tubes and electrodes from her body, trying to be as careful as possible so that it was as painless as possible. She was in a hospital gown and she had to admit that it wasn't comfortable and it wasn't practical for what she was about to do. None of it was tied together and she felt extremely exposed. She tried to reach back and at least tie one of them but any movement on her one side felt like it was pulling the injured area and caused immense pain. So, she had to deal with her recon without the back tied together.

Carefully, she lowered herself and her feet to the floor until her feet came in contact with the cold tile. She held onto the bed, not really feeling one hundred percent. Eventually, she felt like she could hold her own weight and she cautiously stepped away from the hospital bed. Walking carefully towards the door, she headed towards the wall so that she could lean against it if she needed to.

It took her several minutes, but Lisbon eventually made it to the door. It was a sterile white door with a beveled glass window in the top of it. She supposed it was there for light, but also for privacy's purposes. Her hand hovered over the door handle. She didn't see any shadow on the other side, but Lisbon was still a bit apprehensive about opening it. She was afraid of who was on the other side…or what even.

Pulling in a deep breath, she turned the knob and pulled the door back and open to peek out. What she found surprised her. There was a room that looked like a living room, complete with a pair of couches, coffee table, and a rather large television. There were five men sitting around on the couches eating and drinking and they all stared at her. She recognized three of them as her captors. This was great…just great.

"Look who woke up," one of them said.

"I told you we should have restrained her. The doc is going to be pissed that she pulled everything out," another spoke up.

Lisbon took a cautious step back. She wanted to run. To run for it and hope that they wouldn't run after her. But she hadn't seen an exit in the room that had looked much like a hospital room that she'd been in before. There was really no place to hide and no way to escape. Plus, there was the fact that she had no proper clothing or shoes or a weapon or really anything… She was so screwed.

They got up from where they all sat. One of them moved towards her and she backed up further back into the room. She was scared of what they'd do to her. She was scared to as why she was there. Scratch that, she was absolutely terrified. She couldn't think straight; all she could think was that Red John had her…and he was holding her…there was a reason for this. These guys were keeping her alive and actually taking care of her for a reason. She'd seen what Red John had done in the past and she was even more frightened.

"Please," she started to beg in a whisper. She felt the tears push out of her tear ducts and down her cheeks. She knew that the crying wasn't going to help anything, but she couldn't help but feel emotional. Visions of Red John's work flashed through her head as she continued to back up.

"It's going to be okay, Teresa," the man said softly. "We've taken good care of you," he told her. He stopped in place. "The doctor said that there probably won't be any scars on your neck or side. He's pretty good."

Lisbon stopped when she bumped into a machine. "Why do you have me here?"

"To keep you safe," he said matter of factly. "I know you must be scared and confused…but I'm not going to hurt you."

"You work with Red John," she blurted out, tears still falling. She sucked in breath and tried to steady her breathing. "I know what Red John does."

"That's not going to happen to you, Teresa," he told her. "Red John has promised. He promised me that you would be mine to care for. Mr. Jane even told us that he allowed us to take you in order to help you."

Lisbon shook her head. She couldn't think of Jane saying that. She didn't need their kind of help. "You're wrong… Jane wouldn't hand me over to Red John."

"It was that or he got to watch you die," the one leaning against the doorframe spoke up.

That made a lot more sense. If Jane was faced between letting her die and letting her live, she could see him letting Red John take her if only to search for her after. "What are you going to do with me?" she asked, wanting desperately to still run away, but had the bulky machine behind her keeping her in place.

"He's given you to me," the man in front of her said again, his hands going to his chest. "I promise that it won't be as bad as I'm sure you're thinking it's going to be. I will love you and cherish you and give you all the time you need in order to accept me."

She was his? Really? Her mind reeled back to the case of the twins. Red John had killed one and given the other to Dumar to keep. Dumar had locked her up in a basement where they'd found her scared to death. He'd wanted her as his bride and was locking her up in order to keep her safe from the world outside.

"I won't be locked in a basement like Maya Plaskett," she told him.

"You don't have to be, Teresa… As long as you follow the rules, you can go outside and go on walks and go to the store. This isn't supposed to be a prison sentence… It's just a new life for you."

She still didn't like what he was saying. She didn't want to be someone's wife…well, at least not this way. Lisbon, though, knew that there were alternatives. The one hanging in the doorway seemed to think that she'd be better off tied down and probably sedated. The one in front of her truly seemed to love her, though she didn't know how he could do that since he didn't know her. She also seemed to think that perhaps he was telling the truth. He seemed like a relatively non-violent person. He wasn't one of the ones who abducted her.

"Wha-what's your name?" she asked. If she was going to go along with this, then she needed to get to know this man who intended to care for her.

He smiled at her question. "I'm Simon," he said.

She nodded. "Hi," she said after a moment, a bit hesitant.

Lisbon knew that at the moment that she wasn't being tied up or sedated or any of the other things that could be done to her as a prisoner. They had been kind to her. They had showed that they cared. Now, she had to earn their trust. And she'd look for her chance to escape.

"Now," Simon said. "I'm going to have to ask you to calm down. None of us want to have to restrain you. Plus, I don't think that that will help with your recovery…and you've been healing so nicely."

"Simon," the man from the doorway started.

"Carl, he said that she was mine to deal with. Let me handle this," Simon said without turning to the other man.

Carl looked ticked and left the room, closing the door as he left. Lisbon's eyes moved to Simon who was standing in front of her. He wasn't a bad looking man. He was about 5'10" and he looked about average height. He looked like he worked out, but not obsessively. He had short dark brown hair and blue eyes. His skin was tan and his smile lit his face up. She had to admit that at least if she had to spend time with him, he wasn't hideous and it would make it easier to use him until she saw her chance.

"I…I just wanted my clothes…" she said quietly, letting her gaze drop to the floor.

He wanted to take care of her and this was how she was going to run it. She was going to let him help her. She had to be vulnerable. She needed to be…not herself completely. In truth, she was cold and she realized she was physically shivering a bit. She doubted that it helped that she was practically naked and walking around on a cold tile floor.

"The doctor hasn't said that you should be released from his care yet," Simon said. "I have a whole closet of clothes at the place we're going to live. I didn't bring much for you, for here… This place is only temporary…"

Lisbon nodded. A place where they were going to live…Red John had really set it up for them to be some kind of arranged marriage… Lisbon didn't like it, but at the same time she would make the best of the situation. "I'm just not comfortable in this," she said, pulling at the hem of hospital gown a bit."

"I did bring a pair of pajamas… I bet that would be more comfortable," Simon said. "And a pair of socks?"

She lifted her head, just enough to meet his gaze. "That would be very nice," she told him quietly.

He nodded quickly and seemed pleased by her response. "Do me a favor while I go and get it, will you get into bed so that I'm not worried about you falling?" he asked.

"Okay," she said quietly. She stepped around the discarded tubing and electrodes on the ground and scooted up into place on the bed, being very mindful of her audience and the fact that the back of the gown wasn't tied shut.

…

**Gas Station**

They were in San Francisco, Lisbon knew that much. She'd been at the house with the hospital room for a week apparently and then she'd been cleared to move. The doctor said that she was healing up great and had given her and Simon instructions for making sure that everything continued to heal as it was. Lisbon was pathetically thrilled to be in a set of undergarments, warm socks, dark jeans, a green blouse, a grey jacket, and boots. It made her feel more human.

She and Simon weren't travelling alone. They were to travel with Ed and Carl and they'd be staying at the house that Simon had been boasting about for about a week or until they felt that she would be okay there with Simon. She really wasn't thrilled about the babysitters. It was going to make everything so much more difficult and drawn out.

Simon parked the car alongside a pump and turned to her. She'd been surprised that they'd been okay with her sitting in the passenger seat. He handed her three twenties. "Teresa, I need you to go in and tell them pump four."

"You can't trust her," Carl argued.

"You can come with me," Lisbon said as she turned a bit to the back.

"Let her go," Ed said. "Not like we can keep an eye on her from here."

Ed was right; the wall that faced the gas pumps was a glass one. They'd be able to see every move she made. This was a test, she realized. There would be no running now. She couldn't alert the cashier. She had to play this like this was any other day.

"Go ahead and take a few minutes," Simon said. "Can you get us all coffees? I'd also appreciate one of those things of the little donuts. You know the ones?"

Lisbon nodded.

"The plain ones," Simon told her.

"Bag of Flaming Hot Cheetos for me," Carl spoke up.

"I'll take a Snickers bar," Ed said.

"Any cream or sugar?" she asked. Lisbon wanted this to go as smoothly as possible. It would end up making Ed and Carl disappear faster.

"If they have some hazelnut cream," Ed said.

The other two didn't want any. "Okay," she said. "I'll be right back." Lisbon got out of the car, as did Simon. She just headed straight for the store at the gas station. When she first entered, she gave the lady the sixty dollars and told her the pump number before telling her that she was going to get some snacks and would be back to collect the receipt then.

She took her time going around the store. She thought about coffee, but she just didn't want it. She had a feeling that bathroom stops were going to be few and far between. And she didn't want to be escorted to the bathroom. Instead, she chose a bottle of water and a fruit punch packet of Crystal Light. She gathered up the Flaming Hot Cheetos in the biggest bag they had, a king size Snickers bar, a roll of plain donuts, and then a bag of honey roasted peanuts. She set them on the counter and then informed the lady that she was going to get some coffees. She took two over at first along with the individual hazelnut creamers. When she headed back with the third coffee, she realized that they had postcards.

I could tell them that I'm okay, she thought.

"They're not quite done pumping yet, it's going to be a minute," the woman said.

"No problem," Lisbon said. She looked over to see that she was still being watched. Ed and Carl were still in the car and Simon was pumping the gas. "Do you happen to have stamps for the postcards?"

"Sure do."

"If I addressed one, could you send it?" she asked. "We're going through town. Not sure where there's a post office…and my husband hates to stop when we're on trips like these."

"Normally I would say no, but you know…I'll do it this time," she said with a smile.

Lisbon smiled back. She carefully moved a postcard with the Golden Gate Bridge on it from where it was in front of the counter alongside gum and candy bars. "Do you have a pen?"

"Sure."

The pen was pushed forward and she was careful not to move her hand much and not to look down for very long. Occasionally, she'd turn towards the car to check on Ed, Carl, and Simon. She addressed it to Jane at CBI Headquarters and put a simple message down. Just enough to know that she was alive. "I really appreciate this," Lisbon said. "I have a friend. He worries… I send him a postcard every once in a while."

"Travel a lot?"

"Yeah," Lisbon said as she slid the postcard and the pen forward.

"Do you need your receipt itemized?" the woman asked. "They're done pumping."

"No, it can be just a total," she said. Lisbon was happy that the woman had asked, just in case they did want the receipt then they wouldn't be able to account for the extra dollar that was the cost of the postcard and postage. After a moment, the woman put a bag with the snacks and her water in it onto the counter and then handed over the receipt and change.

"Thanks," she said. She dropped the receipt and change along with the creamers into the bag and put her arm through the plastic loops and then carefully got the coffees. She was grateful when someone opened the door for her. She carefully stepped down and then walked across the gas station to where the car was parked.

"Sorry," she apologized. "I had to wait for the gas to finish pumping."

Simon just smiled at her. "Yeah, it was pretty close to being empty," he said as he took two of the coffees from her. "You did great. Did you get everything?"

"Think so," she said as she opened the passenger side door and then sat down and closed the door again. She turned and handed the coffee she still had to Carl, since he was so grumpy and then began to hand out snacks. Simon joined them a second later and handed Ed his coffee. Lisbon made sure that Ed got his creamer and then handed Simon his donuts.

"You didn't get coffee?" Simon asked concerned.

"No, I figured water would be better," Lisbon told him.

"You're probably right," Simon agreed and then opened his donuts while they sat there.

"Where's the receipt?" Carl asked.

"Oh!" Lisbon said and retrieved the change and receipt from the bag. "Sorry…it was too much to carry…"

Simon took it and looked it over for a minute before dropping it in the center console. "We all ready?" he asked.

Lisbon nodded as she buckled up and emptied her Crystal Light packet into her water. She shook it and then set it in the cup holder so that it was ready for later when she was actually thirsty. She set her peanuts alongside it. Right now, she was going to sit back and try to be comfortable as Simon drove to who knew where.

They left the gas station and headed for the I-80. Lisbon knew that she really needed to keep an eye on where they were going. After all, she wanted to know where her destination was. It would help her out later.

…

TBC…


	3. Behind the Facade

**Title:** Red Window

**Author:** Shannon – shannyfish

**Disclaimer:** I do not own "The Mentalist" or its characters, Warner Brothers and Bruno Heller do. This is merely for entertainment purposes only.

**Rating:** R (to be safe)

**Summary:** Sequel to "Suffering is the Best Punishment". With Lisbon gone, Jane leaves CBI to set out to find her and to kill Red John. He won't let Red John kill his family again.

**Warning:** adult themes

**Chapter 3 – "Behind the Façade"**

**Author's Note: ** Trailer for "Suffering is the Best Punishment"…not sure how I'd make one for this one, but I shall think on it!

http: / www. mega video. com/ ?v = Q581AW2H

(take out the spaces for )

I'd also suggest maybe youtube-ing the song I'm using for the quote. It's sort of relevant to Red John, but also Lisbon and what Jane's going to be watching. I guess it really sort of goes to everyone in their own ways.

...

"There's a face that we hide

Till the nighttime appears,

And what's hiding inside,

Behind all of our fears,

Is our true self,

Locked inside the façade!"

- "Façade" from Jekyll & Hyde the Musical

**CBI Headquarters**

She kept looking. Jane sighed in frustration. He didn't know how many times he'd watched the surveillance tapes from the gas station. There were only two views. One of the cameras was mounted behind the cash register and the other was at the other end of the store. There wasn't any camera that faced out to the actual outside of the station. But from what he saw, Lisbon was acting like nothing was wrong.

"How many times are you going to watch this?" Hightower asked.

"As many as I need to," Jane responded as he zoomed in on Lisbon's face. He'd watch her carefully gather things through the store, but it was the time she spent at the cash register that most interested him. She'd smile towards the doors every once in a while and then he watched as she made out the postcard to him. She was calm and Jane wasn't sure if that was a good thing or not.

Lisbon had to have a plan was all he could think of.

He wasn't sure what the plan was, but he was hoping that Lisbon knew what she was doing. Jane was happy that she looked well. He'd still been worrying even with the postcard that she was lying in some field somewhere decomposing. But this was proof of life. They had to have had her see someone in order for her to be up and walking and looking just normal.

"She looks alive at least," Hightower commented

Jane nodded. At least. "They didn't get a license plate or anything?" Jane asked.

Hightower shook her head at him. "Just what you have there. She paid in cash. She wasn't accompanied in by anyone. She wrote the postcard covertly while in the store. That's all we know."

"Well, she has three coffees and a water. I'm going to assume that she was with three others," Jane said. "Also look at the snack choices. Flaming Hot Cheetos, a roll of plain Donettes, Honey Roasted Peanuts, and a Snickers bar," he pointed out.

Hightower shrugged. "Sounds like road trip food to me…and there could be two others with Lisbon. "

"It's obvious she's got the water. She took her time to select the Crystal Light to put in it and then she didn't make any of the coffees the way she takes it," Jane told her. He was sure that he was right. There were three others with Lisbon, which was probably why she didn't make a break for it. If it had been just one, then she wouldn't have hesitated. "She's looking for a way to escape, but she might be stuck…" Jane rambled and then shot a look straight at Hightower. "We have to find her."

"Finding Teresa Lisbon isn't the sole priority of the CBI, Mr. Jane," Hightower said. "We will continue to pursue any leads that we get, but we can't just go house to house in the state of California looking for her. We have to have some place to look. The woman who mailed the postcard said that Lisbon had said that they were just stopping in for the gas. They were driving through. She could be practically anywhere by now."

He watched as Hightower left. She was right; of course, the postmark alone on the postcard told them that they were at least a day behind…which really meant two days. They had no way for sure to be able to track them. Rigsby and Cho were working to see if any of the traffic cameras at the time around that area had a vehicle that went through that looked like Lisbon was in. Yes, it was a long shot, but it was something…and with any luck they'd at least get a vehicle color, type, and model if not the license plate number as well.

He could hope anyways.

He had a feeling that the whole team was hoping.

Jane felt his heart break on the inside. He had almost told Van Pelt that he'd been the one to tell Red John to take Lisbon. It had been his decision. Of course, his decision had been right. Lisbon was alive. Now they just had to search the world to find her and get her back.

…

**CBI Headquarters**

A week.

Jane started to do the math in his head. Lisbon had been missing now for over fourteen days, Jane was pretty sure that it was more like seventeen days. That was nearly a month. They had had no more leads. None of the traffic camera research had panned out. They just had the postcard and the surveillance video to go off of. That wasn't enough.

He was staring at the ceiling as he lay on his couch. Hightower had ordered them to go investigate a murder, but Jane hadn't moved. They'd already been brought up to speed that it appeared to be a Red John case. Jane really didn't want to deal with Red John unless there was a clue to Lisbon in it for him. He knew that he was selfish but that was how it was going to be. He would be selfish and childish.

He closed his eyes as the memory of Lisbon yelling flooded his memory. "Can't you see there's people who care about you, who need you? You're being selfish and childish. And I want you to stop it!" Lisbon had insisted when they'd been so close to Red John before. They'd lost him because Lisbon hadn't waited, she didn't want to risk it. They found the girl safe, but Jane had been forced to shoot their only hope of finding out who Red John was when Dumar tried to shoot Lisbon.

Maybe he just couldn't do it without her.

He needed Lisbon.

He needed her especially there.

He loved her.

Jane sighed and rubbed his face. He couldn't do this without Lisbon. She kept him in line; he could still easily manipulate Cho, Rigsby, and Van Pelt. Which was fine, but sometimes he needed someone there to keep him in check. He needed Lisbon.

"Jane, it's time to go," Van Pelt said.

"I'm not going," Jane told her evenly.

"Jane," Van Pelt said. "You heard Hightower before… This is a Red John case, we need you there…"

"No you don't."

"What if it's a copycat again?"

A valid point. But at the same time he knew that it was invalid as well. He'd been training them enough to be able to spot the inconsistencies if it were just a copycat. After all, they'd all three been together through their fair share of Red John cases. He had faith in them. They could do it without him.

"Please," Van Pelt said. "I know this sounds stupid, but I'd feel better with you there."

He opened his eyes to study her. She was standing not more than three feet away from him. He looked at her eyes, she looked worried. He didn't know why she'd be worried. It was a crime scene; she'd been to lots of those. He finally nodded and sat up. She needed him there even if he knew that they could do it without him. Maybe it was just his presence that comforted her. Whatever it was, he'd be there for her now.

And since he was going, he'd hope for a clue.

…

TBC…


	4. This isn't Normal

**Title:** Red Window

**Author:** Shannon – shannyfish

**Disclaimer:** I do not own "The Mentalist" or its characters, Warner Brothers and Bruno Heller do. This is merely for entertainment purposes only.

**Rating:** R (to be safe)

**Summary:** Sequel to "Suffering is the Best Punishment". With Lisbon gone, Jane leaves CBI to set out to find her and to kill Red John. He won't let Red John kill his family again.

**Warning:** adult themes

**Chapter 4 – "This isn't Normal"**

**Author's Note: ** Trailer for "Suffering is the Best Punishment"…not sure how I'd make one for this one, but I shall think on it!

http: / www. mega video. com/ ?v = Q581AW2H

(take out the spaces for )

...

"_Normal is not something to aspire to, it's something to get away from." – Jodie Foster_

**California/Nevada Border**

When the sign 'Welcome to Nevada' came into view, Lisbon sat straight up in her seat. She'd been slouching and trying to be as comfortable as possible on their long drive. "Where-where are we going?" she asked suddenly worrying. She hadn't expected to leave California. The CBI would be looking for her in California, Lisbon wasn't sure if her picture has been distributed to neighboring states at the very least or not. But then she didn't know their final destination.

"We're going home," Simon responded evenly as he continued to watch the road.

"Where is home?" Lisbon asked.

"The house with the red windows," he told her.

Lisbon frowned. That really wasn't helpful, but she wasn't going to argue. She thought that maybe if she got Simon alone, he may tell her where they were going…at least the state, but she doubted that Ed or Carl would allow that.

"We're going to want to stop soon," Carl spoke up.

Lisbon wasn't sure if this meant that their trip was going to take several days or if they'd be there the next day. Though, she didn't like the idea of being so far away from the people who were looking for her. She was sure that Red John didn't mind though. They would find her, though, she'd just have to leave some more clues to help them…and hope that Carl and Ed would just leave so she could make a break for it.

…

**Ketchum, Idaho**

The house with the red windows was located off of State Highway 75 with a road and a bridge that led into the 3.4 acres lot to the house. It was built like a log cabin with a green metal roof. Beside the house was a two car garage and there were pine trees that shot up in a few places around the house. Simon had told her that there was a barn also on the premises, but Lisbon hadn't been about to see it yet.

They'd been there for nearly a week and Lisbon had mainly stayed in her room except when it came to meals. Simon had told her that he valued her coping with the new 'situation,' but insisted that she eat with everyone else. The closet in her room was filled with an array of shoe wear at the bottom ranging from flip flops to snow boots, khaki pants, a variety of button up blouses, different color v-neck sweaters, a few hooded sweatshirts, a peacoat, and a snow jacket. The dresser contained essential undergarments, socks of all kinds, some t-shirts, and jeans.

Lisbon had to admit that having someone go out and buy her a wardrobe was really odd. Maybe it was because everything fit. It was a prison without looking like one. None of the windows opened, Lisbon supposed that it must not get too hot there during summer, either that or people just liked to suffer. She wanted to leave so badly, but there was no way for her to leave with Ed and Carl still there.

A knock came at the door. Lisbon turned her head towards it; she was dressed in jeans and a green t-shirt. She'd refused to wear anything in the closet. She just wanted to leave. She just wanted Ed and Carl to leave. That was all. "Come in," she said as she stared out her bedroom window. She was sitting on the edge of the bed with her back to the door. She really didn't care who it was. It wasn't time for dinner yet, so Lisbon could only assume that Simon had come to coax her out of the bedroom. She heard the door open and then close and she just sat there.

"Teresa…don't you think you've been in here in isolation for long enough?" Simon asked.

"Ed and Carl don't like me," she said quietly. "They make me uncomfortable…" She didn't look at him and instead stared out the window. She had to admit that it was sort of nice there…with the pine trees. There was a kind of solitude there.

Simon sat down next to her. "They're leaving tomorrow," Simon said quietly. "Come out…just sit and watch TV… Or..help me plan Thanksgiving dinner. You can tell me what you like to have… I want to make sure that you enjoy it too."

Lisbon had forgotten that Thanksgiving was coming up. She tried to think hard to figure out the current date. Thanksgiving had to be coming up pretty soon then. "I normally spend Thanksgiving alone…"

Simon took her hand and patted it. "Teresa, I know that this is a hard transition for you, but it just takes some time." He placed a thin square box in her hand. "This is for you."

"What?" she said in confusion as she moved her gaze from the window to the box in her hand. It was a red box with a white ribbon around it that was tied into a bow. "What is it?"

"It's a present for you…from Red John."

"I don't want it," she said and handed it back to Simon. She didn't want anything from Red John.

"Please," Simon insisted, pushing it back into her hand.

She sighed and pulled the ribbon to release the bow and let the ribbon fall. She removed the top of the box and stared down at the gift inside. It was a silver bangle that was elegantly engraved. "It's…nice…"

"It'll mean a lot if you wear it… It'll ease Ed and Carl… They'll feel much better about leaving tomorrow," he said.

"Fine," she said and picked it up to decide of how to put it on. She tried to slip it onto her wrist, but Simon took it from her. He pulled out a key from his pocket and unlocked the circlet. He moved from the bed and then crouched down in front of her.

"It's an anklet," Simon explained as he placed it around her ankle.

"And it has a key?" she asked.

Simon shrugged. "I thought it was a thoughtful gift."

Lisbon shook her ankle a bit and stared down at it. "It's just…not my style."

Simon stared at her for a moment. "Come out and help me figure out Thanksgiving dinner?"

She didn't want to. She wanted to remain locked away in her room until her team found her. She'd sent out another postcard…in Reno, but she hadn't been able to mail anything from Idaho. She doubted that the team would find her there without clues. Lisbon just nodded and then got to her feet. She was barefoot and figured that not putting on shoes would show off her new gift.

"Is it just going to be us for Thanksgiving?" she asked quietly as she followed him towards her door.

He nodded. "As far as I know, but you never know… Red John could stop by."

Lisbon paused for a moment, but then quickly continued on. To have Thanksgiving with Red John… The only thing that she'd be thankful for in that instance is if she either got to kill the bastard herself or if that's when the cavalry decided to arrive. She was pretty sure that if either of those things happened then she'd be pretty well set for the rest of the year.

"Look who's decided to emerge from her cave," Carl commented.

She just ignored him and followed Simon towards the kitchen. The house wasn't huge, but it was a good size. It had three bedrooms and one bathroom. Currently she was occupying one, Simon was occupying a second, and Ed and Carl shared the third. Simon told her that he wanted to turn it into a library after they left. The kitchen wasn't updated, but it wasn't shabby. There was a breakfast bar area, which is where she and Simon sat as he pulled out a notepad and a pen.

"I don't even know if you like to cook," Simon said quietly.

"I can boil water," Lisbon told him.

He smiled at her. "Well, then it's good that I know how to cook. So…if you were having Thanksgiving, what would you want?"

"Normally people have turkey-"

"I want to know what _you _want, Teresa… It's going to be our first holiday together," he said softly and reached out and touched her hand.

She resisted the urge to pull away and instead forced a smile forward. She glanced down at the wooden bar her hand was resting on for a moment before looking up at Simon. "Really… I'm not picky. I'll be happy with anything."

"No food allergies?"

She shook her head in response.

"Okay," Simon said and started to list out some items. "What about dessert? I was thinking a pumpkin cheesecake…"

"Sounds good," she said with a nod.

He smiled at her. "How would you like to go shopping with me tomorrow? We'll go into town and do the Thanksgiving shopping… That way you can pick up any shampoo or anything that you'd rather have than what's in the bathroom."

"That would be really nice actually," she said. Lisbon knew that this might be her only opportunity to get another postcard out…or anything out about her location. It was also somewhere in which she could get easily lost and escape if possible. She just hoped that Carl and Ed left first thing in the morning. She really didn't want to have to deal with them watching her every move. Plus, with their watchful eyes, she'd never be able to get word out in any form. She'd be lucky if they allowed her to talk in public.

The only hitch in her plan was that she didn't know her exact location. She knew what highway the house was off of, but the house didn't have numbers on it and she'd noticed that the mailbox at the gate where the entrance was had no numbers on it either. She also only knew that the last city sign she'd seen was for Ketchum. So, she could be in Ketchum or she could be in a surrounding area. For all she knew, the area that the house was located in was unincorporated.

…

The shopping trip had gone exceptionally well. Ed and Carl had left early in the morning, before she'd even gotten up. This had left her in a very good mood and to show Simon that she could be trusted and that maybe she was normalizing to the situation, which she wasn't, she put on the clothes in the closet. She'd dressed in a blouse that was light blue and had pulled on a navy blue sweater with it and had on a pair of khaki pants. It was getting colder, so she grabbed a coat just in case. She didn't know what weather to expect there, just from the looks of what was in her closet that eventually it was cold enough for snow.

At the store, Simon had allowed her to leave his side. He'd actually encouraged her to go off and get anything that she needed. So, she'd found a postcard rack and pulled one off and then had filled out the information on it while walking aisles. She's addressed it as she had before. This time she put 'the house with the red window' as the message. Lisbon hadn't even had the time to sign it. Simon had found her and she'd tucked it in her back pocket before he could see. In that moment, she'd made her excuse to use the restroom. She'd hidden it in the ladies bathroom. Inside of the door was a plastic slot in which they kept detailed records of who cleaned the bathroom and when. It would be changed any day now, so she slid it behind the current paper after writing on the back of the current sheet that she was a CBI agent in need of help and that they needed to mail the postcard as soon as possible. She'd thought about leaving a phone number…but for some reason it seemed like it wouldn't be as reliable. Of course, the phone would have been faster.

During their outing, she'd realized something. The days had gone by faster than she'd realized. There were only two days until Thanksgiving. All hope of her being out of that hellhole before then were crushed when she'd seen the date on the newspaper in the store. She'd thought about running, but she really hadn't decided if Ed and Carl were one hundred percent gone yet. So, she figured that she'd wait a couple of days and see how things went.

…

It was Thanksgiving Day and even though she'd been up for a couple of hours, she'd lie in bed and just stared out her window. It was an odd window; the square and 't' that made up the wooden parts of the window were all a crimson red. It was a bit creepy actually, but she supposed that it gave it character. The house was filling up with holiday smells and it was comforting in its own way.

Lisbon got up and put on one of the outfits from the closet to try to appease Simon. He hadn't seemed mean; he actually seemed oddly kind and gentle hearted. She wasn't sure how he fit into the whole Red John story, but she was careful about when she mentioned Red John. She didn't want him locking her down. He'd already told her that she had full freedom of the grounds and though he wouldn't let her drive, she'd be allowed to go with him.

The day had gone smoothly enough. Dinner had been excellent and Simon had been quite pleased that she'd enjoyed it. He'd cooked a full feast of turkey, stuffing, yams, mashed potatoes, green salad, green beans, cranberry sauce, and of course the pumpkin cheesecake. He'd even brought out a cranberry wine, which he'd insisted that she drink even though she'd told herself she wouldn't. It was much too delicious for a wine, more like cranberry cocktail with a hint of alcohol.

She'd retired to her room around midnight after thanking Simon for the beautiful dinner. Lisbon shut her door and started to change. Normally, she would change into pajamas, but she'd decided that it was time to get out. She wasn't sure how far she'd get. The highway area towards the town was flat and a good distance. So, instead she'd changed into a pair of jeans and long sleeve t-shirt. She'd put a pair of hiking boots under her bed and had left the hoody and peacoat out so that she could get to them easily. She wished that she had more things that she could take. Lisbon had wanted to take a flashlight at the very least. She'd thought about getting a bag, she'd seen a messenger bag in the hallway closet but hadn't risked getting it. She would take food, extra clothes, water, and a flashlight at the very least if she could.

Lisbon lay in bed, staring up at the ceiling for hours. It was three in the morning before she finally started to move. She pulled on the hoody and zipped it up before pulling on the peacoat as well and buttoning it. She was glad that the peacoat was black, it was going to help her blend into the darkness better and that's what she really needed. Picking up the boots, she decided to put them on outside, that way there would be less creaking. Opening her door slowly, she peeked out. Simon wasn't in sight. She closed the door just as carefully and made her way for the front door. It was easy enough to get out; she just unlocked everything and opened the door quietly as well. She closed it the same and then quickly pulled on the boots and tied them tightly.

She knew the way to the highway and she started off towards it in a run. She knew that at that time that Simon should be asleep, but she still worried about him discovering that she'd escaped far too soon. It took her several minutes, but finally the main entrance came into sight. It was a ways off but she could see it and that was what was important.

With the gate only about a minute's walk from her position, Lisbon smiled brightly. Freedom was in sight. Soon enough she'd be somewhere where she could safely make a call to the CBI and her team would be there. She'd see Jane again. Sadness suddenly flooded her as she thought about him; all she wanted at that moment was for him to hold her. It was silly, but she really felt the need for that comforting contact.

Moving forward, she suddenly felt a shock start from one of her ankles and jolt upward. It brought her to her knees and her mind was so confused. Before she could move on her own accord, she was yanked backward. She fell back on her back and the face of an upset Simon came into her view. She was busted.

"What were you thinking?" he screamed at her.

"What the hell just happened?" she screamed back at him.

He turned and walked in a small circle for a moment before turning back. "I told them. I told them all that you wouldn't be any problems and look…you try to leave! Why would you do that?"

"What? Are you kidding?" she asked as she got to her feet.

"Red John…that anklet that he sent. It has a tracking chip and its also wired into a remote and the underground fence around the whole property. It'll shock you if try to leave without me being with you," Simon explained. "I never thought that it would have to be used."

"You do realize that I'm a CBI agent… I don't belong here," she argued with him. How could he honestly expect her to just forget about her life? To live this fairy tale country life that he'd made up for them? What was next? Did he expect her to thank Red John for everything he did? She'd rather die first.

She watched Simon; she was trying to figure out how she could get around this situation. He obviously had something that deactivated the anklet of doom. He held up the remote and pressed the button, she almost immediately felt the pain return. She fell to her knees again; trying to push past the pain but found herself being poked by a needle before she realized what was going on.

Lisbon honestly didn't know how much time had passed by the time she woke up. She was lying on her stomach and the first thing she noticed was that she wasn't in her own room. She was in Simon's room. He had sheets with leaves on them, hers were a pale green. The next thing that she was realized was that she'd been stripped down and was under the covers in Simon's bed in only a bra and panties. It was definitely not a position she had wanted to be in. She started to move to the side in order to roll over and get out of the bed when she felt a hand firmly on her back. A second later she was being poked by a needle again.

"Simon-"

"I didn't want to have to do this, Teresa… I didn't want to use the drugs or to do anything against your will, but you're not giving me a choice. All I wanted was for us to be normal and happy here…"

She felt him put weight on the bed and though she wanted to move, her body felt much too heavy to move. She blinked and tried to keep the tears that threatened to fall back. "Simon, please…" she pleaded. She wouldn't be able to fight him in this state. It didn't matter about the anklet at the moment.

"I'm not a bad person, Teresa… I'm sure that's what you think… That because I know Red John then I must be a bad person…" Simon went on. "Red John and my father were good friends. I was married once…she was killed…it was brutal and the only person who was willing to bring her killer to justice was Red John. I've lived in this place for five years…alone. He wanted to give me back my life…he gave me you and I wanted you to have time to accept this and to eventually want to come to my bed without me dragging you in here, but if you're going to be so stubborn then I'll do things another way."

"Please," she whispered again, this time the tears fell. She felt him wrap her arms around her from behind and the weight of his body against hers. She hadn't expected for Simon to snap like this, but then she had also not expected to get caught…or at least hoped not to. "This isn't normal, Simon," she whispered.

He was silent and unmoving and that scared her. Lisbon felt like screaming, but she knew that that was utterly useless. There was no one around to hear her or to come to her cries. She was on her own and she needed to try to make the best out of the situation for now. "Please," she whispered again. "I promise that I won't try to run away again," she promised.

…

TBC…


	5. The Clues

**Title:** Red Window

**Author:** Shannon – shannyfish

**Disclaimer:** I do not own "The Mentalist" or its characters, Warner Brothers and Bruno Heller do. This is merely for entertainment purposes only.

**Rating:** R (to be safe)

**Summary:** Sequel to "Suffering is the Best Punishment". With Lisbon gone, Jane leaves CBI to set out to find her and to kill Red John. He won't let Red John kill his family again.

**Warning:** adult themes

**Chapter 5 – "The Clues"**

**Author's Note: ** Trailer for "Suffering is the Best Punishment"…not sure how I'd make one for this one, but I shall think on it!

http: / www. mega video. com/ ?v = Q581AW2H

(take out the spaces for )

...

"_They are like the clue in the labyrinth, or the compass in the night"- Joseph Joubert_

**CBI Headquarters**

Postcards.

That's all he cared about at the moment. They were the only clues they had to find Lisbon. And that was all that mattered. He didn't care about the cases that Hightower was forcing him to consult on. He'd walk along and make a comment here and there and just pretend that he cared in order to appease her and to continue getting his postcards when they came. He was pretty sure that she was tampering with the mail or something that was a felony by holding them from him, but he was also pretty sure that she could somehow get a court to not see it that way. So, he tried to play along.

"Jane," Hightower said.

He was in his normal place. On his couch. Pretending to sleep. Obviously someone had no manners and was rudely attempting to wake his non-sleeping self. Jane tried to pretend that he didn't hear her. He thought that maybe she'd just walk off and forget about whatever she was going to complain about. That was why she was there.

"Jane, I know you're awake."

"Well, no one can sleep with you nagging them awake," he complained and pretended to wake up. He looked up at her. He didn't even think about moving into a sitting position. He was actually quite comfortable there.

"You're not following on your end of the deal."

"Excuse me?" he said.

"You used to close cases. There hasn't been a single case closed since you came back," Hightower told him.

"Come on, I'm just a consultant," he said. "You flatter me, but in all honesty it was Lisbon who solved the cases."

"Lisbon's reports—"

"She's too modest," Jane said quickly. "You can call up Minelli and ask him."

Hightower just stared at him before presenting a postcard in an evidence bag.

Jane sat up quickly and grabbed for it. The postcard was of the brightly lit town of Reno, which was in Nevada. His heart raced as he tried to conceive of what that meant as far as the CBI's involvement in finding Lisbon. They'd crossed state lines. He knew it was a possibility, but he'd wanted to believe that she was still somewhere close.

"You're not going to get a peek at this until the two cases that you're supposed to be working on are solved," Hightower told him.

"Lisbon's out there!" he shouted, getting to his feet. "She's giving us clues and you're playing games with me?"

"Don't think that I don't have agents working on this, Mr. Jane. I do. You're just not working on it or seeing what comes of it. Not yet."

And with that, Hightower left and took the postcard with her.

His mind raced and he raked his hands through his hair in frustration as he spun around and ended up facing a concerned bunch that consisted of Van Pelt, Rigsby, and Cho. So, maybe Cho looked more like his normal Cho face, but Jane liked to believe he was concerned as well. He needed to know what the postcard said. He needed to know what they'd learned from it. He just needed to hold it and see it and know that Lisbon was still alive.

Walking to where the team was sitting, he pulled out the most recent file. The case was of a man who was found drown in his own bathtub. Everyone had an alibi and there were no obvious suspects as far as the team was concerned. Jane knew better. "His wife killed him," Jane said. The only reason they had this case was because of the slight bruising that had appeared after he'd been removed from the bathtub.

"That's not possible," Van Pelt said. "She has an alibi."

"Mrs. Williams and her alibi…her friend…they were more than friends and he probably helped her do it," Jane filled them in. He'd been there and he'd seen all the clues, but he hadn't felt up to the task at the time in order to really run through things in his head. Now with the postcard on the line, he was working extra hard. "There has to be something… Unusual credit statement… They probably met up at a hotel somewhere since he lives with his mother…not exactly romantic."

"We haven't pulled her credit statements," Van Pelt admitted.

"Well, now I can't possibly do everything," Jane told her.

"Jane," Rigsby chastised.

"Do you know that Red John's taken Lisbon across state lines?" Jane asked. He was upset. He was emotional. He was angry. He was determined. He wasn't going to let this get to him to the point where he couldn't function. He was going to use the team to his advantage. They'd go to bat for Lisbon any day of the week. "Hightower has a postcard from Reno. She won't let me see it or know what the results are from whatever tests they're running until these two cases are solved."

"I'll get a warrant," Cho said quickly before moving towards his desk and his phone.

"The other case, though?" Rigsby said. "You mean the kidnapping? I don't know that that's solvable."

Rigsby was right. It had been weeks and they didn't know anything more. They'd just run into dead ends. And they really had tried. Jane had looked at that picture for so long and every time he wondered if she looked something like Lisbon had when she was a little girl. He knew that he was far too focused on Lisbon, he was seeing her everywhere, but he couldn't honestly stop from doing it.

Lisbon was the reason he was back at CBI.

Lisbon was the reason he just couldn't concentrate.

What could he do though? Hightower wasn't going to do anything if he didn't solve the other case as well. He was sure that she was feeling the heavy hand of the senator as well. Jane just…he'd looked at that case. He and Lisbon both had. It had been a priority before Lisbon had been taken. They'd spent hours and hours on it and nothing. It was like whoever took her was a ghost.

"Let's get the tapes for the gala from that night," Jane said. They had to have missed something. There was nothing else that they could go on. They pretty much only had the video tapes. No one had seen anything. That would be far too easy.

"We've looked them over a hundred times, Jane," Rigsby said.

"How many cameras did they have?"

"Ten, I think," Rigsby said.

"Think about it," Jane told them all. "It was an international event and at the capitol building… There were _only _ten cameras? Really? They probably have ten just covering the main entrance."

Kaydance Millary had not yet been found. Normally they strived to find a missing child within the first forty-eight hours. That didn't happen. She'd been missing for nearly a month now. There were no leads. He didn't suspect the parents. Well at least not of kidnapping her, he suspected them of being bad parents though. Actually, he was pretty damn sure that they were. But being bad parents meant that they just had to live with the fact that their daughter was taken and they were technically both responsible for it.

"I'll see if I can get any more footage," Van Pelt said as she moved towards her desk in order to make the calls.

"Wait," Jane said. "Cho should talk to Hightower and see if she can get them. We've already put in the request. Lisbon saw to it personally…perhaps Hightower has some more pull with those at the capitol building?"

"It's worth a try," Cho said.

…

It was late and everyone was getting ready to leave. Cho had insisted that they all walk out together, which Jane figured was Cho's way of making sure he didn't do anything stupid. Cho was a smart man. Jane had been pondering breaking into Hightower's office and commandeering his mail. He was still pretty sure that it was some kind of offense to mess with the mail.

So, he'd decided to make Cho's life easier…at least today…and comply. They were all waiting at the elevator when an unexpected voice told them to hold. He turned to see Hightower standing there with the plastic bagged postcard from Lisbon. His eyes didn't leave it.

"Mr. Jane, I know our deal was for you to close both cases, but since I've recently discovered that security at the capitol building didn't give us all the evidence I've decided to let you see it now," she said and held it out. "Don't think that this means that if another one comes in though that I'm just going to hand it over. If you continue to close cases then you'll get it right away… Do we have an understanding?"

"I understand," Jane said as he accepted the offering. He turned it over and read the back of it. It was addressed to him as before. The message was longer this time. 'I don't know where they're taking me. All I know is that they don't intend to hurt me. Three men are with me. This is only a stop, we're moving on in the morning'. This time she signed it 'Teresa' and that made Jane a little more concerned.

He was sure that she knew that this would be evidence, that all of CBI would see it and she never really went by her first name. It was always Lisbon. He figured that it was probably something that she'd learned that made it easier for her to be taken seriously; it made her more like the other guys in law enforcement. And he'd gone along with it, almost always. He'd called her Lisbon. Jane knew that maybe she was scared and this was her way of unconsciously passing it along. Whatever he meant, he knew that they needed to find her.

"The postcard has so many fingerprints on it that it took quite a bit of searching to get all the matches. They're Lisbon's and then several people who work at the gas station store that this was purchased at. We contacted them and they said that Lisbon hadn't been alone in the store; two men were with her at the time. We're waiting on the video now. She'd hidden it in the bathroom in the paper towel dispenser and had written on a paper towel that she needed help and that the postcard needed to be mailed. Apparently they almost threw it away," Hightower explained.

…

It seemed like time dragged on and Jane felt like this cruel punishment of time stretching was only making things harder. They still hadn't solved the Millary kidnapping, but the tapes had helped them. They'd found the face of the man who had managed to take the girl's hand and lead her quietly and unsuspectingly out of the gala's main room. They'd run it through every database but so far nothing had come back. It seemed like they were closer, but then at the same time Jane felt like they were far off.

There was something they were missing. That was all he could think. Though he didn't think that it was something that they could really help. It was something that hadn't presented itself yet.

"Jane," Hightower summoned.

He got up from his couch quickly; he was hoping that they'd found some results regarding the two men on the video. He'd watched it and the first video several times. In the second one, Lisbon had seemed exhausted and uncomfortable. In her postcard, she'd said there were three men, and they still didn't have his face.

"Did you find something?" he asked.

"There are no hits on either of those faces so far. We've tried to widen the search in hopes that something comes up," she informed him.

"Oh," he said disappointed and turned his gaze downward.

"It's been almost a week," Hightower said. "Maybe you should think about taking some time off…"

He knew that he'd been more so mopey lately but he couldn't help it. The fear of never solving the Millary case and then not finding Lisbon was starting to weigh on him. He'd tried to do his job as well as before, but somehow he didn't think that was possible without Lisbon. She added to his antics…or at least added to how he did things. Cho wasn't the same as Lisbon. He was good at keeping the team going and doing his job, but he wasn't Lisbon.

"Ma'am!" came an urgent voice.

Jane followed Hightower's turned head towards the mail boy. He was carrying a plastic evidence bag with a postcard. His eyes widened a bit. Was this a new postcard? Was this Lisbon?

"You said that if another postcard came for Mr. Jane to bag it and make sure that you received it right away," the young man said and held it out for her.

"Thank you," Hightower said and accepted the bag and then nodded to the young man.

Jane watched him leave and then looked to Hightower. He didn't care that tests weren't run on it yet. He just wanted to see it. To read the clue that could be contained on it. He could see the front picture side of it. It was a colorful one with the state name 'Idaho' illustrated on the front. His heart dropped a bit. They'd gone over another state line.

The postcard was offered to him without a word after a moment and Jane had to admit that he was a bit surprised. "Thank you," he choked out before flipping it. It was addressed to him as before. "The house with the red window," he read aloud. "She didn't sign it this time," he said with a bit of concern.

The house with the red window.

He pondered it for a moment and then handed it back to Hightower with a bit of hesitation. He'd been able to keep the other two since they'd been processed. He knew that this one needed to be processed as well in order to get more information. It had to be done. But these postcards, these clues, these lines of communication…they were the only connection he had to Lisbon at the moment. The other two postcards were safely locked away in his desk.

"Maybe it means that they've finally stopped," Hightower said as she read the message as well.

"The house with the red window," Jane repeated. "Maybe once the labs have done their thing it'll make more sense," he said. He shook his head. "Maybe the red window is distinctive. He could only hope. It was another glimmer of hope… He'd take it.

…

TBC…


	6. Shopping and Trying to Set off Alarms

**Title:** Red Window

**Author:** Shannon – shannyfish

**Disclaimer:** I do not own "The Mentalist" or its characters, Warner Brothers and Bruno Heller do. This is merely for entertainment purposes only.

**Rating:** R (to be safe)

**Summary:** Sequel to "Suffering is the Best Punishment". With Lisbon gone, Jane leaves CBI to set out to find her and to kill Red John. He won't let Red John kill his family again.

**Warning:** adult themes

**Chapter 6 – "Shopping and Trying to Set off Alarms"**

**Author's Note: ** Trailer for "Suffering is the Best Punishment"…not sure how I'd make one for this one, but I shall think on it!

http: / www. mega video. com/ ?v = Q581AW2H

(take out the spaces for )

...

"_A babe in the house is a well-spring of pleasure, a messenger of peace and love, a resting place for innocence on earth, a link between angels and men" – Martin Fraquhar Tupper_

**Ketchum, Idaho**

Lisbon woke to find herself clothed in her pajamas and in the room with the red window. The room that was supposed to be hers. She immediately started to assess herself for injury and signs of rape. She knew what the reports all said in cases of rape, the medical reports. She felt like she had the day before. She didn't feel injured or bruised or anything. She got up and stripped down in order to further examine her own body. She remembered vividly how heavy Simon's body had felt about her almost naked one the night before.

She didn't see any bruising or anything that would be cause for alarm. Lisbon went into the drawers and started to pull out fresh clothes for the day. Thoughts ran through her head like why Simon hadn't done it when he had the chance. He'd been upset; it had been the most upset and angry that she'd seen in him since they'd met. But instead he'd just brought her to bed and put her in her pajamas and tucked her in.

After she dressed, she peeked out the door to only find that she didn't see anyone. Simon was normally on the couch watching a cooking show or in the kitchen. She slowly emerged from the room and looked around. She even ventured down the hall only to find his door open and his room empty. That was curious. Turning, she headed back towards the door to the house and stopped when she heard Simon's voice outside speaking. Her heart stopped when she heard a child's sobs. She figured that she had to take the chance and find out what was happening.

She looked outside to see familiar faces. Too many familiar ones. Lisbon opened the door and stepped out without thinking. Simon was talking to Carl and Ed who were holding a frightened Kaydance Millary. Lisbon knew it was her, she'd stared at the picture long enough when she'd been working on the kidnapping case. "What's going on?" she asked and all faces turned to her.

"We brought you an early Christmas present," Carl said and pushed the girl towards her.

Lisbon moved forward and crouched down to catch the child before she could hit the ground. She protectively held the girl close. "You took her and held her this long?"

"We didn't know if Simon could even handle you," Carl told her. "I thought he'd only last a day once we left… So, so far, he's only ahead by a few days…"

"It's going to be okay, Kaydance," Lisbon whispered to the girl and rubbed the little girl's back. She was more than scared and Lisbon couldn't help but wonder where she'd been for the weeks before. Had they really just held onto her for this long?

"I really don't like that name," Simon complained and turned towards Lisbon and the girl.

"Well, she's yours now…you can change it," Ed pointed out.

"Simon?" she questioned. She wasn't sure what was going on, all she knew was that she was happy to see the little girl alive and safe.

"She's going to be our daughter," Simon explained. "I like Katie better. You're going to be Katie."

Lisbon just frowned deeply and gathered up the girl in her arms. She wondered if they'd been planning all of this for that long. If they went out into public as a 'family' she doubted that anyone would doubt it. Kaydance looked enough like her to pass for her daughter. "It's okay," she repeated quietly to Kaydance as she turned and carried her into the house.

She took the child into her bedroom and closed the door. Lisbon set the frightened girl on the bed and sat down next to her. "Do you know how I know your name?"

Kaydance shook her head. Tears were still freely flowing down her cheeks and she'd sniffle every couple of minutes.

"I'm a cop," she said. She knew that kids usually understood that. "I actually was looking for you before they brought me here."

"Are they going to lock me in a room again?" she asked.

Lisbon frowned deeply. "No, I won't let that happen," she promised. She moved so that they were face to face. "Do you know how to pretend?"

Kaydance nodded.

"I'm going to need you to pretend so that we can get out of here. Can you do that?"

She nodded again.

"I know that it's not your name, but we're going to have to pretend that your name is Katie okay? He's trying to pretend that we're a family. Do you understand?"

She nodded. "Are the mean men going to stay?"

"I don't know," she told the girl honestly.

"They put this on me," Kaydance said and pulled up her pant leg to reveal a matching anklet.

Lisbon frowned. "Do you know what it does?"

"It hurts me if I'm bad."

Lisbon pulled up her jean leg and revealed her own. "I won't let him do that. It should only go off if we try to go to the road."

"How do we leave then?"

"My friends, they're going to come and get us…but for now…for right now we have to pretend to be happy and that we're a family. Okay?" Lisbon asked.

"'kay."

There was a brief knock and then the door was opened and Simon let himself in. "What are you doing?"

"Katie and I were just chatting… She was scared. I was just telling her that everything's going to be okay," Lisbon told him. "I wasn't sure if you wanted her to sleep in here or if she got to have the other room?"

Simon stared at them both for a long moment. "I haven't gotten her any things yet."

"We can go shopping tomorrow," Lisbon said. "Get her a bed set, some clothes, some things…"

"I don't know…"

"Can we get a Christmas tree?" Kaydance asked quietly after a moment.

Lisbon looked at her, she was rubbing her eyes. "Christmas is coming up," she said and hugged the child to her closer. So far, Kaydance was doing okay. She thought it would help once it was just the three of them. Ed and Carl just scared her. The reality that they still might be there through Christmas was highly depressing, but Lisbon tried to put on a smile.

"Ed and Carl are not staying the night. The other room is supposed to be Katie's room," Simon said.

"Can I stay in here tonight? Please?" Kaydance asked.

Lisbon dropped a kiss to the girl's forehead and then turned to Simon. "They've had her locked up in a room for how many weeks now? She's just scared… I'm sure once it's got things in it for her that she'll be fine sleeping in there."

"We should probably get some snow clothes," Simon said. "Do you like snow, Katie?"

"I haven't gotten to play in snow before…" Kaydance said in a whisper.

"You haven't? Okay, then it's solved. We go shopping tomorrow."

…

The drive was long, but Simon had insisted that it was necessary. The house wasn't really too far from basic stores like the grocery store or the gas station, but something like Target took about a two hour drive to get to one. Lisbon was just happy that Kaydance had fallen asleep. It was probably for the best. They'd left early and she'd ensured that the little girl ate a good sized meal and had used the bathroom before they left. She'd felt bad having to put Kaydance back into the same clothes that she'd come in, she didn't know how long she'd been in that same set.

"Why don't you make a list?" Simon suggested. "There should be a pad of paper and a pen in the glove box."

He was driving like usual, which in this case she really didn't care. She'd keep keeping track of signs. He'd said that they were journeying down to Twin Falls, which sounded like it may be a bit bigger on the map than Ketchum. She wasn't even sure if they had a post office there or if the mail was picked up and stamped for another city.

So, she pulled out the paper and pen and started to make a list.

- bedding set

- snow clothes and boots

- clothes and shoes

- toys

- videos

- books

Lisbon honestly wasn't really sure what Kaydance Millary was used to. She was a senator's daughter, but she didn't know if she was spoiled or not. They hadn't gone to the senator's house or investigated the little girl's room since she'd disappeared at the gala event at the capitol building. It hadn't been necessary. So, she was just guessing.

Two hours later and Simon was pulling them into a rather crowded Target parking lot. She waited until Simon opened his door first before opening hers. She got out and immediately went to help Kaydance out. She shut both doors and met Simon at the back of the vehicle.

"Have the list?" he asked.

She nodded and kept a hold of Kaydance's hand. They started to walk through the parking lot and towards the entrance. It was a pretty good sized one, she was sure that since some people had to drive from so far away that they needed to have a good sized one. It was sort of nice, she thought, to have something that she'd taken for granted in California to be able to go into the familiar where she was. Even if it wasn't under good circumstances.

Simon pulled out a cart and then lifted Kaydance into it. She was five years old, but Lisbon was pretty sure that she was small for her age…or maybe she was just remembering Kaydance in comparison to the size she remembered her brothers being at that age. So far, she didn't seem to mind being put in the cart, her legs were a little long and it took an extra couple of seconds to get her in comfortably.

"Why don't you start going towards the bedding section, go ahead and pick some things out. Make sure that you get two extra blankets. It's going to start getting cold. I need to make a call," Simon told her.

Lisbon just nodded and pulled out the list and told Kaydance that she was in charge of it before starting to push the red plastic cart in the direction. She was thankful that there were huge signs, it meant that Simon couldn't blame her for doing anything suspicious when she would normally just be lost. She looked over her shoulder for a moment to check on him, but kept going forward.

"You know what we should do?" Lisbon asked the girl.

"What?"

"We need to make sure we get you a brush and some hair things. I could braid your hair," she told her. The smile she got out of Kaydance was enough to make her day. "Sound good?"

"Can they be pink? I like pink."

"If they have it, the it can definitely be pink," she said as she rounded a corner and knew they were close to the bedding. "Is there anything special you want for your bedroom?"

"I don't know," Kaydance said with a shrug.

Lisbon smiled brightly. Even though they were both still technically prisoners, she was enjoying her time with Kaydance. She really hadn't thought about having a child of her own. She'd raised her brothers for a good period of her life growing up. Her career had always come first and she hadn't gotten serious to the point where children came up with anyone.

She found two aisles with children's bedding and she started down the first one. "Let's look first and then we'll pull what you want." There was a character aisle and just a generic kids aisle. They were going down the generic aisle first.

"I like the one with the flowers and fairies," Kaydance said.

"Well, let's remember that and we'll go down the next aisle," Lisbon told her as they rounded the corner and started down the next aisle. When Kaydance crinkled her nose at everything on that aisle, they went back to the other aisle. Lisbon was happy to not have to pull the Hello Kitty bed set. There was something about the cat with the big bow that irked her. So, they returned for the Circo Fairy Bed Set. It was placed in the cart and then went on to look for the two extra blankets like Simon had requested.

Lisbon found a bright pink down comforter and a light green fuzzy blanket, both would match the bed set, so she figured that they were good there. They'd done that part of the list and it was probably easier without Simon there. Since Simon was no where to be seen, she automatically headed to the clothing section figuring it wasn't that far off from where they'd been. He probably just didn't want to do all the girly shopping.

They took their time and picked out panties, socks, pajamas, shirts, pants, jackets, gloves, hats, scarves. The only things that wasn't in the section were boots and shoes. Finally, she saw Simon and he apparently saw them. He was now walking their way, which she thought was good because that meant that they could get the last few things and then head out. She was actually really hungry now.

"Having fun?" Simon asked.

"Yes," Kaydance said with a bright smile. "I even have a pretty pink hat!" she said as she held up the item. "It has pom poms on the ends."

Lisbon smiled brightly, the simplest things made the child so happy.

"Good, that's good… What else do we need?" he asked.

"Shoes, boots…and then I figured we may want to get her a DVD and a toy…and we'll also need a brush and some hair bands."

"Lead on," Simon said.

Their total store trip probably took close to two and a half hours, was all Lisbon could think when they were finally at the check out lane. Simon's phone went off, she watched him frown at the caller ID.

"Here," he said as he handed her a credit card. "Use this. I'll meet you back here in a minute… Get a snack or something if you have to wait for me."

"Okay," Lisbon said as casually as possible. She looked down at the card. The name on it was Simon Evans. Good to know the possibly last name of her captor she thought. There'd been no postcards throughout the store, which had left her plan for another postcard at not happening. As she waited for their turn, she watched the person in front of her being processed. The checker asked the woman in front of her if she wanted a credit card, that would require a social security number. If Simon wasn't back by then, she'd try to do that…to get the number that was sure to be watched to beep somewhere in California.

It came her turn and she asked Kaydance to keep an eye out for Simon as she did the same. The bags went into the cart and she waited for the total.

"Four hundred sixty five and eighty three cents," the checker said. "Would you be interested in opening a Target Card?"

"How long would it take?" Lisbon asked.

"Just a minute," he assured her.

"Okay, why not? Do I have to use it today?"

"Not if you don't want to."

"Okay," she repeated and followed the on screen steps as quickly as she could. She put in her name and social security number and address in California and prayed that the CBI was watching it.

"Okay, you've been approved," the checker said and handed her the receipt version of her new credit card.

Lisbon immediately stuffed it into her pocket and then ran Simon's credit card and signed for it. She looked up at the black half sphere camera above them and whispered to Kaydance to do the same.

"Your receipt," the checker said holding it out.

"Thanks," Lisbon said with a bright smile and headed over to the food court area. She double checked to make sure that the credit card receipt was folded and tucked so that Simon wouldn't see it.

"Is it going to be a long ride back?" Kaydance asked.

"Probably…"

Kaydance frowned. "We didn't get our Christmas tree…"

"Oh, I forgot," Lisbon admitted. "I forgot to write it down." She frowned and looked around. They were supposed to meet Simon there. "Why don't we get a pretzel or something while we wait for him and then we'll figure out about the Christmas tree?"

"'kay…"

They waited for what felt like an hour before Simon appeared with his own shopping cart complete with a bunch of bags. "Sorry it took so long, I realized while I was on the phone that we didn't get the Christmas things… I hope you don't mind that I picked them out? The tree is waiting over in the garden section," he explained. "We can pull up the car and they'll help me strap it to the top."

"Yay!" Kaydance said in excitement.

"I'm glad you remembered… Katie was getting upset, but we didn't want to leave here and end up not letting you know where we were going," Lisbon said as evenly as she could.

"Shall we just pick up fast food on our way?" he asked.

"I'm okay with that, but let me run Katie to the bathroom before we get back in the car," she said as she lifted the little girl out of the cart.

Minute later they both returned and they moved both carts out to the car. It wasn't a compact car; she'd thought it was more of a cross between a sedan and a station wagon. All the company decals had been removed. They loaded the back of the vehicle with the bags after Kaydance was safely in her seat. The tree was put on several minutes later and they were off.

…

Lisbon sat outside of the house with Kaydance. It had snowed and though it was cold, they were both pretty comfortable in the heavier jackets they both wore. Kaydance had even put on her hat, gloves, and scarf for good measure. They were sitting outside on a bench made out of trees. It was nice and quiet. Simon was making dinner. It had been quite a long day. She had laundry going so that the bedding would be clean for Kaydance. They had already discussed putting up the tree in the morning.

"Do you think my parents miss me?" Kaydance asked suddenly.

She looked down at the little girl. It was such an odd question. "Of course they miss you," she said quickly. "They love you."

"But they don't take care of me how you do," Kaydance said and looked down at the snow.

Lisbon frowned. "Sometimes parents don't realize that they should be doing little things like going shopping with you," she tried to explain. She knew that that wasn't always true. Sometimes parents were just bad parents. They were clueless. They ignored their children. She really wasn't sure what to decide as far as the senator and his wife were concerned. Maybe they were just too consumed with work, which was really only something you could do when you didn't have children.

She knew that if this was her child, then she wouldn't be working long hours at CBI and she'd have some kind of system set up so that Kaydance was picked up after school. She'd make it work and if she had to…she'd switch her job so that she wasn't at work so much if she had to. It was just something you had to figure out. Kaydance was five years old, that was a lot of time for the Millarys to figure out how to work their lives around their adorable daughter.

Kaydance leaned against her and Lisbon put her arm around the girl. "At least we have a Christmas tree…" Kaydance said.

It was so sad to hear the little girl. She almost seemed like she was happier there with them both being held prisoner. Yes, it was probably a fairly good situation considering everything, but Lisbon had no plans of living her life there. CBI was looking for her, looking for them both, and she knew that they would find them. She hoped it was before Christmas. It seemed like they'd been there for too many weeks as it was. She had lost track of days, Simon didn't keep a calendar and the TV was all local stuff and unless you watched the news there were no dates anywhere to be seen.

"It'll work out," she said, more to herself than to Kaydance. She looked up at the sky as snowflakes started to fall again.

Her thoughts went to her team and Jane… Had they gotten her postcards? Had they understood the clues that she'd given them? Were they even working her case? Were they even still at CBI together? There were so many questions and no way that she could really ask them properly.

All she knew was that Christmas was coming and she wanted to be home for Christmas…even if California decided they should have a hundred degree weather Christmas.

…

TBC…


	7. Blessing in Disguise

**Title:** Red Window

**Author:** Shannon – shannyfish

**Disclaimer:** I do not own "The Mentalist" or its characters, Warner Brothers and Bruno Heller do. This is merely for entertainment purposes only.

**Rating:** R (to be safe)

**Summary:** Sequel to "Suffering is the Best Punishment". With Lisbon gone, Jane leaves CBI to set out to find her and to kill Red John. He won't let Red John kill his family again.

**Warning:** adult themes

**Chapter 7 – "Blessings in Disguise"**

**Author's Note: ** Trailer for "Suffering is the Best Punishment"…not sure how I'd make one for this one, but I shall think on it!

http: / www. mega video. com/ ?v = Q581AW2H

(take out the spaces for )

...

"_What seems to us as bitter trials are often blessings in disguise." – Oscar Wilde_

**CBI Headquarters**

The office had been frantic the last few days. There were a lot of cases going on, but then everything had seemed to stop when Lisbon's social security number and signature had pinged. It wasn't a postcard, but it was definitely something. Hightower had been making sure that it wasn't getting pushed to the bottom of the pile and so in return, Jane had been on his best behavior. He'd even closed a case in just a few hours.

"Do we know where Lisbon apparently was?" Van Pelt asked she they all pretended to look at case files.

"Idaho," Jane said.

"Why aren't we flying there? Haven't there been two clues that she's there?" she asked.

"Our jurisdiction is in California," Cho spoke up.

"The febs would let us work the case too," Rigsby spoke up. "Just like we'd let them work our case if it involved one of their agents being missing."

Jane knew that that was true, but the problem here was that Hightower was there. They'd have already left if Minelli hadn't retired. He noticed Hightower making her way towards them and Jane decided to make it look like they were actually working on the file they all had. "So, I think that we should look into what the wife knows… She knows something."

"You haven't met her yet," Van Pelt pointed out.

"The wife always knows something," Jane told her with a small smile.

"I hope I'm not interrupting," Hightower said. "But I figured you'd all like to look over the tapes from the Target?"

Without another word, they all stood up and were soon following Hightower. Jane was hopeful. The last postcard had come from Idaho. The store cameras there hadn't caught anything useful. Almost all the women looked the same in the low quality footage and it was in black and white.

When he saw the footage, he immediately knew that this would be different. It was high quality and there were different cameras and angles already up. "Have we confirmed that it was Lisbon?" he asked before he got his hopes too high.

"Just got here," the tech spoke up. "I have it a few minutes before her social was run. Ready?"

"Go ahead," Hightower said.

The footage started and Jane watched as a woman with dark hair came into view. Her face couldn't be seen, but he had a feeling that that was because the cameras were mounted in the ceiling. He waited patiently as it soon became her turn at the register. The tech zoomed in and they watched as Lisbon looked around and then put in her information. Her real information. Then Jane realized something. She wasn't alone.

"The girl is with her," Jane pointed out and touched the screen to highlight his point. A moment later, she looked straight up and then she talked to the girl and she looked up as well.

"Freeze that," Hightower said.

And the image stopped. "That's Kaydance Millary…" Jane said. The case that they'd been so desperate to try to solve. The case of the missing girl with the horrible parents. "Why is she with Lisbon?"

"She looks kind of like Lisbon," Van Pelt spoke up. "Maybe they did it on purpose?"

"Lisbon would have put something on her postcard if the child was with her," Jane said.

"He's right," Cho said.

"Maybe it's a new thing?" Rigsby offered.

"Print out that image and then continue," Hightower said.

"That's the end of that section, but they sent us other footage they thought we'd be interested in along with the contents of what was purchased and the name on the card," the tech said as he switched to the camera footage of Lisbon and the girl ordering pretzels and drinks and then sitting and talking. A man soon approached them and talked with them. Before long they were leaving together.

"What's the name on the card?" Hightower asked.

"Simon Evans," the tech said.

The camera changed to the parking lot where they were loading the car and then eventually to where they pulled around to have the Christmas tree put on the top of the vehicle.

"Can we get a license plate?" Hightower asked.

"I'll try to run it," the tech said. "Do you want me to print out their receipt?"

"Please," she said and then turned to the team. "It looks like they've stopped in Idaho. This was in Twin Falls, but the postcard's postmark is from Ketchum."

"How far apart are the two places?" Jane asked.

"A little over eighty miles."

"Does Ketchum have a Target or a Walmart? Or anything similar?"

"I'm not sure, Mr. Jane."

"I'll go look it up," Rigsby immediately volunteered.

"I'll run Simon Evans through the system," Van Pelt said.

Cho spoke up. "Ma'am, if we decide that Lisbon is in either Twin Falls or Ketchum, may we fly to Idaho?"

"I'll have to see what evidence you have first," Hightower said.

Cho nodded and headed off with the others.

"We're coming up on three weeks until Christmas," Jane said. "We have to bring them both home before Christmas." He couldn't bear to think that Lisbon and Kaydance were forced to experience a holiday that was supposed to be joyous in the company of Red John's friends. That was unacceptable.

"We're going to try," Hightower said. "But we have to have the evidence. For now, I'm going to get on the phone and contact the police departments and fax over the picture of Lisbon and Kaydance Millary along with this Simon Evans. Hopefully we'll get something."

…

Cho had said that Lisbon being taken was a blessing in disguise because if they'd chosen anyone else to play house as the mom, they'd never have connected the two cases. Lisbon was smart and she was able to get out clues and pass along information that they desperately needed. He wished he could talk to her, just for a minute.

He'd become unproductive.

The lead on Lisbon and Kaydance Millary had gone cold. There was no evidence to tell them where in Idaho to look. The name Simon Evans was an alias or he just wasn't in the system at all. Jane didn't think he couldn't be in the DMV. The techs hadn't been able to find a good face shot of him in order to run it through facial recognition, which left them still with no leads. The license plate had been switched; it belonged to some old lady who didn't drive her car anymore.

It'd been over a week now.

He stared up at the calendar. It was about two weeks until Christmas… At this rate, they'd maybe have enough evidence to go and get Lisbon by the next Christmas. He doubted that Lisbon or Kaydance Millary would appreciate having to spend well over a year with whoever was holding them captive. This Simon.

Jane felt a wave of worry wash over him as he thought about Lisbon and how they'd figured that there were two to three other men with her. There had been three, she'd said before. They hadn't seen the other two. He wondered if this was some elaborate sick game of house and if he'd touched Lisbon. Jane felt anger rising as he thought about all the things that could have happened in this time. He knew Lisbon, she could push past things, she'd bury them inside of herself.

"Don't worry, we're going to find her."

Jane looked up to see Van Pelt standing there. "How do you know?"

"We always solve our cases, remember? And plus, it's Lisbon. She's left us this many clues so far."

"What if she can't hold on much longer? We've taken so long as it is," Jane said and then looked down at the floor. "It's my fault anyways," he mumbled.

"Jane-"

"It is! And that's the truth!" he blurted out.

They stared at each other for several silent minutes before he shook his head. If he told her the truth, she'd tell Rigsby and Cho and then what would happen to them all? In one hope, it would keep them distanced from him and possibly out of harm and in another outcome, they may just accept it and move on.

"What do you mean, Jane?" Van Pelt finally asked.

"When we were out there… Red John was there… They had Lisbon and re-opened her side…she was bleeding all over the ground," he said looking down in order to mask the tears. "I didn't have a gun…I couldn't do anything to save her… There were the three men and Red John."

"We all know that," she said gently. "That wasn't your fault."

"He asked me to choose."

"To choose what."

"I could take her and she'd die…and I knew she would…there was so much blood and there was no way to get medical help out there at that hour in time…"

"Or?"

Jane looked up at her. "Or I could choose to save her life by giving her to Red John and he pretty much promised I'd never see her again, but she'd be alive. I couldn't…I couldn't…let her die…"

Van Pelt stared at him for a long time, and Jane knew that she was processing what he'd said and was trying to come up with a response. Some kind of opinion. Something. Now it was out and now he had to live with the consequences, no matter what they were. He could live with the team hating him. He could even live with Lisbon hating him as long as she was alive. That was all that really mattered.

"You love her," Van Pelt said suddenly and quietly.

"What?" Jane asked. "Who?" He knew exactly who the young, naïve Grace Van Pelt meant, but he intended to protect Lisbon even if it were from others knowing how he felt about her. He'd tried to make sure that he hid it well, but Van Pelt was a romantic and things like that were things that she could possibly connect dots with.

"Lisbon," she said. "I don't know why I didn't see it sooner…"

"Grace," Jane said quite seriously. "You've seen the Red John case files. You've seen what he did to my wife and child. Now, why would I be crazy enough to love someone else and put them in that amount of danger again? No, I wouldn't. I feel bad enough having friends…having you, Lisbon, Rigsby, and Cho… I've put you all in danger."

Van Pelt frowned. "You loving her isn't something you can control, Jane," she said quietly before leaving him alone.

And she was right.

Naïve, beautiful, intelligent Grace Van Pelt was right about that. He remembered when she was a bright new agent, first day on the job with the team…she'd come so far. She had a promising future ahead of her, but Jane just hoped that she would allow for love in her life. She deserved it after all. They all did.

…

Half a week passed and all they'd done was track Simon Evans' credit card. No new hits on it, but Van Pelt had suggested that they look at his previous purchases and that perhaps one of the places he bought something at would have a good enough video system placed in the right spots so that they could get the face of Simon Evans. With a picture, they could run it through facial recognition through all their databases and those they were connected to. They had to have a hit somewhere…

It was just going to take time.

He didn't think they had the time. He'd been tempted to fly to Idaho on his own, but he was pretty sure that the minute his name was on a ticket that Hightower would know about it and keep him from going. She was awfully strict when it came to things like that.

Lisbon needed to come home now.

Kaydance Millary needed to come home.

He was still thankful that the missing girl was safe with Lisbon. It gave him some relief. He hated to think that she was still out there and possibly dead. Maybe Cho was right, maybe there was some kind of blessing in disguise going on here…

Jane wanted her home for Christmas…

There was something special about having the people you loved around you for Christmas even if you didn't celebrate it. Just to have them close. There was something comforting about it. There was something about it that made you believe in Christmas miracles. Maybe that's what he needed. Jane didn't believe in miracles…or God…but Teresa Lisbon did. And right now, perhaps he needed to have her faith and her strength of spirit.

A Christmas miracle…

It was all he could hope for…

…

TBC…


	8. Just Believe

**Title:** Red Window

**Author:** Shannon – shannyfish

**Disclaimer:** I do not own "The Mentalist" or its characters, Warner Brothers and Bruno Heller do. This is merely for entertainment purposes only.

**Rating:** R (to be safe)

**Summary:** Sequel to "Suffering is the Best Punishment". With Lisbon gone, Jane leaves CBI to set out to find her and to kill Red John. He won't let Red John kill his family again.

**Warning:** adult themes

**Chapter 8 – "Just Believe"**

**Author's Note: ** Trailer for "Suffering is the Best Punishment"…not sure how I'd make one for this one, but I shall think on it!

http: / www. mega video. com/ ?v = Q581AW2H

(take out the spaces for )

...

"_Miracles happen to those who believe in them." – Bernard Berenson_

**Ketchum, ID**

The Christmas tree was up and fully lit and decorated. Simon had insisted that they all take part in it together. He'd put up the white lights and had carefully and meticulously wrapped them around branches and up the whole tree. He'd already hung the big multi-colored lights up on the outside of the house. She'd taken the time to twist silver beads throughout the tree and then had helped Kaydance place bright colored balls on the tree. It was simple, but it was pretty.

Simon had begun to bake cookies while they had worked on the decorating. So, the house smelled even more like the holidays as it filled the small house. Lisbon had tried to make it fun, for Kaydance's sake. There was no reason that this whole period of time had to be traumatic. Lisbon didn't want such a joyous holiday to have such a black stain in her life.

"So, what do you want for Christmas?" Lisbon asked the girl.

"A puppy, but my mommy and daddy said I can't have one," she said sadly.

"We're your parents now," Simon said as he brought over a plate with his first batch of cookies. "And if you're a good girl maybe Santa will bring you one."

"I could have one?"

Lisbon watched as the little girl's eyes widened and her lips turned up into a smile. She thought it was mean. She didn't think that Simon would actually follow through and get her a puppy and then she also didn't plan on being there for much longer. It was already far too close to Christmas for her liking.

…

"She made a list for Santa," Simon said after she emerged from Kaydance's room.

The room fully decked out in the pink and green of the fairy bedding. It hadn't taken them long to make the room a little girl's room and it had already become lived in. She'd just put Kaydance down to sleep and had sat there and read her a story until she'd fallen asleep. She was getting rather attached to the little girl.

"What does she want?" Lisbon asked. She didn't really care. She didn't plan on being there much longer. She just hoped that they were looking for them. That they were close. She just worried that they didn't have enough to go on.

"A puppy," he said with a grin.

"The property doesn't have a proper fence for a puppy," she pointed out.

He shrugged. "So, we'll get one of those collars with the shock thing on it. It'll stop at the underground fence just like you did."

The memories of that were not pleasant and it made her body hurt, especially her ankle, when she thought about it. She didn't like the idea. She doubted that a dog would enjoy being shocked anymore than she had. "What else?" she pushed. She really didn't want to talk right now. She just wanted to sleep. That's all.

"A bunch of different toys, but that's good…she doesn't have really anything, so it'll be good for her," Simon said with a smile and placed his hand on her arm.

Lisbon felt an unconscious shiver run through her in response to his touch. She didn't want him to touch her. His hand ran up and down her arm and she didn't move. She wanted to push him to the floor and knock him out. She wanted to grab Kaydance and run for it. She wanted to go home. She didn't want to pretend anymore. It was all lies anyways; she didn't know how he could live his life as such a lie.

"And you? What do you want for Christmas, Teresa?" he asked.

"Nothing," she replied quickly. It was sort of the truth. All she wanted was to go home. To go back to her life. To be Agent Teresa Lisbon of the CBI. Not to be Teresa, Simon's fake wife. She didn't want this life. Yes, maybe she wanted to find someone to share her life with, but it wasn't Simon.

"Come on, you have to want something," Simon pushed. "It's Christmas. You have to have a gift."

"I don't want anything," she argued.

He pulled her close and she tried to push away lightly. She didn't want to start a full blown fight, but she wouldn't be taken advantage of. He kissed her forehead and she felt like crying. She didn't want him near her and she especially didn't want him to touch her. She felt his breath as he moved in so that his mouth was close to her ear.

"On Christmas Day, after presents are open… We're going to walk down the hall to my bedroom while Katie watches her movie and we're going to consummate our relationship," Simon said. When she started to pull away, he tightened his grip and pulled her closer. "You are going to cooperate because I'm sure you don't want anything to happen to Katie, do you?"

She didn't know what to think. She wanted to think that Simon wouldn't hurt Kaydance, but she couldn't know for sure. After all, he was sick enough to allow a matching silver anklet that shocked on the little girl. "No… Don't hurt her," she said quietly, her gaze downwards at their shoes.

"Good," he whispered and then kissed the side of her head. "Then, perhaps that'll be my special Christmas present to you."

Lisbon felt sick. Physically ill. She thought about running the remaining steps to the bathroom and emptying her stomach in the toilet, but she kept it down. The team would come for her, it wouldn't come to that, she told herself. She'd left clues; they'd figure it out. Jane would figure it out. If she was spending Christmas with anyone, it was with her team. She wouldn't even care if she had to fill out paperwork on Christmas Day.

He moved her face so that she was staring into his eyes. "You're going to learn to be a good wife and a good mother and you're going to be happy, Teresa," Simon told her. "If I have to use this," he said as he held up a small remote device. "I will. If I have to medicate you, I will. But you won't ruin this family." He moved in and kissed her and forced himself on her to deepen the kiss. "Soon enough," he whispered with a bright smile before heading to his bedroom.

She waited until she heard his door close before closing her eyes and letting the tears fall. Lisbon reached up and wiped her mouth. She felt so dirty and violated. He hadn't done anything that really warranted the idea of violation, but she felt it just the same. Lisbon slowly trudged to her bedroom after turning off all the lights. She closed the door and allowed a new torrent of tears to flow fresh from her eyes. Pressing her back to the closed door, she slid down and cried into her knees.

A miracle.

She felt like she needed a miracle.

A Christmas miracle.

What if her clues hadn't made it through? What if the team wasn't coming? What if they really just needed the address? The GPS coordinates? Something more substantial? She couldn't do this for too much longer. She had tried to stay strong. Being strong was hard. She'd done that all her life…and now she felt herself weakening… Lisbon wondered if this was what happened to people with Stockholm…did they just lose their strength to fight? She couldn't stay there that long.

She reached up and clasped her cross in her hands and then tilted her head back until it hit the back of the door. She stared up at the ceiling and then closed her eyes. She prayed to God. Prayed that she was Kaydance would be kept safe. Prayed that they'd be brought home soon. That the others were looking for them and that they'd understand her clues. Prayed that she could be stronger for just a little longer.

Maybe all she really did need was a Christmas miracle…

She'd pray every hour if that meant it would happen. She'd do anything. Lisbon had tried as much as she could do without Simon knowing…or even with Simon knowing. But there was no way she was going to try to run again and deal with the shock she received when she got too close to the road. There was no way that she could try to take Kaydance with that waiting for them.

Lisbon opened her eyes and stared at the window. The window with the red pane. Outside snow was falling and it just made her sadder. It felt like she was living someone else's life in some other reality. It wasn't fair. She couldn't stand it. The tears clouded her vision occasionally, but she didn't care. She just let them fall and didn't worry about wiping them away.

This wasn't the kind of married life she ever wanted. She wanted someone who would love and respect her. Who would let her still be free. Someone she wasn't afraid to be around. Someone she wasn't afraid to leave her child with. Simon was none of those. Before she'd thought that maybe Simon was different, that he only knew Red John, but now she knew that she'd been wrong. Simon was just like Red John's other minions. He was a wolf in sheep's clothing. He was dangerous.

She thought about hatching a plan. To attack Simon, overpower him. She knew that she could do it. But then what? Take the key from him, if she could find it? Release Kaydance and herself from the shock anklets and then run for it? Would it work? Did Red John watch them? Did he watch the house? Were Carl and Ed close by? There were so many variables… Too many. And then there was the fact that it involved Kaydance. It would be different if she was the only person she had to care about. Lisbon would gladly put herself in harm's way if it meant escaping. But she wasn't on her own; she had a child to care for. To worry for.

Hours passed and she sat against the door. Lisbon was drained and exhausted. She was still angry. She just wanted to run away. It seemed so simple, but it wasn't.

Nothing was simple.

"He's coming," she whispered to herself and she tried to make herself believe it.

Jane was coming.

He'd use his powers of observation and he'd look at the clues and he'd figure it out. He was coming for her and he was bringing the team. They just needed the time. They had to do paperwork and make plans. They had to put together a team and coordinate with the FBI. They had to make sure that the FBI would allow them to help…and the FBI would. Jane and the team would have to board a plane and fly to Idaho and drive there… They'd have to meet with the FBI and the locals and coordinate their plans before breaking into the complex.

But they were coming…

She had to believe in that.

He loved her.

Fresh tears fell from her burning tear ducts and fell down her chapped face. She could remember him saying it and the feeling it had caused. She'd been confused but at the same time she'd been so touched. She hadn't thought that someone would actually love her. It was one thing to like her and to have sex. Having someone who loved her for her being her…that was different. Of course, with her luck…any man who had fit into loving her for being her had been married. Though Jane was widowed, Lisbon couldn't help but wonder if he'd still love her once they took care of Red John. Would he remain with CBI? Would he remain with the team? Would he remain with her?

She shook her head and tried to shake the thoughts from it.

She loved him.

She loved Patrick Jane.

Slowly, she managed to get to her feet and drag herself to her bed. She collapsed onto of the bedding, without any of her clothes or shoes discarded. She didn't care. Lisbon curled up and stared out the window.

Jane was coming.

She believed in that.

She believed in him.

…

"Mommy! Mommy!" Kaydance yelled as she hurried into Lisbon's room and then shook her.

She felt like she'd barely slept. She stared at the little girl through her sore eyes. "Wha-what?"

"Mommy! Can we go outside please? I want to make a snowman!"

Lisbon didn't ask why Kaydance had started to call her 'mommy' and had just put it to the fact that it was something Simon had told her to do. She watched as Kaydance bounced. She looked past her to the clock. It was nearly noon. That was the latest she'd slept since she'd been there. The fact that she hadn't gone to bed until sometime after five had something to do with it. "Okay," she said finally. "Get your snow boots and jacket on and don't forget your hat and gloves," she said as she moved up into a sitting position.

"They're on my bed!" she said excitedly.

"Good," Lisbon mumbled as she rubbed her face. She probably should take a shower, but Kaydance was waiting for her. She could take one when they came back inside, plus it would help to warm her up. She would probably need it.

A minute later, the girl vanished from her room closing the door on her way out. Lisbon lay back down and stared up at the ceiling.

She believed.

Tears threatened to fall again as her thoughts became dark. She shook them away and forced herself upward and onto her feet. She moved forward and pulled out jeans and a long sleeve t-shirt before moving to the closet and pulling out boots, a hoody, and her snow jacket. She returned to the dresser and pulled out a thick warm sock. She looked out the window. She really didn't want to go out there. She just wanted to lie in bed and stare at the ceiling and wait.

How long did she have to wait?

Slowly, she stripped from the clothes from the day before and then replaced them with what she had put on her bed. She left the stripped clothes on her floor. She didn't care. Normally, she'd immediately put them into the laundry hamper, but she didn't care today. Today none of it mattered.

She felt broken.

She felt her hope fading.

She believed and yet she felt it harder to believe.

Lisbon rubbed her face and her eyes.

No, she loved Jane. He loved her. He'd come for her.

She'd be safe again. As safe as her life had ever been before. This was only a temporary situation. Soon enough it would be like a distant memory. But right now, now…she needed to push through it. She needed to continue being strong even though that was hard to do.

Pulling on the snow jacket, she pulled in a deep breath and told herself that she needed to relax. She needed to be okay. She needed to be strong. She needed to be there. Even if it was only for the benefit of Kaydance. Lisbon had to remind herself that she wasn't alone and that she had to be strong for someone else.

Believe, she told herself.

…

TBC…


	9. Really?  You're going with Protocol?

**Title:** Red Window

**Author:** Shannon – shannyfish

**Disclaimer:** I do not own "The Mentalist" or its characters, Warner Brothers and Bruno Heller do. This is merely for entertainment purposes only.

**Rating:** R (to be safe)

**Summary:** Sequel to "Suffering is the Best Punishment". With Lisbon gone, Jane leaves CBI to set out to find her and to kill Red John. He won't let Red John kill his family again.

**Warning:** adult themes

**Chapter 9 – "Really? You're going with Protocol?"**

**Author's Note: ** Okay, just an FYI to anyone who actually reads my notes. The next several chapters are going to be a lot slower. There were a lot of "a week has passed" in previous chapters, but the next chapters are going to probably be painfully slow as far as action goes, but that doesn't mean that they'll be boring ;) Just the best way to do them I think!

Suffering is the Best Punsihment Trailer - http: / www. mega video. com/ ?v = Q581AW2H

(take out the spaces for )

...

"_Protocol is etiquette with a government expense account." – Judith S. Marin_

**CBI Headquarters**

Protocol.

It was a single word and it was the new word that Jane hated. Not disliked, hated. It was all he'd heard since they'd at least figured out that yes, Lisbon was in Idaho. But what city? Yeah, so no one really knew for sure. Jane didn't think that that was a big hurdle but everyone else seemed to.

Hightower had already contacted the FBI, who had been graceful enough to let them work on the case even though it was in Idaho. They'd also been happy enough to let them tag along and assist in getting Lisbon once they knew where to look for her. So far, none of the locals knew anything. So, that was a bust too. Dead ends everywhere.

"Need something to cheer you up?" Van Pelt asked.

"Afraid tea isn't going to cheer me up," he said as he looked up at Van Pelt. He noticed though that she wasn't bearing a teacup. Sad, though, because he really could go for some. It just wasn't going to improve his mood. Instead, she had a folder. That was curious and he instantly found himself wondering what could be inside of it.

She sat down next to him and handed over the folder without a word of explanation.

Jane eagerly took the gift and opened it. Inside was a clear picture of Simon Evans and when he turned to the next page, he found a copy of his Idaho Driver's License. His name was Simon, but it was Simon Callahan. They had an address and it was in Ketchum. He just hoped that that meant that they wouldn't have to wait for much longer.

Christmas was closing in.

CBI Headquarters had already been festively decorated.

It was just a hop, skip, and a jump away.

"You're sure this is him?" Jane asked, looking back at Van Pelt.

"Pretty sure," she said. "I haven't shown Hightower yet. Evans was his wife's maiden name. Not sure how he got it on a credit card."

"Hopefully this will be enough for Hightower and the FBI," Jane said.

"Hopefully," she echoed. "I have to go show Hightower this now," Van Pelt said as she got to her feet.

"Thank you for sharing that with me, Grace," he said honestly as he got to his feet as well. "You did cheer me up."

"Good," she said with a smile before turning and heading for Hightower's office.

"Time for tea," Jane said as he headed for the kitchen-like area.

Hope started to fill his soul as he filled his teacup meticulously. Jane started to think about how Hightower would liaise with the FBI and soon enough they'd all be on a plane to Idaho. Wasn't exactly the most exciting place, but he figured that they'd at least have snow for a few hours. That would be somewhat festive. But bringing Lisbon home for Christmas would be far more festive as far as he was concerned.

The thought of Lisbon home brought a smile to his face.

Soon enough, she'd be back.

She'd be busting him for holding back information from her and she'd sometimes be an unwilling accomplice. They'd be back to solving cases and making Hightower happy in no time. Maybe he'd even participate in Van Pelt's silly Secret Santa idea. Of course, he'd be able to figure out who his Secret Santa was and who had everyone else as well… But it was supposed to be the fun of it, and he supposed that at that point he could probably participate in it. It would make everyone else happy.

He needed to think about gifts now. Though he'd rather just buy gifts for the whole team. The thought of bringing Lisbon home was really getting him into the Christmas spirit. He allowed the smile to remain on his face as he took his tea to his couch.

…

"We can't go on just that," Hightower said. "The locals and the FBI are going to check it out first. They're going to figure out if Simon Callahan still even lives at that address. If he still lives there, then we'll fly out. It'll only take a couple hours and the FBI has already promised to wait for us."

All his Christmas spirit, all his hope, all his happiness…it just pooled to his ankles and down into the floor like it'd never existed. How could they do this? He knew that Hightower didn't know Lisbon, she didn't know any of them, but he thought that cops were really firm on protecting their own even if they didn't know them. Hightower was more political than like Minelli. Minelli would have sent them there in a blink of an eye. He'd have made sure that they had Lisbon home after everything that they had.

"You're kidding, right?" Jane asked.

He had been surprised that Cho, Rigsby, and Van Pelt had remained so quiet. He didn't care if Hightower got mad at him. Someone had to say it. He noticed that Cho seemed irritated, as much as Cho's expression ever changed. Rigsby looked concerned and Van Pelt looked worried and upset. Jane felt all of that and more. He was angry.

"We have to follow protocol, Mr. Jane," Hightower said coolly.

"Really? You're going with protocol?" Jane asked angrily. "No one gives a damn about protocol right now. Van Pelt found the information. She found who this Simon is and where he lives. It brings us back to Ketchum, which was where the first postcard was mailed. Lisbon's been missing for how many weeks now? Do you even know? Do you even care?"

"Mr. Jane, you're out of line-"

"No! You're out of line!" Jane yelled at her and got up from his seat. "You don't know Lisbon. You just walked in and know none of us. How can you run this unit without even caring about your own?" Jane asked but before she could even respond, he stormed out and towards the elevators.

He was done.

He was done playing it Hightower's way.

He was done sitting on the sidelines.

He was done waiting.

…

Anger consumed him and Jane found himself not getting far. He'd gotten to the parking lot and had gotten into his car, but he hadn't put the key in or started the car before the tears had overcome him. His body was racked with sobs and his face found his hands. He shook as he cried. It was so hard. Today was the day of extreme emotions. He'd been so happy before and now…now he wondered if they'd ever get Lisbon back.

He knew what he could do. He knew he could get the money and fly there himself; hell he could probably drive there in no time. But what would happen when he got there? He knew the address. The police would most likely be watching the house. They wouldn't let him go on and get Lisbon on his own. He had no pull there.

A light tap came at his window.

Jane didn't want to lift his head. He had immediately thought that it was Lisbon. But he knew that once he lifted his head and looked over that reality would take over and the truth that meant that Lisbon wasn't there. He wanted it to be Lisbon. So badly. But when he looked up and over, he found a concerned team instead.

He hadn't wanted them to see him like this. Broken. Distraught. Weak. He wiped his eyes with his hands and rolled down his window. "I thought you were all busy," he said trying to sound as normal as possible.

"No, Hightower's busy on the phone with the FBI," Rigsby said. "She said that she'd let us know as soon as she knows something."

"We're going to find her, Jane," Van Pelt said quietly.

The concern on their faces was so apparent that anyone could have picked up on it. Jane didn't know whether to be embarrassed or accept the pity that they probably felt for him. He still didn't want anyone to see him like this.

"If Hightower doesn't tell us in the next two days, then we're going to go to Ketchum on our own," Cho said evenly. "We'll explain it to the FBI and they'll probably not care whether or not Hightower gave them the heads up that we were coming."

"You'd be risking your careers…" Jane pointed out.

"For Lisbon," Rigsby said. "I think it's worth it."

"And Kaydance Millary," Van Pelt added.

"We're agreed then?" Cho asked. "We'll give them a couple more days?"

"Christmas is this Saturday," Jane pointed out. He really wanted to have her home for Christmas. "I say that we give them until Thursday at the very, very latest."

"Agreed," Van Pelt said.

It was the closest compromise he could make. Jane felt guilty even saying to wait that long. That was still a few days off. He sighed and looked down. He wished that they knew if Lisbon was okay. If she was going to be okay when they finally got to her.

"Agreed," Rigsby said.

Cho just nodded.

"We need to do something," Jane said.

"What?" Rigsby asked.

"Her Christmas should be happy…merry…joyful… All that," Jane said.

"I'm not going home," Van Pelt said. "I'd be happy to help set up something."

"Team Christmas?" Rigsby asked.

"I'm in," Cho said.

"Good," Jane said and smiled just a bit. He just hoped that all their effort would be for good. He put the key into the ignition and turned it until the motor started up. "I should go," he said.

"Are you going to be okay?" Van Pelt asked.

Jane nodded. "We're leaving no later than Thursday, right? That's the plan?"

"That's the plan," Cho confirmed.

"Then I'm okay," Jane said.

…

TBC…


	10. Give me Strength

**Title:** Red Window

**Author:** Shannon – shannyfish

**Disclaimer:** I do not own "The Mentalist" or its characters, Warner Brothers and Bruno Heller do. This is merely for entertainment purposes only.

**Rating:** R (to be safe)

**Summary:** Sequel to "Suffering is the Best Punishment". With Lisbon gone, Jane leaves CBI to set out to find her and to kill Red John. He won't let Red John kill his family again.

**Warning:** adult themes

**Chapter 10 – "Give me Strength"**

**Author's Note: ** Okay, just an FYI to anyone who actually reads my notes. The next several chapters are going to be a lot slower. There were a lot of "a week has passed" in previous chapters, but the next chapters are going to probably be painfully slow as far as action goes, but that doesn't mean that they'll be boring ;) Just the best way to do them I think!

Suffering is the Best Punsihment Trailer - http: / www. mega video. com/ ?v = Q581AW2H

(take out the spaces for )

...

"_Each time we face our fear, we gain strength, courage, and confidence in the doing." _

_- Anonymous_

**Ketchum, ID**

Lisbon felt fear rise up in her as Simon pulled her by the arm and hauled her across the property. She hadn't even had time to get into boots or a proper jacket. She was in converse shoes and had on jeans and a long sleeve t-shirt. She didn't know how cold it was outside; all she knew was that there was a good layer of snow, which was now permeating the thin canvas of her shoes.

What was Simon going to do? If he did something to her, then who would be there to protect Kaydance?

The team was coming, she reminded herself.

Jane was coming.

She wasn't going to be there for much longer.

The elusive barn came into sight. It was far at the back of the property. Well, not at the very back, but far enough that you couldn't see it from the proper house. A hill of snow obstructed it from vision. Which only worried her further. What was Simon planning?

"Simon-" she started.

He threw open the barn door and pushed her in. Lisbon fell to the ground; she'd lost her balance and hadn't been able to recover her footing. She just stared up at him for a moment. He seemed irritated but she didn't think he seemed angry. Lisbon scooted back for a moment and then when he just stood there, she stood.

"People are coming," he said and held up two small remotes. They were both labeled. One said 'Teresa' and the other was labeled 'Katie'. "Now, you and Katie are going to stay in here for as long as it takes for them to leave, do you understand?"

Lisbon nodded.

"If you make a sound, then I'll push the button," he said.

And he did.

She fell to the ground as the pain coursed through her.

"If you try to escape, I'll push the button," he said.

And he did.

She panted and tried to breathe through the pain.

"If you do anything suspicious, I'll push the button," he said.

And he did.

And Lisbon felt like her whole leg was burning and that the rest of her body was tingling with residual pain.

"But if I push the button next time," he warned as he leaned down over her. "It's going to be both buttons. You don't want our daughter to suffer do you?" he asked.

Lisbon shook her head. She lay there quiet as she waited for the pain to subside.

"I'll be right back with Katie. When I get back at her you'll explain that it's a game," Simon said before leaving.

Tears fell from her eyes and she shivered. Shivered from the cold, but also from the tingly of the pain. She would have to protect Kaydance. She had to. She eventually pulled herself up to a sitting position and wiped her face. Her hands were cold and she feared that she'd be frozen by the time Simon came back for them. Her feet were already soaked from walking through the snow.

Minutes later, the door opened again and Kaydance came running in. Lisbon was thankful for the fact that the little girl was completely bundled up. A moment later, Simon entered and threw her jacket, gloves, hat, and scarf at her. He slammed the door shut and Lisbon heard it being latched. They were locked in.

"Daddy said we're playing a game," Kaydance said with enthusiasm.

She hated that he'd played on the little girl's weak relationship with her parents. Lisbon didn't waste any time. She retrieved her warm items and put them on. It didn't help her now freezing feet, but everything else was warmer, so that was a plus.

"I guess we are," she said, more to herself than to Kaydance. "We're going to hide out in here and be absolutely quiet, okay?" she said. Lisbon looked around. The barn had a loft area. She wondered if there was some kind of window or opening, so that she could see if anyone was coming their way. Turning to Kaydance, she crouched down. "I'm going to see if there's a good spot up there," she said pointing to the loft. "Right now, I need you to stay down here until I know it's safe, okay?"

Kaydance nodded.

"Good," she said with a smile and kissed her forehead. "I'll try to be quick." Lisbon tested the ladder for a moment before putting her full weight on it and then climbing it. Once she was at the top, she looked around. She didn't see anything useful, but she climbed so that she was fully into the loft area. It seemed stable enough. She moved towards the wall and checked it for holes. Even if it was a small one, she just needed to be able to peek outside.

She finally found one. Just enough to see out of. She ventured back down the ladder and instructed Kaydance to start up first. Lisbon climbed closely behind her just in case she slipped, she'd be there. They sat up in the loft in silence. Every few minutes, Lisbon would peek through the small hole. So far all she could see was snow.

Snow was not helpful.

Snow was only cold, solitary, and isolating.

Snow was not her team.

Snow was not Jane.

Snow meant that they were still there alone with just Simon.

Lisbon frowned deeply. She felt frustration and anger building up in her. She knew the consequences if she left or made noise and signaled any rescuers…she couldn't do that to Kaydance. Even though if there were rescuers they'd take care of Simon, but Kaydance would still have that scarring for the rest of her life. Lisbon wouldn't do that to her.

She wished she had a watch. Time seemed to crawl by…or maybe it was speeding and she just didn't realize how much time had passed? It seemed like they were out in that barn for the whole day. Her feet were freezing and she was thankful that that was the only part of her body that was.

Closing her eyes, she held onto her cross and prayed again. It gave her some strength to do that. To remember her faith. To trust in it. To have faith. It was hard, but at the same time it was comforting.

"What are you doing, Mommy?" Kaydance asked.

Lisbon opened her eyes. There was something that felt so right about the little girl calling her that, but at the same time she knew that there would be repercussions later. She didn't want her to be confused when they finally got back home and she'd have to return to the senator and his wife. "I'm praying," she said quietly.

"Why are you praying?"

"Because I'm hoping that God will somehow help us get home."

Kaydance frowned.

"What's wrong?" Lisbon asked.

"I like you as my mommy," Kaydance said. "Simon is sometimes a good Daddy."

She looked like she was going to cry. Lisbon pulled her into her arms and held her against her chest. "I know this is hard and confusing," she said quietly, feeling herself coming close to tears as well. "Your parents love you, Kaydance. They may not know how to be the kind of parents you'd want…but we can have a talk to them about that when we're home, okay?"

"Can I still see you?" Kaydance asked as she lifted her head so she could see Lisbon's face.

She saw the tears in the girl's eyes and fought to keep her at bay too. Lisbon nodded and stroked her hair. "And you can call me anytime. Things will be okay, you'll see."

"'kay," the girl said and hugged her tightly.

…

Kaydance had cried herself to sleep and Lisbon had worried that it was too cold. She'd check key places to make sure that her body was still warm. Soon though, she heard footsteps and when she'd peeked outside, she'd seen that it was Simon. Just Simon. Today wasn't her miracle day. Though, today she and Kaydance were safe for the first half of the day. That was something.

She heard the rustling at the door as he unlocked it, but she didn't move. She didn't want to start down the ladder with Kaydance until she knew someone was there in case she slipped. She waited as the doors opened and then she moved so that Simon could see them. Lisbon didn't need him to be angry or to start to freak out just because he couldn't locate them. "It was warmer up here," she said. "Heat rises and all that."

Lisbon wasn't sure if he bought it or not, but she was careful to move Kaydance so that most of her weight was on Lisbon's shoulder. She got onto the ladder carefully and then began down. When she got down, Simon took her. "I should probably put her in a warm bath really quick, just to make sure she's warm enough all over."

"That'll wake her up," Simon said.

"Better to wake her up and put her back to sleep than her getting sick," she pointed out.

"You're her mother, so I'll defer to you on this," he said as he started out of the barn.

It was a compromise, but it still broke her heart to try to keep herself from thinking that she was Kaydance's mother. She kept having to remind herself that it was a lie. It hurt. Maybe this was how people developed Stockholm's. But she had to admit that she thought that what Simon was doing was crueler. He was not only affecting her, but affecting Kaydance as well. And maybe she was a better mother to Kaydance than Mrs. Millary, but Simon couldn't be said to be better than Senator Millary. No, the girl deserved two parents who loved her and could take care of her. She'd just have to remind them of how special their daughter was when they saw them.

So, she took the steps to wake the little girl just enough so that she could bathe her. She had requested that Simon retrieve pajamas and such for Kaydance, that way she could dry her and dry her hair and put her right into dry clothes without her getting chilled again. Lisbon found herself easily accomplishing the task. It wasn't difficult, but…she wasn't the girl's mother. She wasn't a mother. She didn't know really how to care for a little girl. Yes, she'd helped to raise her brothers, but this was different.

She dressed her and then brushed out the now dry hair. She'd already brushed it several times during the process, but she just wanted to make sure all the knots were out. Lisbon took the time to braid her hair before finally carrying her to bed. She'd fallen asleep while Lisbon braided, which had made it a bit harder, but it had been done. Scooping Kaydance up, Lisbon held her close as she carried her to her room. She tucked her in and then headed across the hall to her room.

"Teresa," Simon said.

Lisbon stopped mid-hall to look in his direction. She was exhausted and cold and her feet still felt wet. "What Simon?" she asked, not masking her irritation. It had already been a long day and they hadn't even had lunch or dinner… It felt like midnight to her as far as she was concerned. The clocks were wrong.

"You did a good job. You know you're a natural mother," he told her.

He seemed genuine and honest enough, but she knew that Simon had more than one side. "Thanks," she said before heading into her room to retrieve her own pajamas. She'd take a hot shower and let the heat soak into her for a while. It would help to thaw out her feet. It would help her relax and she'd probably sleep in turn once she was out and dried and dressed.

Lisbon didn't say anything to him when she re-emerged from her bedroom. Instead, she headed right for the bathroom and locked the door behind her. At least she could have privacy in there. Of course, Simon had the key, but she doubted he'd bother her today. Not after she obeyed him and had stayed in the barn.

She turned on the water onto what she normally would set it on and stripped down. She removed the frozen socks and shoes and looked at her poor feet. She'd never considered frostbite, but her feet weren't the pink that the rest of her body was. She could move them, so she figured she was okay. Lisbon stepped into the shower and the coldest parts of her body screamed at the warm water. She turned it up so that it was hotter and allowed her body to soak in the heat and allowed the tears she'd been holding to fall.

Lisbon had wanted strength, but she didn't know if she had enough or if she could bear to be strong. She felt weak and lost. She felt useless and vulnerable. She didn't like feeling like that. She didn't like not having control. She let the tears fall and let her sobs ring out. She knew that the sound of the shower would buffer out any sounds.

Crumbled, she sat in the bottom of the bathtub/shower. She tried to let her pain and anger drain from her body through her tears and her sobs. But she could feel her strength wavering as well, the little she had left, it felt like it was melting away from her body and flowing down the drain. Lisbon felt like she was losing herself. Like none of it mattered anymore. She didn't feel like Teresa Lisbon. She felt like a shell. Empty. Lifeless. Broken.

She felt stupid.

She felt like she'd let everyone down.

She felt…she felt her hope in her wish for a miracle dissipating.

She tried to cling to it.

To hope.

To the possibility of a miracle.

To her team.

To Jane.

She felt it slipping and it only made things harder. She wrapped her arms around herself tightly and just held herself under the hot water. "They're coming," she whispered to herself. "Jane's coming," she told herself. Lisbon rocked herself and closed her eyes and repeated those thoughts in her brain.

…

She had hoped to find solace in her room. To be able to sleep and dream the pain away. To just sleep. To be alone. But her thoughts haunted her. Everything seemed to haunt her. There were no calendars at the house. She'd lost track of the day and how long she'd been there. How long Simon had had her. How long she'd been gone. She knew it had been more than a month… Was Simon even telling her the truth about how close it was to Christmas? She didn't know what she could trust when it came to time.

Her mind raced, going over every single clue she'd left. She went over all the times she could have escaped. She could have endured the pain of the shock anklet if it meant that she'd be home. Why didn't she? Why had she been so weak? Why had she put up with Simon?

Why hadn't Red John let her die?

Fresh tears sprung from her eyes and she turned her attention to the window. The red paned window. It was snowing again. She wished to see a face there. But there was nothing. Nothing but the snow. She heard a voice. Familiar. Haunting.

"Just hold on a little longer."

It sounded like Jane and she found herself looking around furiously for him. She was distressed, but also relieved by the voice. But when she realized that he wasn't there, fear further set in. She'd been there so long that she was starting to hallucinate. Great. That was just what she needed. Maybe it was low blood sugar? Maybe it was her time in the cold? Maybe it was just her exhaustion taking her over? Whatever it was, it made her question whether or not she should continue hoping.

What if no one ever found her and Kaydance?

What if this was the life that she needed to accept?

What if there was simply nothing else to do?

Hope?

"Give me strength, Jane," she whispered to the window and then closed her eyes and tried to sleep. The notion of it was easier to handle than trying to think anymore. Her mind only brought pain to her and she was done with pain right now. She needed the silent darkness of sleep. The silence brought her some comfort.

…

TBC…


	11. Running Interference

**Title:** Red Window

**Author:** Shannon – shannyfish

**Disclaimer:** I do not own "The Mentalist" or its characters, Warner Brothers and Bruno Heller do. This is merely for entertainment purposes only.

**Rating:** R (to be safe)

**Summary:** Sequel to "Suffering is the Best Punishment". With Lisbon gone, Jane leaves CBI to set out to find her and to kill Red John. He won't let Red John kill his family again.

**Warning:** adult themes

**Chapter 11 – "Running Interference"**

**Author's Note: ** Okay, just an FYI to anyone who actually reads my notes. The next several chapters are going to be a lot slower. There were a lot of "a week has passed" in previous chapters, but the next chapters are going to probably be painfully slow as far as action goes, but that doesn't mean that they'll be boring ;) Just the best way to do them I think!

Suffering is the Best Punsihment Trailer - http: / www. mega video. com/ ?v = Q581AW2H

(take out the spaces for )

...

"_If it takes my whole life, I won't break, I won't bend._

_It will all be worth it, worth it in the end._

_Because I can only tell you what I know, that I need you in my life._

_When the stars have all gone out you'll still be burning so bright."_

– "_Answer" by Sarah McLachlan_

**CBI Headquarters**

Time was slow and cruel. Not only had he had to suffer through coming to CBI everyday, but he had to live with the disappointment the day would bring. He was back to going out into the field, but nothing was getting solved. He knew Hightower was not happy about it, but he couldn't do anything about it. His unique skills were not going to function, not until he got Lisbon back. Sure, that probably seemed childish to Hightower, but it was his prerogative.

"Have we heard anything from the FBI or the Ketchum Police?" Rigsby asked.

Jane shook his head from where he lay on his couch. He'd seriously thought about sneaking into Lisbon's office, it was still her office even if they'd stripped it of all her things, and lay on her couch. Most people wouldn't look for him in there and on top of it, he couldn't be seen. On his couch, he was in the middle of everything. And he had to hear all the disappointing news whether he was ready to hear it or not.

"They're supposed to be going and investigating today," Van Pelt spoke up from her desk. "They called this morning and said that they'd let us know when they had anything."

"Waiting sucks," Rigsby grumbled as he made his way to his desk with a cup of coffee in hand.

Jane had yet to hear Cho say anything. He knew that he was sitting at his desk doing paperwork. He'd been doing so well running interference for him with Hightower. He was learning. It was good for him, even if Lisbon would be back soon enough to do it.

This was going to be how the day was going to be. It wasn't even quite lunch yet, but this was how the whole day would end up being. He wasn't the only one who was going to be unproductive. The whole team was going to be the same way, even Cho. He'd most likely not get everything he wanted done at the very least. Jane was sure that he really didn't care though, just like the rest of them.

"Who's doing the lunch order?" Jane asked.

He figured that changing the subject would be good for all of them. A distraction was a good thing sometimes. Sure, they'd still be thinking about it, but there was something comforting about good food especially when California was going through its own special version of winter. Today it was in the forties, but there would be no surprise if it was a hundred on Christmas day. California and its seasons was just special like that. Unpredictable.

"What?" Rigsby asked in confusion.

Jane noticed when he sat up that he'd caught Rigsby off guard with that question; there was now a coffee stain on his crisp white shirt. He just smiled. "Well we have to have lunch and are we really going to all leave the office when the FBI or Ketchum Police could be calling at any moment?"

He watched as they all thought about it. He knew that it would get them all in agreement. They'd eat together, which was always a good thing. He thought it helped further morale. Plus, he really didn't want to go outside at the moment to go somewhere to get food and he especially didn't feel like sitting outside in the cold. No, this way was much more beneficial for the team as a whole, even if some of his idea was out of selfishness.

"I'll go," Van Pelt volunteered.

"Food is good for the soul and all that," Jane told Rigsby who still looked confused. "Rigsby should go with you. Help carry things up."

Rigsby stared at Jane for a moment and then nodded. "I can go too."

"What are we having?" Cho asked.

Jane was surprised that Cho was finally talking, though this was good. Everyone was now participating in his plan. "Something good, but maybe not something so healthy for us," Jane suggested.

"You just described half the fast food within a hundred miles of headquarters," Cho pointed out.

Jane shrugged. "It's an idea."

"Something hot," Van Pelt said.

"How about fried chicken?" Jane suggested. "Biscuits, mashed potatoes, cole slaw, macaroni and cheese."

"I could go for that," Van Pelt said and looked to the others.

"Just make sure we get enough of everything," Cho said.

"Do we need drinks?" Rigsby asked as he got up.

"I think we should be good with what we have on hand," Jane said with a smile. "But good making sure that we'll be set."

Jane watched as Van Pelt and Rigsby left together. At least someone should be happy. Those two needed each other, even if they worried about the rules. Rules were just guidelines, weren't they?

"You enjoyed that," Cho spoke up.

"I did!" Jane said brightly as he got up and crossed the room until he came to Cho's work area. Jane pulled up a chair, so that he was close enough that no one else would overhear their conversation. "You know that if this is Red John and one of his minions that he will make sure that Lisbon and Kaydance Millary aren't in sight when that team searches, don't you?"

"I had thought about that," Cho said. "I looked up the property using Google map's satellite on that place. It's huge and there's a building a bit farther back on the property. I tried to get through to the agents in charge, but no one's returning calls. From Hightower, I'm not even sure if they're doing a search of the house itself. They may just be looking in windows and searching the property for all we know."

"Well, we know that they're going to try to identify this Simon character, right?" Jane asked.

"Right."

"That's a start, isn't it?"

"I suppose," Cho said. "But we don't have any evidence of Lisbon and the girl with Simon Callahan. All of the photos don't have him looking up. He looks down the whole time."

"Have I mentioned yet how much I hate protocol?" Jane asked in complaint as he leaned back in the chair.

Cho glanced at the clock and then back at Jane. "Not in the last hour."

"Well, now I have."

"Logged."

…

"We have good news and bad news," Hightower said.

"Of course, we do," Jane said in disgust.

Hightower glared at him for a moment before continuing. "They went to the house. Simon Callahan does live there."

"That sounds like good news," Van Pelt spoke up.

"They didn't find Lisbon or Kaydance Millary," Hightower continued.

Jane sighed. "He works with Red John. He's smart. He has hiding places."

"When they searched the house they found three bedrooms that were obviously lived in. One was obviously his, one room belonged to a woman, and another to a little girl." Hightower went on. "They managed to be able to acquire samples from both the woman's and the girl's rooms. Now, it won't be something we can use in court, but it'll give us peace of mind. They've put the DNA on rush, but it's still going to take time."

"Did they search the building that I contacted them about?" Cho asked.

Hightower frowned. "No. They apparently weren't aware at how far the property extended and didn't get their messages until they'd already left. They said that Mr. Callahan was helpful and that he didn't seem nervous."

"That doesn't mean anything," Jane dismissed it.

"I'm afraid that unless the DNA comes back matching Lisbon and Millary that we're going to have to give up on this lead unless the police spot him with either of them," Hightower said.

It was quiet. Jane watched them all. Hightower seemed calm and unchanged. But the team, there was tension and upset in the air. They'd all been at their table together even after lunch just talking, which had been relaxing and comforting and it had kept their mind off of Lisbon and the case. And now…there was worry and confusion and upset and so many other emotions on their faces.

"Thank you for passing on that information," Cho said finally.

Jane turned to him and could see determination in Cho's face. He was going to go through with their plan. Jane knew it. Though Cho mostly kept on his poker face, Jane had learned how to read the slightest change in his features. This gave him some hope, some strength.

"Where are Lisbon's boxes?" Jane asked.

"In storage," Cho responded quickly.

"How many are there?"

"Two or three."

"I'm going to need a couple of helpers," Jane said looking around the table.

"You want to take Lisbon's stuff out of storage?" Van Pelt asked.

Jane gestured towards Lisbon's empty office. "How do you think she'll feel when we bring her back and her office is empty?" He turned his attention to Cho. "You're not moving in there, right? Hightower's already offered it to you."

"She's practically thrown me in there," Cho said with his arms crossed. "It's Lisbon's office. This is my desk," he said.

"Good. Now that that's settled, who's helping?"

"I'll help," Rigsby said after a moment of hesitation.

"I'll help too," Van Pelt said.

"I'll help you get the boxes out of storage without alerting Hightower," Cho said.

This is why they were a team. They needed each other. They worked well together. They were a family. They may well be dysfunctional, but they were still a family. He grinned brightly at them all and then clapped his hands when he got up. "Okay, let's go! Field trip!"

"You know that Hightower will notice," Cho said.

"Just tell her that it's your stuff," Jane said. "But that you're easing your way into working in there."

"I'm so glad that you always have a story for everything," Cho said, his voice still even.

Jane just smirked and led the way. This was an excellent plan. This would just have to do until the DNA results came in from the FBI. He'd make sure that he harassed Van Pelt and Rigsby into calling and harassing the FBI lab techs on his behalf. They needed to know right away. If all else failed, there was always Thursday, which was quickly approaching.

…

Her office was put back together almost as if it hadn't been touched. Almost. Paperwork had been removed. But other than that, it was Lisbon's office. He'd gone through photos that they had of them all. Most of them were from the office and someone had snapped a picture and he'd found a good one of them all together. He'd gone out with Van Pelt and gone shopping.

The result of this shopping trip was a picture of the team in a new frame that he'd put on her desk. He knew that she had family, she had three brothers, but sometimes he wondered if they were the closest she really had to a family. And when he started to think about it, it seemed true for them all. Of course, Van Pelt had gone into the seasonal section of the store and had brought Christmas into Lisbon's office.

He watched in glee as Rigsby and Cho worked on putting up lights and garland around Lisbon's office windows. Van Pelt worked on putting up a small tree complete with lights and decorations. There was no way that Hightower would miss that they'd gone into Lisbon's office, but at least things were falling back into place.

Everything would be set when they brought Lisbon back. He hated to think of what she'd think if she came back to an empty office. The feeling that they'd given up. Jane didn't want her to be upset after they were rescuing her from a traumatic experience. He wanted it to be comfortable and comforting. And of course, the festiveness of it all was just an added bonus.

"It looks perfect," Jane said as he sipped his tea. He was currently supervising from the couch in Lisbon's office.

They'd look for her even if the CBI gave up.

Jane wasn't giving up.

He'd find Lisbon even if it took his whole life.

He'd find her.

…

TBC…


	12. A Day of Silence

**Title:** Red Window

**Author:** Shannon – shannyfish

**Disclaimer:** I do not own "The Mentalist" or its characters, Warner Brothers and Bruno Heller do. This is merely for entertainment purposes only.

**Rating:** R (to be safe)

**Summary:** Sequel to "Suffering is the Best Punishment". With Lisbon gone, Jane leaves CBI to set out to find her and to kill Red John. He won't let Red John kill his family again.

**Warning:** adult themes

**Chapter 12 – "A Day of Silence"**

**Author's Note: ** I know a lot of people have said that they've been tearing up or crying over the last few chapters and I can't promise that the following chapters will be any happier… You may want to keep tissue on hand just in case! Also, I really appreciate the reviews and comments, so thank you for that! I intend to bring this up until real time Christmas Eve or Christmas Day before posting those chapters. So, just something to be forewarned about. There should be at least a chapter put up a day though. I'll be flying home for Christmas, so I still should be able to have it all written by then. : )

Suffering is the Best Punishment Trailer - http: / www. mega video. com/ ?v = Q581AW2H

(take out the spaces for )

...

"_The best answer to anger is silence." - Anonymous_

**Ketchum, ID**

The morning came, but she'd only peeked out and then closed her eyes again when they'd met the sunlight. She didn't want to wake up, not if she had to meet the same days that she'd been living for over the past month. She couldn't bear it. Not another day. She just wanted to lie there and pretend to sleep some more. Let the darkness embrace her and let everything lift away.

She could hear Simon making breakfast and she could hear the television. It was a cartoon or so it sounded like one, so she assumed that Kaydance was awake as well. But she couldn't bring herself to move. She didn't want to continue with the charade. She wanted everything to be over with. If Simon or Red John was going to kill her, let it be done. If her team was coming for her, let it be done.

She'd given up on trying.

Lisbon felt tears threatening to fall again and just pushed her face into the pillow not caring if they fell or not. She was done pretending. She was done being afraid. She was done being hurt. There was no way to send anymore clues. Simon hadn't gone anywhere since they'd made the trip to Twin Falls. She had a feeling that he knew that she wouldn't try to escape because of Kaydance, and he was right. She hated that he was right. She wouldn't endanger the girl or be the one that was technically causing her pain. Lisbon had thought about it and since the anklets went off when Simon was gone only if they went past where the underground fence was, which meant that if they got far enough away from it that it probably wouldn't work anymore. There had to be a range, but she couldn't think of Kaydance suffering through that when she didn't even know if it would be a mere minute or if it would be longer.

She couldn't risk that.

And yet she couldn't leave Kaydance behind.

She was stuck.

And she felt like it.

So stuck that she couldn't get out.

She heard the door open and made sure that her eyes were shut against the pillow. She listened carefully as she heard footsteps. They were heavy. It was Simon. Kaydance would have called her 'Mommy' by now if she'd been there. Lisbon felt his hand on her back and she tried not to move, to react.

"Teresa…I've made breakfast," Simon said.

She just didn't respond, hoping that he'd leave her alone. She could still feel his hand there, stroking her back and she really had to try hard in order to not pull away from him. She didn't need to set him off if she could help it.

"You need to eat."

Silence.

"Do you not feel well?" he asked.

This was something that she could somewhat respond to honestly. She shook her head and hoped that he'd understand that she didn't feel well. And she honestly didn't. It wasn't that she was sick. Not physically anyways. She was sick of being there. She was sick of pretending. She was so sick of Simon. It made her ill to think of what Christmas Day would bring… It made her sick enough to have him touch her through blankets and clothing; she really didn't want him against her bare skin.

"Well, you should still eat something. Toast and applesauce at the very least," he said. "I'll bring it in for you and some water."

She just nodded slightly and rolled back over. He was going to leave her alone and that was what mattered. She didn't think that he'd allow herself to isolate herself like that until Christmas though. There were still a couple days left… He'd insist on having the perfect family on Christmas Eve and Christmas Day, there was no doubt about that. But she'd hide for as long as she could get away with it.

…

Simon had left to go grocery shopping and had left her and Kaydance home by themselves. Lisbon had come out of the bedroom and sat on the couch with Kaydance while she watched television. She didn't want the little girl to think that she was mad at her or anything. She just needed to be away from Simon and away from the pretending for a bit of her sanity.

"Can we go outside and play in the snow?" Kaydance asked.

Lisbon really didn't want to, but she knew that Kaydance was a little girl and she needed to get her energy out. It didn't do her any good to be coped up in the house all day long when she could be outside playing. "I guess we can," she responded quietly.

"Yay!" Kaydance exclaimed before jumping up and hurrying to her room.

"Make sure that you're completely bundled up. Gloves, scarf, and hat too."

"Okay!"

Lisbon sighed; this meant that she needed to get up. She needed to get up, get dressed, and play with the little one outside. She didn't feel like she had that much strength, but she pushed herself up to her feet just the same. She made her way to her room and several minutes later emerged to find Kaydance already waiting at the door for her. The little girl had her nose pressed against the glass window in the door staring at the snow. Lisbon had to admit that it was completely adorable and had wished that she had a camera to capture it.

"Let's go," Lisbon said as she pulled on the blue and green yarn hat onto her head. She probably didn't technically need it, but she figured she'd be less grumpy if she was really bundled and warm. She pushed open the door but allowed Kaydance to scurry out first before she followed. It had been snowing and there was fresh powder on the ground. Enough that it went up to your ankles when you stepped into it. She was thankful that they were both wearing snow boots today. Converse in snow was a really bad combination.

She mainly watched Kaydance work. She was trying to build a snowman, but she was having problems once she got past the base. Lisbon couldn't help, but smile in response to the girl's efforts. She moved forward and picked up some more snow and heaped it on top. "We've got to get some more on top and then we can make it look like a head," she told her.

After several minutes of work, they had something that resembled a snowman. Kaydance had said that she was going to go find some odds and ends to complete the snowman, so she'd sat down on the bench by the house. Lisbon stared out towards where she knew the road was. "Come on, Jane," she whispered.

"Why would I come from that direction? That's not sneaky at all."

She didn't move at first. She knew that voice and tone. She knew the direction it was coming from. "Where's the team?" she asked as evenly as possible.

"They're coming from that direction. They're not very concerned about being sneaky. And they're also bringing like an army-size law enforcement squad with them."

She smiled and turned to look at him. He was standing there. Patrick Jane. His face a bright smile. And he was wearing his normal navy blue suit and vest. The shirt underneath was a white with blue plaid pattern on it. She shook her head. "That's not really suitable for the weather up here," she told him.

He shrugged. "I'm not cold."

Lisbon got up from her seat and slowly approached him. Unsure if this was all real or not. She took a couple steps until they were just inches away. "You're late," she joked with a smile. Nothing could rain on her parade now. Not with Jane there and the team minutes away. She was going home for Christmas and Kaydance would go home to her family. Simon would put put away. Life would be good.

"Not yet I'm not," he said, a smile still firmly in place. "But I am at the same time."

She looked at him confused, but then didn't care about his confusing words. She flung her arms around him and felt his wind around her as well. "You don't know how much I've missed you," she said as tears were shed. She just wanted to hold onto him and for him to hold onto her. Lisbon didn't care if people saw, she needed this. She needed to be held and she needed to know that it was going to be okay.

"I know," he whispered. "I know that you were giving up. I know that you've been scared."

Lisbon pulled back and looked at him. "No…I wasn't," she lied.

"Liar," he said pointing a finger at her.

"I'm just glad you're here now."

"I'm not," he said.

"Yes you are!" she said and smacked him for good measure. "This isn't something to joke about."

"No, I'm not," Jane repeated. "Not yet…"

Lisbon just stared at him in confusion. "What do you mean? Are you going to tell me you're some kind of hologram?"

"Don't be silly. You wouldn't be able to hug a hologram…well unless maybe it was a sturdy hologram," Jane told her.

"What are you babbling about? Make sense, Jane!" she told him, unamused at his antics.

"This is all just a dream, Lisbon," Jane explained. "If I were here, do you really think that Cho would have let me come up here without a gun? Now, normally you're my gun…but look," Jane said motioning around. "No Rigsby. No Van Pelt. No Cho. No back-up."

Tears started to fall fresh down her cheeks again. "No, you're here," she insisted.

"I wish I were, Teresa… I wish I could be there to hold you and to tell you that everything is going to be alright, but I can't…not yet. But you know we're coming. We haven't given up. The brass are just being difficult." Jane frowned. "I have to go now. It's time for you to wake up."

"No!" she shouted. "Stay with me," she pleaded. "Stay with me, Jane!"

"I can't," he whispered before turning and walking away. After a few steps, he disappeared.

…

She woke up in tears, sobbing into her pillow. It had felt so real and yet it wasn't. It wasn't and that was what hurt the most. If only she could sleep all day and dream of being held…by Jane, not by Simon, the perhaps she'd make it through this awful nightmare. Maybe she'd make it home as a sane individual.

"Teresa? I heard you crying, are you okay?" Simon's voice interrupted.

Lisbon just shook her head and moved so that she was as far away from where Simon stood as possible. She just wanted to be left alone. Left to the silence and darkness. She couldn't move any farther from him as he rolled her back towards him and felt her forehead.

"You feel warm," he said with a frown. "I'm going to get a thermometer. I'll be right back."

She didn't want him back. She wanted him to go and not come back. She wanted to shoot him and make all the pain go away. Lisbon continued to cry and rolled back to her side. She didn't want Simon to come back and touch her. She just wanted to be left alone. But he came back and his hands were on her to check her. He put the thermometer in her ear and when it beeped he removed it.

"One-oh-one point three," he announced.

She didn't care. Lisbon didn't care how sick she was. She didn't care at all. All she wanted to do was to lie there and sleep. She wanted to be left alone. Why couldn't Simon do something as simple as that?

"You need to get into a tepid bath to get your temperature down," he said.

Lisbon shook her head.

"You either get up and do it or I'm going to have to carry you in there and do it myself, Teresa," he threatened. "Now, can you do it by yourself?"

After a moment, she nodded slowly and pushed back the blankets. She felt his hands on her and she cringed. How she hated his touch. He helped her up, though, and she allowed it only because she felt too weak to do it herself.

"We have to have you well for Christmas," Simon told her.

Lisbon ignored him and stood up. She waited for her full balance to decide to kick in before taking a step towards her dresser. She collected some things before heading out of her room, ignoring Simon as best as she could.

"Is Mommy okay?" Kaydance asked.

"She's just not feeling well," Simon said.

Lisbon had noticed that he had ushered Kaydance back towards the television. And it was probably for the best. The last thing they needed was for her and Kaydance to be ill. It was bad enough that she was so severely miserable. They didn't both need to be.

She locked the bathroom door once she was inside and then started to fill up the tub. She made sure that it wasn't cold, but that it wasn't hot either. Lisbon wished that she'd just been sick enough to sleep…though from how dark it had been when she'd gone by the window, it seemed like she'd slept through the day as it was.

Her clothes hit the ground and she stepped into the tub and then eased herself down into the water. She shivered a bit as she adjusted to the temperature. Lisbon moved so that she was lying on her side and that her head was just above the water. She allowed her head to be cradled by the rounded corner of the tub. Closing her eyes, she tried to wish herself away. At least it was quiet in the bathroom and the door was locked.

Why couldn't her dream have been real?

She felt like crying.

She couldn't.

Lisbon wrapped her arms around herself. She was too tired to cry and her eyes hurt too much. She'd done far too much crying already that day. She knew that it was highly possible that she was sick from stress of everything. And there was no question that she was stressed. She'd admit it.

The silence at least had been comforting. She scooted down just a bit more until her one ear was under water, her head still resting in the crook of the rounded tub corner. Her closed eyes shut out the light and she tried to think of better things. Better days. Things to come. And to push out the current reality of things.

…

TBC…


	13. Waiting isn't really in my Wheelhouse

**Title:** Red Window

**Author:** Shannon – shannyfish

**Disclaimer:** I do not own "The Mentalist" or its characters, Warner Brothers and Bruno Heller do. This is merely for entertainment purposes only.

**Rating:** R (to be safe)

**Summary:** Sequel to "Suffering is the Best Punishment". With Lisbon gone, Jane leaves CBI to set out to find her and to kill Red John. He won't let Red John kill his family again.

**Warning:** adult themes

**Chapter 13 – "Waiting isn't Really in my Wheelhouse."**

**Author's Note: ** I know a lot of people have said that they've been tearing up or crying over the last few chapters and I can't promise that the following chapters will be any happier… You may want to keep tissue on hand just in case! Also, I really appreciate the reviews and comments, so thank you for that! I intend to bring this up until real time Christmas Eve or Christmas Day before posting those chapters. So, just something to be forewarned about. There should be at least a chapter put up a day though. I'll be flying home for Christmas, so I still should be able to have it all written by then. : )

Suffering is the Best Punishment Trailer - http: / www. mega video. com/ ?v = Q581AW2H

(take out the spaces for )

...

"_Everything you want is out there waiting for you to ask. Everything you want also wants you. But you have to take action to get it." – Jules Renard_

**CBI Headquarters**

Thursday came and no one had stepped forward. In fact, Jane was starting to feel like they'd taken ten steps back. Christmas was only a few precious days away and he was determined to get to Lisbon whether or not Hightower approved of it. Today was the day that they'd agreed on. Cho had agreed on their plan and Jane knew from Cho's determination that he'd follow through on it. He didn't have to worry about him backing out.

It'd been raining off and on all day and so far, the team was basically working on wrapping up cases. So far, it was going well. Van Pelt and Cho were out making an arrest, which was splendid; it left only one case left for them to close. Cho had reasoned that them closing every case except Lisbon's and Millary's would mean that they were free to pursue those two cases. He doubted that Hightower would see it that way, but that was okay.

"Where's Agent Cho?"

Madeline Hightower. How he was hoping to avoid her until sometime after New Year's. Jane frowned at Rigsby and then tried to turn on his smile and charm as he turned in his seat towards her. Jane really didn't understand this woman. Everyone else in the CBI would go out on a limb if they had all the evidence for finding Lisbon that they had.

"He's in the field, Ma'am," Rigsby spoke up. "He and Van Pelt are arresting Robert Tanning for the murder of Carl Zieric."

"Closed the case?" she asked.

Jane nodded. "He killed Zieric when he realized that his wife wasn't going to actually leave him. She'd apparently promised Tanning she'd do so and he figured that she wouldn't be able to use her husband as an excuse if he was dead."

"That's merry," Hightower commented. "I want to see Cho once he's back."

"Yes, Ma'am," Rigsby said quickly.

"Have you received the DNA results yet from the FBI's raid on Callahan's place?" Jane asked.

"Not yet," Hightower told him. She turned and took a few steps before stopping and turning to them. "And don't think I haven't noticed Lisbon's office."

"If you'd have someone put her name back on the door, it'd be all set for her when she gets back," Jane said. "I'd do it but I think they used something other than a sharpie."

Hightower smirked at him and shook her head. "Patience is a virtue, Mr. Jane," she said before heading off.

"This isn't about being patient," Jane complained as he turned towards Rigsby. "This is waiting. Too much waiting."

"You really don't do well with standing still… None of us like it, but we have to follow the rules," Rigsby told him. "Even if that means we have to wait a little longer."

Jane turned to ensure that Hightower had indeed left the area so she wouldn't overhear what he was about to say. He turned back to Rigsby. "We had a deal. Cho agreed to it. If we don't hear something today, then we leave for Idaho." Jane sighed and shook his head. "Besides, waiting isn't really in my wheelhouse."

Rigsby smirked. "We sort of all know that. I'm surprised you've waited this long."

"I tried to do it myself, remember? I didn't get anywhere. I mean I spent a few lovely days in San Diego, but I didn't find Lisbon… I had no leads…" Jane said. He looked down and got quiet. "I need you guys."

"We need you too," Rigsby said just as quietly. "Whether or not any of us wants to admit it. We need each other. We're a family."

…

The second case was a bit harder, but things began to click as they relooked over things. Cho had recalled in two people in the case. Their stories were different and they were able to wrap up the case. The two suspects had worked together. They didn't think that anyone would realize that they knew each other.

So, with all their other cases closed, Jane rounded everyone up. He clapped his hands together and looked towards Cho. "So, when do we leave?" he asked excitedly.

"I have to book flights," Cho said. "We have to finish the paperwork on these cases."

"The paperwork will wait," Jane said.

Van Pelt shook her head. "We need to do this right. That way Hightower won't be looking for us for anything involving the progress of these two cases."

"Van Pelt's right," Cho said. "We stay late and finish the paperwork tonight. We'll order in pizza. I'll book the flights for tomorrow."

Jane really didn't like having to wait a whole other day, though they'd leave tomorrow…that really wouldn't be a whole other day. "Can we leave first thing in the morning?"

"I'll try for a flight around ten if I can," Cho said. "That way everyone will still be able to get some sleep. Also, make sure that they have enough layers. I checked the weather. Today we had rain and it was fifty-five degrees. In Ketchum, it snowed and it was between fifteen and twenty-nine degrees depending on the time of day."

"Chilly," Rigsby commented and shook his head.

He just finally nodded. Cho was right. Van Pelt was right. Rigsby was right. He'd have to deal with waiting even though he really didn't like it. "I'll order the pizza," he spoke up. This was going to be a long night. He knew that he could go home. The team would be doing paperwork. But he didn't like just going home and leaving them behind to do it. He liked to be there for morale support at the very least. Plus, then he'd know right away if there were any changes.

"It doesn't feel right," Rigsby said.

Van Pelt frowned. "We'll have pizza once we get Lisbon and Kaydance Millary out of Ketchum. Lisbon'll have pizza with us then."

Closed case pizza was a tradition with the team. They hadn't done it the last couple of cases. Lisbon hadn't been there. No one had even brought it up. But Rigsby was right, it didn't feel right to do it without her there, but then Van Pelt had a firm point as well. "We could always do something else?" Jane offered.

"No, let's do the pizza," Cho said. "If Hightower comes by, it may ease her mind if she thinks we're up to anything."

Rigsby nodded. "Makes it look like business as usual."

"Agreed."

"Okay, all agreed then. Pizza it is," he said before getting up and leaving to call in the order.

…

Their little pizza party was fun and it gave Jane time to forget for a moment that Lisbon wasn't there. It also seemed to cheer everyone up. Van Pelt being rather insistent had turned on Christmas music that flooded their floor. No one seemed to care, but Jane had a suspicion that that was because they were pretty much the only ones there. Plus, he doubted Cho would say anything and he knew Rigsby wouldn't.

"Do you guys mind if I go lay down?" Jane asked. "I'm probably not going to be able to sleep tonight." It was honest and Jane hoped that no one would mind.

"No," Cho said.

"You can go home," Rigsby said. "We have this covered."

"Rigsby's right," Van Pelt spoke up.

"No, I'm just going to go lay on the couch in Lisbon's office," Jane said. There were nods and then he headed off towards his destination. He noticed that her door's glass was still vacant of her name. He frowned. He wished he could do it. He'd seriously thought of using a sharpie, but then had abandoned the plan.

Entering her office was eerie. He half expected to see her at her desk doing her paperwork. She wasn't. There wasn't even paperwork on her desk. He scanned the room. He still thought that they'd done a good job. The tree was a nice touch. The team had started to put presents under it. They'd put off their gift exchange until Lisbon was present. It only seemed right. He didn't want gifts, all he wanted was Lisbon back. That would be more than enough for him. Sitting on the couch, he stared at her desk and tried to imagine her sitting there. He thought that perhaps it would help him relax.

Lying down, he looked towards her desk and tried to bring up memories. Memories of Lisbon working late. Doing paperwork and shaking her head at him. He smiled at it. He closed his eyes and allowed memories of Lisbon to fill his mind. They were close. So close.

Waiting sucked.

…

TBC…


	14. Christmas Eve

**Title:** Red Window

**Author:** Shannon – shannyfish

**Disclaimer:** I do not own "The Mentalist" or its characters, Warner Brothers and Bruno Heller do. This is merely for entertainment purposes only.

**Rating:** R (to be safe)

**Summary:** Sequel to "Suffering is the Best Punishment". With Lisbon gone, Jane leaves CBI to set out to find her and to kill Red John. He won't let Red John kill his family again.

**Warning:** adult themes

**Chapter 14 – "Christmas Eve"**

**Author's Note: ** Okay, I'm attempting to get some chapters done ahead of time in order to be able to post things when I have promised. Knowing my mother, once I'm there she'll hold me hostage in her car and I won't be able to get online ~_^ This is how she shows me that she misses me! That and she's probably done only HALF of the Christmas shopping since I usually help her with all of it. I have also made a handy dandy outline, which will keep me on track! :D Enjoy!

Suffering is the Best Punishment Trailer - http: / www. mega video. com/ ?v = Q581AW2H

(take out the spaces for )

...

"_That's what it takes to be a hero, a little gem of innocence inside you that makes you want to believe that there still exists a right and wrong, that decency will somehow triumph in the end."_

_- Lise Hand_

**Ketchum, ID**

Time was an evil thing. Lisbon had decided. She was pretty sure that she'd been there two months. Or close to it. It felt like so much longer. Though she was physically better, Lisbon still was literally hating life. It felt like doomsday was approaching with every tick of the clock.

It was Christmas Eve.

She knew that for sure. She and Simon had stayed up watching the news. It wasn't that she was actually interested, he had just insisted that they make as little movements as possible to ensure that Kaydance was sound asleep before getting everything ready for the morning. Simon had gone out and bought everything. Lisbon hadn't been allowed to leave the house, partly because she'd been so sick.

He had presents in his room along with wrapping paper and bows and candy and such. Lisbon wasn't excited. She also knew that he'd gotten a puppy. This was another reason the television was needed. It cancelled out any sounds that the puppy made. So far, Lisbon had noticed that it didn't make a lot and had wondered if it was because Simon had given it a good shock first. She hadn't missed the shock collar that had already been placed on it.

The puppy, she knew, was something that Kaydance would love, but also felt bad because she wasn't sure that it was something that she could keep once she went home. Lisbon was pretty sure that she'd figure a way out to convince the Millarys though. After all, what looked better than a Senator and his wife and child and a dog? She was sure that she could pitch it as it all looking good for him during re-election.

She stared at the caged pup. It was a Bernese Mountain dog puppy. She had to admit that it was absolutely adorable. It was a black and white ball of fur with brown highlights. It seemed content enough. She'd already heard Simon's spiel about how good the dog was. It was apparently a good breed for a family with children and it was a dog that liked the snow. Lisbon's only concern was how the dog would do when it got hotter, mainly because she was thinking of California and its sunny weather. Simon had said that they'd just turn on the air conditioner if it got that hot and keep a kiddie pool with a bit of water in it outside. She supposed that those same principles could be applied to living in California.

They'd waited until nearly two in the morning before Simon would allow them to actually set anything up. Lisbon was pretty positive that they could have started ten minutes after Kaydance had gone to bed. She had a feeling that Simon was using it as an excuse to have her spend more time with him. Since she had been running a fever a couple days before she'd been trying to not talk as much as she could. It was necessary though for her to speak to him occasionally, but she limited it.

Presents were wrapped while she sat on the floor. She'd pet the puppy every now and then, figuring that it probably made it feel better that it was getting some attention. Soon enough it would be Christmas morning and she'd have all the attention she wanted.

Christmas.

Lisbon felt herself slipping. She'd tried to keep from feeling so awful, from being depressed, but she could feel it tugging her back. She tried to let it go. Life was what it was. There was no way that she could currently change it, not without injuring herself and Kaydance. And that just wasn't an option.

It took two hours, but they had everything wrapped and under the tree. There were four stockings that were hung over the fireplace and that were all filled. One was for the puppy and was filled with toys for her. Simon had taken a sip of the milk and a bite of the cookie left out for Santa. With the puppy appeased with a rawhide bone, Lisbon and Simon cleaned up. They couldn't leave any evidence behind.

Lisbon had been throwing trash away in the kitchen when she'd felt Simon's hands on her. She'd pulled away and moved around him. His hand grabbed her wrist and held onto it with a tight grip. She glared at him. "Let me go."

"Come on, Teresa…" Simon said. "Let's have a glass of wine and go to my room…"

"No," she said a bit stronger than she'd meant to or realized she had in her.

"Tomorrow-"

"Tomorrow will come soon enough, I'm sure," she said. "Too soon."

He released her and Lisbon made a beeline for her bedroom. She was done with Simon. She was sick of him and his insistence on trying to get into her pants. Before she could close her door though, Simon was there. He had his hands on her and had her pinned to the wall before she could react. His hands where already on her skin, moving under her shirt and his lips were on hers. Lisbon tried to push him off of her, but he just pressed the weight of his body against hers.

"Relax," he whispered.

"Get off me!" she yelled. She didn't care if she woke Kaydance. She wasn't doing this. She already knew that she'd have to subject herself to it in probably less than twelve hours. But that was still time she had. She wanted that time.

"This is your life, Teresa… Accept it and let it happen," Simon said as he rubbed himself against her. "I know that being a wife and mother came suddenly and you need time to adjust to it, but you're being far too resistant… I didn't want to have to break you, but I will if I have to."

She felt panic rising in her, but then she told herself that she needed to think. To think clearly. Lisbon put her hands on his chest, brought her knee to his groin, and pushed him away. "I'm resistant because this is all a lie, Simon! All of it! You're just like Red John! Like all of his lackeys before you!" Lisbon had immediately moved away from him and backed up to her dresser.

Lisbon watched as Simon closed the door as he attempted to recover from her kneeing him. She knew that it would be effective, but she also knew that she'd be punished for it as well. She was preparing for the shock. When it didn't come, she prepared herself to fight with him. She could do it. If she could find the keys and the remotes then maybe she could get away.

"You think I'm like Red John?" he asked. He took a step towards her. "Is that what you want Teresa? I thought you appreciated living? We erased those scars…"

A shiver ran through her as she remembered. Red John had had her not once, but twice. She'd had her side cut open twice and she'd had her throat cut. She really didn't want to go through that again. Lisbon had actually seen the photos. They had scared the hell out of her. The pictures of her at the hospital that had been taken had gotten back to the CBI. The pictures of the tent that Van Pelt and Jane had discovered. The red smiley face drawn in her own blood.

"But if you just can't do this, Teresa…I understand. I do. I can find another wife…another mother for Katie…" he said darkly. He picked up a tube of lipstick. He'd bought it but she hadn't worn it more than once.

Lisbon watched, her back pressed against the dresser, as he uncapped the lipstick. It was a rose pink, just too pink for her. He turned to her wall and he started to draw the tell tale Red John smiley face on the wall, huge, in the pink lipstick. He dropped it and then turned back to her.

"Is that what you want?"

"No," she said as she shook her head. She had to stay alive. She had to protect Kaydance. Lisbon didn't move as he neared her. Maybe she could handle what she knew was going to come. She didn't welcome it. But she knew what the bigger picture was.

Simon moved forward and carefully began to unbutton her shirt. Normally when she wore the button up shirts she wore a sweater over it, but this time no sweater. Lisbon had wished she had so it acted as a shield. She just tried to force herself to allow it and breathe through it. Tears threatened to fall, but she kept them back. She felt a shiver run up her spine when he pushed back her shirt and his finger trailed along her side, where she'd previously been cut open twice.

"That's a good wife," Simon said. He leaned in and kissed her. When he pulled back, he unbuttoned his own shirt and then let it fall to the floor. He started to unbutton and unzip his pants next. He kicked off his shoes and then let the pants fall to the ground.

"Please, Simon," she tried to plead.

"Shhh Teresa," he cooed.

Lisbon closed her eyes and felt a tear fall down her face. His hands where at her pants and his body was pressing against her. She tried to move, her back had started to ache from being pressed against the edge of the dresser in the process she accidently stepped on his unprotected foot with her shoed one. Her eyes flew open. "I'm sorry," she immediately blurted out.

Simon brought his fist up and connected with her nose. Lisbon doubled over and her hands came up to her face. Her eyes let loose the tears. "It was an accident," she cried. And it was. She straightened and then pulled her hands away, they were covered in blood. She could see his face soften.

"Teresa…I didn't…I didn't mean to hurt you," he said quickly and tried to pull her to him.

"No! Don't touch me!" she said as she took the opportunity to move away from him and towards the door.

"Please, I didn't mean it."

"Neither did I!"

"Teresa…"

"I…I need air," she finally got out and managed to get the door open. She heard Simon's footfalls behind her as she headed for the front door. One hand was pinching the bridge of her nose in order to stop the bleeding. She opened it and Simon was right behind her. "Please!" she said turning to him. "Just let me be!"

"I'm so sorry…" he said.

And he actually looked sorry. "Please," she said a bit calmer.

"You need a jacket…"

"I won't be long," she promised. Lisbon started down the hill. She turned back and noticed that he'd shut the door. She allowed the tears to fall and the sobs to rack her body. She felt the icy weather chill her body and she realized that her shirt was completely open. She used both of her hands to button it up quickly, which just bloodied the whole front of the shirt. She didn't care.

When she came close to where the property came up against the highway, she just stared out at it. She knew now exactly where the underground fencing was. She wouldn't go too close to it. Lisbon coughed; she'd tried to breathe through her nose only to be reminded that she was in excruciating pain and that it was bleeding profusely. She looked down at the ground and noticed that her blood had formed droplets in the snow. She stared at it. They were forming a small circle at her feet.

She let her nose go again and looked down at her hands. They were covered in her own blood. Lisbon remembered the wall. She looked back at the little snow covered hill that she'd just come down. She knew it could be seen from the highway. She walked he short distance back to it. Putting her hands back up to her nose, she ignored the pain as she felt fresh blood coat them. She started with a circle. Big enough that it could be seen. She didn't need to make it huge…and she didn't need that much blood with how easily it was spreading in the snow. She repeated the process until the hill had a fairly good size Red John calling card smiley face.

How long had she been out there?

From the lack of feeling in her hands, she figured too long. She headed back up towards the house, holding her nose as she went. She was really going to have to clean up when she got into the house, but if she went right back then Simon wouldn't see the face. He wouldn't have any reason to leave the house now or anytime during the day.

Upon entering the house, she found a note on her bedroom door that said, 'I'm sorry'. She ignored it and went past it to the bathroom. Lisbon used her shirt in order to wipe some of the blood off of one hand so that she wouldn't leave bloody handprints on the light switch of the door. She got in, turned on the light, and locked the door. She had left a few prints, but she'd wash them down. She stripped down and set every piece of clothing into the sink. She started the shower. While she waited for it to warm up, she looked at her reflection. Lisbon was sure that she looked like a zombie or something. There were dark circles under her eyes, her pallor was a lot paler than it normally was, and the blood was all over her.

The warmth of the shower made quick work of the blood. Her nose though was killing her. It was far worse than the anklet. When it was obvious it wasn't stopping, she reached out and ended up fashioning some toilet paper into little rolled up things and stuck them up her nostrils. At least they would help stop the bleeding…she hoped. It had hurt to put them in place, but at least it would help. Carefully, she got out of the shower and then moved to the sink. Lisbon wrapped herself up in a towel and slipped the corner of an end in so that it would stay in place. She laid out another towel and put all of her bloody clothes on it. Taking a washcloth, she wetted it and then started to wipe everything down that had a red tinge. She'd even made sure she'd gotten all the blood off of her face. Wrapping up everything in the towel, she picked it up and then grabbed a box of tissues from next to the sink.

In her bedroom, she set the towel with the bloody clothes on top of the dresser under the window. She made a mental note to not let Kaydance into her room in the morning. Carefully, she changed into pajamas before venturing out to the kitchen in order to get an ice pack and hand towel. She needed it to keep the swelling down. She snagged a cup from the cupboard and filled it with water before taking everything back to her room.

Sitting on her bed, she stared out the red paned window for a moment before removing the lid to the Motrin. It was an anti-inflammatory and she really, really needed that at the moment. She took two with water and then placed the towel wrapped ice pack against her nose. She just hoped that she didn't look like a beaten wife when Kaydance woke up. She really didn't want the little girl having that as a Christmas memory. Lisbon had already thought up her cover story. She'd been walking to the bathroom in the middle of the night and had been half asleep and walked into the wall. Kaydance was like four; she thought the girl would buy it.

Though Simon was obviously affiliated with Red John, Lisbon was convinced that he knew right from wrong. That night had proved it when she'd seen the genuine look in Simon's eyes. So, she had that to cling to. She just hoped that maybe he'd remember his kinder and gentler side come several hours.

And she hoped that her message would be seen.

She sighed and realized something. It was Christmas.

Merry Christmas, she thought. New tears fell as she thought about her team and Jane. Merry Christmas.

…

TBC…


	15. Well, At least we get a White Christmas

**Title:** Red Window

**Author:** Shannon – shannyfish

**Disclaimer:** I do not own "The Mentalist" or its characters, Warner Brothers and Bruno Heller do. This is merely for entertainment purposes only.

**Rating:** R (to be safe)

**Summary:** Sequel to "Suffering is the Best Punishment". With Lisbon gone, Jane leaves CBI to set out to find her and to kill Red John. He won't let Red John kill his family again.

**Warning:** adult themes

**Chapter 15 – "Well, at least they get a White Christmas"**

**Author's Note: **

Suffering is the Best Punishment Trailer - http: / www. mega video. com/ ?v = Q581AW2H

(take out the spaces for )

...

"_We're so close to reaching that famous happy end._

_And almost believing this was not pretend._

_Let's go on dreaming for we know we are._

_So close, so close and still so far."_

"_So Close" sung by John McLaughlin (from "Enchanted")_

**Sun Valley Airport**

There was snow on the tarmac as they carefully made their way to the terminal. Idaho was a lot colder than Jane expected and he found himself pulling on his coat as he made his way towards the terminal. It was definitely chilly. The oddity of California weather was suddenly looking better and better.

They all had brought just a duffel bag with what they needed. They hadn't planned on being there long. Cho was supposed to meet with the FBI and they were supposed to get plans put together and put into action. Jane hoped to have Lisbon back tonight.

As they walked through the airport, Jane took in all the decorations. It was Christmas Day and quite early. Their flight had been cancelled the day before on account of weather. Jane still wasn't sure which end the weather was a problem. Of course, that's how it worked. Communication was not something that people liked to give out. Being informed would be far too much to ask for. Jane had simply been upset, but had followed the team's lead.

Now they were there. Not far from Ketchum, but at least they were in the right state. He followed the others through the airport. They were supposed to have two vehicles waiting for them. Jane just hoped that the vehicles wouldn't be a problem. They really didn't need anymore problems. He thought it was plain silly that everything had turned out into such a problem already.

…

**Ketchum Police Department**

When they arrived at the local police station, Cho had done all the talking. Jane didn't care. All he cared about was the end result: rescuing Lisbon…and Kaydance Millary. This was where the FBI had told them to meet up with everyone. He'd been examining their surroundings when he'd suddenly tuned into the conversation going on. The locals were not being helpful.

"What do you mean you don't want us here? This is the FBI's case. They gave us permission," Cho argued. "We're supposed to be meeting Agent Clark here. I put in a call to him when we landed."

"It's on own land. This is Idaho, not Cally-forn-ya," the officer said with irritation. "I don't care if one of your agents is involved. We have jurisdiction."

"The FBI has jurisdiction in cases that involve abductions that cross state lines. And we're talking about two, including a minor," Cho told him. "I want to talk to your superior."

"He's drinking his coffee right now," the officer said. "Best not to disturb him until he's had at least two more cups."

"I want to talk to him now."

"I'm telling you, he's cranky when he hasn't had enough coffee in the morning."

"I'll risk it," Cho told him.

Minutes later, Jane watched as Cho spoke with the local law enforcement. Jane thought he was a chief or something, but had tuned out once he noticed that this chief person was cooperating. Cooperation was good. He found a map on the wall. It was of the whole city and he walked towards it. He remembered the house was along one of the highways and looked along that route. There were some hilly areas. He didn't think that that would make things easier if they couldn't find Lisbon and little Kaydance right away. He just hoped that they were in the main house…and above ground.

…

About an hour later, Agent Clark showed up. Chief Millecar had already given them a conference room to use until the FBI agent in charge showed up. Jane was excited that he came with coffee and a tea for him. Apparently he'd texted Cho and had asked if they wanted anything. It wasn't the same as how he made it, but it was still welcome. The agent seemed honorable enough. Jane really didn't care too much. Obviously Agent Clark hadn't kicked them out, so that gave him points right there.

"I'm really sorry about the hassle you encountered," Clark apologized.

"Don't worry about it," Cho said. "We came here to get Lisbon and the senator's daughter. That's why we're here. We can deal with irritated locals as long as it means retrieving them."

Clark nodded. "I understand."

"Are you going to have a problem going in without having solid evidence that they're inside?" Cho asked.

It was a valid question. Jane knew that sometimes cops bent the law, especially when it came to avenging or helping their own, but they didn't know this agent. For all they knew he was a semi-by-the-book kind of guy. But so far, Jane had good feelings about Clark.

"We have evidence," Clark said.

"The DNA came back?" Rigsby asked.

"No one told you guys?"

Jane and everyone else shook their heads in response. This was news to them, but happy news. It meant that they were at the right place. Lisbon was close.

"DNA came back with positive matches to both your Agent Lisbon and Kaydance Millary. I was just waiting for you guys to show up so that we could start planning out the raid," Clark said. He rolled out a map of the area. It was just like the one on the wall that Jane had looked at before, except smaller.

"When can we go in?" Jane asked. It was Christmas Day. He was surprised enough that the agent showed up. He didn't know if they'd wait until the next day or if they'd be up for doing it on Christmas Day.

Clark was texting, but he looked up at them. "I'm letting my people know that we're going in around noon. Let's get it done today and get your people home. I'm sure you'd all like to have Christmas together. Even if you end up spending it in an airport."

Jane nodded. He didn't care that it was Christmas. He wanted Lisbon back. He'd go there himself and try to sneak both of them out if that was what it took to get it done. Of course, having guns was always nice. He didn't carry one, but that was why Cho, Rigsby, and Van Pelt were all there.

He sat back and let Agent Clark work with Cho, Rigsby, and Van Pelt on the plan of action. It was ten in the morning. It would be noon soon enough and he'd be able to see Lisbon. He'd hold her and tell her that he was sorry and that everything was okay. He'd kiss her forehead and promise her that he'd stay away so that she'd be safe. He wouldn't allow her to be seen as a target by Red John again. He could do that, just to keep her safe, even though it would hurt to be away from her.

The agent was pointing to various places on the map and Jane realized that they really weren't far from the house now. It was right outside of the main cluster of the town, but it wasn't hours away. It was just right outside.

They were so close.

And yet he felt so far.

…

TBC…


	16. Merry Christmas, Katie

**Title:** Red Window

**Author:** Shannon – shannyfish

**Disclaimer:** I do not own "The Mentalist" or its characters, Warner Brothers and Bruno Heller do. This is merely for entertainment purposes only.

**Rating:** R (to be safe)

**Summary:** Sequel to "Suffering is the Best Punishment". With Lisbon gone, Jane leaves CBI to set out to find her and to kill Red John. He won't let Red John kill his family again.

**Warning:** adult themes

**Chapter 16 – "Merry Christmas, Katie"**

**Author's Note: ** Happy Winter Solstice! :D Sorry I didn't get to respond to reviews today ~_^ I normally try to, but the internet at Denver Airport was being really annoying…that and they decided to play musical terminals with my flight! Thanks Jisbon4ever for catching my typo!

Suffering is the Best Punishment Trailer - http: / www. mega video. com/ ?v = Q581AW2H

(take out the spaces for )

...

"_Children will not remember you for the material things you provided but for the feeling that you cherished them." – Richard L. Evans_

**Ketchum, ID**

Lisbon stared in the bathroom mirror for a long while. Her nose had stopped bleeding around five in the morning. Now at eight, Kaydance was bouncing to open presents. She'd already screamed after seeing the puppy. Simon had said that she needed to wait to open presents until everyone was dressed and together. So, everyone was getting dressed. She had thought about putting on make up to try and attempt to cover the bruise that covered right below both of her eyes and her nose, but she had decided against it and had just told Kaydance her cover story. The little girl had suggested that she be careful and carry a flashlight around the house when it was dark.

It hurt, though. She tried not to touch it, but even the slightest touch made her feel like crying. But she was determined to get through presents at the very least. Kaydance had been so excited when she'd seen the tree and the presents and the puppy. Lisbon had felt no pain in that moment and had almost forgotten everything. Almost.

He'd gone out and bought them special dresses. They were both an iridescent green color. Kaydance's had a black velvet top but the skirt that started at the empire waistline was the green color. Lisbon's on the other hand hugged her body and didn't have any accents on it. She didn't want to wear it, but had. She wasn't going to upset Kaydance on Christmas.

This was so fake. It was almost laughable at how fake it felt. But she sat on the couch with Simon and watched Kaydance on the floor with the puppy. They seemed to hit it off just great, but Kaydance hadn't decided on a name for the pup yet.

Other presents were opened and Kaydance was delighted at all her gifts. Simon had gone out and bought her new DVDs, a doll, art supplies, books, and a couple of board games. With every gift she was more excited and happier.

"You still need to name your puppy," Simon said.

"I'm thinking about it," Kaydance told him with a smile.

Lisbon watched as Kaydance scooped up the puppy and held it in her arms like a little baby and rocked it. "She's such a good puppy." She loved how Kaydance just shone with happiness, it gave her some solace. Even though she had desperately wanted to get them both home for Christmas, it made her feel better that at least it would be a happy memory for her and that she was still able to celebrate Christmas.

The last thing that she wanted was to have her completely traumatized. Lisbon was okay with being the one that was traumatized and undergoing all the worry and stress.

Simon went to the kitchen and started breakfast. Apparently he'd gotten up early enough to do all the food prep for the dinner. They were supposed to be having ham and a bunch of side dishes. At least it would keep him busy for a little while longer, that gave her some comfort. She'd been trying to distance herself from Simon all morning and had tried to not talk to him.

So, she sat on the couch and watched Kaydance play with her puppy while Simon worked in the kitchen. "She's really pretty," Lisbon said. "Have you thought of a name yet?"

"No," Kaydance said quietly.

"How about…" Lisbon said as she thought for a moment. "How about Jane?"

"I like Jane."

Lisbon smiled. "She's certainly a sweetheart."

It still surprised her as to how well behaved the puppy was. That was good though and Kaydance seemed genuinely happy about it. She wasn't sure if it was the puppy that she would have chosen, but so far they seemed like a good fit.

"Daddy!" Kaydance said lifting up the puppy. "I'm going to name her Jane!" she said as she headed for the kitchen.

Lisbon turned to watch them. She would intervene if there was any need to do so. She didn't know if Simon knew who Patrick Jane was. Yes, he was obviously one of Red John's guys, but that didn't mean that they all knew who Patrick Jane was or how he fit into things.

"That's a great name!" Simon told her and then bent down and kissed her forehead. "Merry Christmas, Katie."

Kaydance turned; her face was lit up as she bounced back over with the puppy in her arms. "Mommy, can we go outside with Jane and play in the snow?"

"We're not dressed for snow," Lisbon said knowing that Simon would not be happy if they changed. It would ruin his perfect day.

"We could change."

"Tomorrow," she promised. "Tomorrow we can play in the snow all day. We'll make snow people and have snowball fights and everything, okay?" When Kaydance didn't speak up right away, she looked towards Simon. "You wouldn't happen to have a sled or a disk?"

"For the snow?" he asked.

Lisbon nodded.

"In the garage I think we have some stuff."

She turned back to Kaydance. "See. Tomorrow we'll have an all-day snow day. All of us."

"Okay…" she said slowly with slight disappointment in her tone. "I'm going to go show Jane my room!" Kaydance said before disappearing with the dog.

…

After breakfast, she kept waiting. She hated it. But she waited just the same for the event that she knew was coming, but that she desperately didn't want to endure. They'd turned on a Christmas special and had been watching it when Simon asked her to go with him. They told Kaydance to stay right where she was with the puppy and that they'd be back. Kaydance didn't seem to mind.

"Simon," she said quietly as he pulled her by her hand into his bedroom. He closed the bedroom and moved towards an armoire that was in the room. He opened the doors and instead of a television being in there was a box, it was about twice the size of a shoebox and had a rose print on it. He didn't speak. Lisbon watched from the door as he removed the box and then set it on his made bed. He removed the lid and she could see pictures inside.

"My first wife," he said as he pulled out a picture to look at it. "She was always so happy… She loved it here," he said as he stared at the pictures.

Lisbon was taking this as a good sign. Maybe he'd changed his mind. She could try to use this to her advantage. She took a step forward so that she could take in the picture. The woman had similarities to her. She had dark hair and light eyes. Lisbon wondered if that was part of the reason she was there. She looked like his late wife. "What's her name?"

"Aimee…" Simon responded.

"How did she die?"

"She was coming back from a doctor's appointment. Someone ran her off the road and then cut her open," Simon said. "She was six months pregnant at the time. We were to have a daughter…"

Things were falling into the place. This was why she and Kaydance were there. "You said before that you'd been here for five years alone…is that how long it's been?"

Simon nodded slowly. "I didn't want to live without her."

"You know that I'm not her… I'm not Aimee…"

Simon nodded slowly again. "I know," he said sadly and looked up at her. "And I know that Katie isn't my child that I never had… Aimee had always wanted to call her Dahlia." He put the pictures back and closed back up the box and returned it to its spot. "But you and Katie are my family now…which is why it's so important that you accept things… I don't want to hurt you, Teresa… I don't want to pump you full of drugs. I just want to love you," he said as he closed the doors and then turned around towards her.

Lisbon thought of things that she wanted to say, but bit her tongue. Simon would likely only be enraged by her comments. "Simon," she said, trying to stay calm. "Did Red John tell you anything about me?"

"I know that you were in charge of your unit. I thought that was quite impressive," Simon told her. "But that's all I know."

"I was raised in Chicago. I have three brothers…" Lisbon started to tell him. "My mother died when I was twelve and I had to raise my brothers because my father was too drunk to do it. I worked hard to get where I was in the CBI. There's a reason why I'm not married…why I don't have a child…"

"You have us now," Simon said.

Lisbon shook her head. "You don't understand, Simon. I was a mother already…to my brothers. I'm not ready to settle down…I'm not easy to get along with… And even if I felt like I was ready, I would probably take three steps back…just because the world is so screwed up. I've seen how ugly the world is and I've seen Red John's contributions to it. I know what he's done to women… Did you know that he killed a mother and her daughter? Do you really know what he does to people?"

"Only to those who deserve it."

"Are you going to tell me that you're condoning his killing of an innocent child?" Lisbon asked. She knew that for adults, things could be reasoned. But for a child? A little girl? She was an innocent. Jane's daughter had barely had time to live.

"I don't know what you're talking about…"

"It scares me, Simon…" she told him. "It scares me to know that that evil exists in this world and that he'd hurt anyone… A mother and her child…" Lisbon remembered waking up to the smiley face on her wall and she had to admit that it had been unsettling at first. She didn't know how Jane woke up to that fierce reminder everyday.

"You don't have to be afraid of Red John."

"Well, I am… Afraid of what he may do if I anger him…or what he may do to Katie…"

Simon shook his head. "You don't have to be afraid."

"But I am," Lisbon told him. "Of Red John and of you…"

"Of me?" Simon asked.

She could see the look of shock on his face. He hadn't expected that. Lisbon knew that it could have angered him, but more than anything, she hoped that what she was saying made him think. She could only hope that he'd think about it all. "You get angry, Simon… You're controlling and protective…" She looked down and spoke softly. "And I don't want to be here…"

"I'm just trying to keep you and Katie safe, Teresa," Simon said as he took a step towards her.

"Do you think this makes me happy?" she asked quietly, looking up at him. "I have to stay here all day. I have Katie all day. I'm not allowed to leave. I'm a prisoner. Katie and I both are. She needs to go to school and have friends. I need to do something and have friends. Katie may be happy now, Simon, but that won't last forever… You need to think about that."

"We all have each other-"

"That's not enough…"

"It could be."

Lisbon shook her head.

"If I let you both leave, you'd go back to California…"

"Most likely I'd find a way, yes," she admitted. "But could you blame us? That's where our family is…"

"You said you grew up in Chicago, isn't your family there?"

Lisbon frowned. "I have a family in California too. My team is my family. We look out for each other. I'd die for any of them."

"Your friend, Patrick Jane. He's the one who told Red John that he could have you…that I could have you."

"To save my life…" Lisbon took a step towards him. "If roles were reversed and Jane held my wife in his hands and he asked you what Red John had asked him. Would you have let me die or would you let Jane take me if it meant that I lived?"

Simon frowned. "I'd want you to live."

"I'm not happy, Simon," she said. "So…maybe you're going to have to medicate me if you insist on keeping me as part of your farce."

She watched him. He looked confused and torn. Lisbon was happy that at least he was showing another emotion…something that wasn't anger. Something that made her hope more for him to think things through and possibly let them go. Perhaps this could be her Christmas miracle. She just waited and watched him.

"No," he said. "You're going to be happy…you just need more time. You need to try to love me, Teresa… You need to accept that this is your home now."

"I can't…"

"You will."

…

TBC…


	17. Christmas Raid

**Title:** Red Window

**Author:** Shannon – shannyfish

**Disclaimer:** I do not own "The Mentalist" or its characters, Warner Brothers and Bruno Heller do. This is merely for entertainment purposes only.

**Rating:** R (to be safe)

**Summary:** Sequel to "Suffering is the Best Punishment". With Lisbon gone, Jane leaves CBI to set out to find her and to kill Red John. He won't let Red John kill his family again.

**Warning:** adult themes

**Chapter 17 – "Christmas Raid"**

**Author's Note: ** Happy Winter Solstice! :D

Suffering is the Best Punishment Trailer - http: / www. mega video. com/ ?v = Q581AW2H

(take out the spaces for )

...

"_Dreams, ideas, and __plans__ not only are an escape, they give me purpose, a reason to hang on." _

_- Anonymous_

**Ketchum, ID**

They'd set up their mobile headquarters outside of Simon Callahan's house. Of course, it was a good distance away and across the highway, but for Jane that was closer than he'd been in the last couple of months. So, he'd take it and he was grateful for it. The FBI that were there were being great hosts and seemed happy that they were there. They all knew how important it was for them.

"I have a team of my guys standing by," Clark explained to Cho, Rigsby, and Van Pelt. "They're going to go up and do some recon. Hopefully they can tell us how many people are inside and where they are. That'll make our lives easier. We may be able to extract your people easier than we're thinking."

"That would be nice," Van Pelt said.

"I know that I'd like to be able to get the child out without there being any guns or weapons drawn."

"Agreed," Cho spoke up.

Jane felt like they'd been there for so many hours already, but he knew it hadn't been that long. It was most likely anxiety building up coupled with the fact that their trip had been delayed. This wasn't where he had imagined he'd be on Christmas Day. He'd thought he'd be in California to start with and probably all alone.

"Who's in charge here?"

The voice made him jump and he'd noticed that the rest of the team had been caught by surprise as well by the all too familiar voice. He turned and found the owner of the voice behind him. Madeline Hightower was standing not more than a yard from him, bundled up in a puffy jacket with a fur trim hood. Damn. They were in so much trouble. He peeked back over at Cho, who looked frustrated. He didn't blame the guy, he was frustrated.

"I am," Clark responded. "You are?"

"Madeline Hightower, CBI," she introduced. "I'm their boss," Hightower added as she pointed them out. "And they were not given permission to come here."

"You didn't inform us of the DNA matches," Cho spoke up. "You said if it matched-"

"Agent Cho, it's Christmas Day. I'm sure you can imagine that I'd rather be other places. I've spent most of the morning in airports and on a plane. I didn't see my kids open any of their gifts and I have family expected over for dinner."

"If you leave now," Jane said. "You may still be able to make that dinner."

"Agent Lisbon-"

"Has been here for two months," Cho said. "I think that's long enough. I don't care what holiday it is. It's time to bring her home and I'm sure that Senator Millary and his wife would appreciate their daughter back."

"And it would be really good for the CBI to bring her home on Christmas," Jane added.

"Ma'am," Van Pelt spoke up. "Lisbon would do it for any of us."

"She's right," Rigsby said. "She's part of our family. She deserves to be out of that prison. It's taken us long enough to find her."

Hightower turned to Clark. "I assume you have a plan."

"I do," Clark said.

"So you're not going to try to order us to the airport?" Jane asked. He wasn't quite sure what she was up to or still what to make of her. All he knew is that she'd have to kill him in order to get him away from that place. To pull him farther from Lisbon.

"Not after we're all here," Hightower said. "Plus that bloody Red John calling card on the side of that hill was enough for me."

"What calling card?" Jane asked.

Clark frowned. "I was going to tell you. We saw it when we first set this place up. There's a smiley face drawn in what we can only assume is blood in the snow on the hill of the property." He turned around a laptop after calling up a picture so that they could all see. "It might be from your friend…"

"Lisbon has left enough clues," Van Pelt said. "We have to bring her home today."

"Working on it," Clark said. "As I was saying. My team will go in first and do some recon. Once we know what we're facing, then we'll go to phase two. We'll split up into teams and take the house from different sides. Hopefully we'll be able to pull out the girl first and without any problems or confrontation." Clark continued. "I'll have you three with different teams, but Mr. Jane I'm going to request you stay back until it's clear."

"I'm not staying here while you all go up there," Jane said.

"You have to stay back at the very least," Clark said. "That's the best I can do. I can't have you on the front lines when you're not trained and you don't carry a weapon."

"That's fair."

"What about me?" Hightower asked. "I'm here, I may as well help."

"You can come with one of our teams if you like, Ma'am," Clark said.

Hightower nodded.

…

"We're so fired," Van Pelt said as she leaned back in one of the chairs.

They'd grouped up away from everyone else. Especially away from Hightower. They needed the space and the FBI needed the space while Clark made sure that the recon team was ready to go on his orders. Jane was happy that at least he didn't have to worry about Hightower sending them home without Lisbon. He was pretty sure that she may have been surprised at them all refusing to do it.

"Even if we are, at least we're going to get Lisbon back," Rigsby said.

Jane just watched them all. He didn't think that Hightower was actually going to fire them all. He couldn't see her doing something so rash. He didn't quite know her yet, but he was pretty sure that that would look bad for her. To fire a team because they went the extra mile to bring home one of their own who had been held captive for months. At the very least, if it got to the papers Hightower would probably have to be reassigned or retire. He missed Minelli. He was more pliable.

"We'll be fine," Jane told them all.

"How can you be so sure?" Rigsby asked.

"Think about how that would look."

"Jane's right," Cho said. "The media would have a field day with a story like that. I'm sure she wouldn't want the press and the CBI wouldn't want it either. We made the right call. We all know that. And it's going to be worth it. Though, we may have official letters of reprimand put in our files. I'm pretty sure that it's worth it."

"It is," Van Pelt agreed.

Rigsby nodded.

He was happy that at least the FBI had been thoughtful enough to bring out easy-up covers so that they were somewhat protected from the snow. The chairs helped too, though Jane wouldn't have minded if they had brought a space heater as well. The FBI looked like they were well prepared for this weather, though so did Van Pelt and Cho and Rigsby…he was cold but not freezing. He'd be fine, but he couldn't wait to get Lisbon and then sit down for a nice cup of hot tea.

Soon, Jane thought. Soon, he'd be able to hold her and to tell her how sorry he was. Soon enough he'd be reunited with Teresa Lisbon. He didn't care if she hated him or loved him, he just wanted her back. Time felt slow right now, but he knew that it wouldn't soon enough…

It would all be worth it…soon enough.

…

TBC…


	18. Merry Christmas, Mrs Callahan

**Title:** Red Window

**Author:** Shannon – shannyfish

**Disclaimer:** I do not own "The Mentalist" or its characters, Warner Brothers and Bruno Heller do. This is merely for entertainment purposes only.

**Rating:** R (to be safe)

**Summary:** Sequel to "Suffering is the Best Punishment". With Lisbon gone, Jane leaves CBI to set out to find her and to kill Red John. He won't let Red John kill his family again.

**Warning:** adult themes

**Chapter 18 – "Merry Christmas, Mrs. Callahan**

**Author's Note: **

Suffering is the Best Punishment Trailer - http: / www. mega video. com/ ?v = Q581AW2H

(take out the spaces for )

...

"_You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You must do the thing which you think you cannot do." – Eleanor Roosevelt_

**Ketchum, ID**

Fear coursed through her. Simon had told her to stay in the room while he went and instructed Kaydance not to move. Lisbon had been feeling like her strength, faith, courage, and hope were all wavering the last few days…like she was weakening…she wasn't sure if she could go through with this. She knew that it was important in order to keep them safe, but it was still rape. It was still Simon violating her in the most intimate way.

Tears welled up in her eyes and her chest started to hurt as she struggled to breathe evenly. She knew that Simon wouldn't care if she was upset. He'd made that quite clear. He believed that he was protecting them…that she would eventually love him as he loved her. Lisbon would rather die.

But she had to do it.

She had to do it to keep Kaydance safe.

She had to do it to keep herself alive.

The tears released and streamed down her face. Why weren't they there? Where was Jane? She'd given them clues. Hadn't they received them? Hadn't they understood them? Weren't they looking for her? Didn't they realize how much time had passed? Had they given up?

Simon returned and she just kept her gaze down and remained still. He moved towards her and ran his hand along her arm. He kissed her forehead and then her cheek. Lisbon felt sick. She felt like she could throw up right now. She breathed through it. Thoughts ran through her head. Thoughts to try to help her get out of the situation. None of them seemed like they were one hundred percent effective. There were too many unknowns.

"I could give you something to relax you, Teresa," he whispered.

It was tempting.

He probably had something that would make her blackout. That was really tempting. If there was ever a time where she could choose to forget a moment in time, this was it. But at the same time, she didn't know if she'd hate herself for blacking out either. Kaydance was still in the house. She was close by, what if she needed to be conscious?

"No…" she whispered.

"Just a little something," he said. "Just enough so you're not so tense."

She watched as he moved to his dresser and opened the top drawer. He removed a small box, which he opened. She didn't want to be foggy. She wanted to have a clear head. Lisbon just waited. Simon was going to do what he was going to do. She knew that. There wasn't too much she could do about it.

He turned around and brought the syringe to her and then he leaned in and kissed her. "I know you're worried," he whispered. His free hand came up to her face and pushed back tendrils of dark hair. "This will make you feel better."

She tensed up, feeling his hand on her thigh as he pushed up the hem of her dress on one side. The prick of the needle soon followed. Lisbon stared at him and tried to remind herself that she had to do this, not for Simon but for Kaydance's well being. "I know," she whispered. And it was partly true. She didn't know what he was giving her, but she hoped that she wouldn't remember…and that she wouldn't be in pain. She wished to sleep.

Simon put the syringe securely away and then returned to her. "I know that you want to go back to your old life, Teresa." His voice was quiet and soothing. "But I can be a good husband to you, Teresa…you just need to accept things… Okay?"

It wasn't long before she felt her energy being zapped. She felt weak and like there was a possibility that she wouldn't be able to hold herself up. Lisbon hated to feel like she wasn't one hundred percent. She hated to be weak, to be vulnerable, and to be taken advantage of. She nodded a bit and just stared at Simon as she felt the affects of whatever he'd injected her with.

"You feel a bit more relaxed?" he asked.

She just nodded again. Her eyes felt heavy, but she wasn't tired. Her whole body felt like just lying down for the whole day. Her legs felt as if they weren't strong enough to hold herself up and she was afraid that she'd fall over. Her mind even felt a bit tired. Lisbon tilted her head a moment and then worked very hard on getting out what she wanted. "Simon…maybe-"

"Shhh…Teresa," he cut her off.

His hands were on her again, pulling her towards him. Lisbon had to admit that his hands felt good, like she was being supported. His mouth was on hers before she'd realized it. His hands roamed her body. She wanted to scream and cry…but she found only a tear rolling down her cheek. His mouth was on hers again and she could feel his hand at her back as he pulled down the zipper of the dress. She tried to push him away, but her efforts only ended up in her putting her hands against his chest.

The green dress fell to the floor and pooled around her feet. Simon pulled her closer, so that her skin was against his still clothed body. He swayed a bit with her in his arms. He kissed her cheek and whispered into her ear.

"Merry Christmas, Mrs. Callahan."

It brought chills up her spin. Was this what she was going to have to live with? Being this fictitious person? Teresa Callahan? Loving wife to Simon and mother to Katie? She didn't know how he could live in this world of lies that he was building. It wasn't real. The sad thing she thought was that him holding her as he swayed made her feel so good, but Lisbon was blaming that on the drugs he'd pumped into her. She was weak and vulnerable and he was taking advantage of the state he'd put her in.

She found herself being laid down on the bed. He was being gentle with her and Lisbon thought that that almost made it worse as she lay there in simply her bra and panties. But the knowledge that now she wouldn't fall over because her legs couldn't support her was comforting.

"See…you're so much more relaxed now," Simon told her as he watched her for a minute. Though he didn't waste time as he started to undress himself.

This was going to be it. There was no getting around it. There was no running away or screaming. This was the event that she'd be fearing. She wanted so badly to be sick right there and then. She wanted to scream and cry and to fight.

There was no more fight left in her.

The only thing she could do now was to submit to Simon and do it as an act of protection for Kaydance. This wouldn't ruin her life, she could cope with this event…she could go to counseling…she was an adult and she'd make sure that this wasn't a defining moment of her life. Kaydance was still so young and though children were resilient, Lisbon preferred to shield her from the violence and anger that she knew Simon was capable of. Of what she knew Red John was capable of.

The image of the face on her bedroom wall flashed before her and she shivered at the thought. The thought of what Red John would do if Simon failed in making his little fantasy a reality. Yes, his fantasy was sick and twisted in a way, but all he wanted was what he'd lost. She could sympathize with him, but that didn't make it right. But it also meant that she had to suffer a bit more so that she and Kaydance wouldn't end up dead with the cutting markers of Red John. She wouldn't allow that. And she knew Red John was capable of killing an innocent, he'd done it to Jane's daughter.

Jane.

Tears flowed from her eyes as she thought about him. She squeezed her eyes shut. Why wasn't he there? Where was her team? Had she been forgotten? Lisbon knew how much time had passed and it scared her. Scared her to know that she may have to give in completely to Simon until he possibly trusted her enough to the point where she could escape with Kaydance. But how long would that take?

Months?

Years?

"Shh…" came his voice. "You don't have to be scared, Teresa… I'm not going to hurt you."

His voice was soothing and calming and yet she was mad at him for his tone. Lisbon didn't want this. She didn't want this and he knew it. It fit into his plan, but that didn't mean it was right. Before he'd told her that he wouldn't force her into anything…and here he was again trying to…and this time he'd promised to follow through.

"I love you," Simon told her.

Her tears were wiped away and her eyelids were kissed. His lips moved to her forehead and soon enough she swore he'd kissed every inch of her face. His forehead rested against hers and she coughed up a sob. She was pathetic and weak. Lisbon knew then that he'd already begun to break her. That wasn't her. She was so much stronger…

"Open your eyes."

She ignored him and kept them shut. She tried to hold back the next surfacing sob, but it broke through. Her body felt even more drained as she allowed her sobs to continue. Her face was kissed again.

"Open your eyes, Teresa," he said again; this time she knew his tone was sterner.

And so she opened them.

He was staring down at her. It didn't make her feel better. It made her even more terrified of what was going to happen. It made it an absolute reality.

"Please," she squeaked out.

"Shhh…"

Simon's hand swept back up to her face and pushed away all the tears that had been falling. He kissed her forehead again. His eyes were confusing as she attempted to read what was behind them. She could see what she thought was love, but then she could see worry and confusion there too. And she knew, that Simon was thinking about if what he was doing was right or wrong.

She wanted to scream that it was wrong.

But she had a feeling he already knew that.

Simon was sane enough to still know the difference between right and wrong…and so far he'd chosen wrong. Lisbon still believed that there might be a chance for him to choose right. She hoped and prayed that he did. For both of their sakes.

"You know I'm not going to hurt you. I love you," Simon told her. His hand caressing her cheek. "I can give you some more stuff if it's going to help you relax a bit more," he told her. "You just have to relax, Teresa, and remember that everything is going to be fine. This isn't going to be a bad experience unless you make it that."

No more drugs, she thought immediately. If he was going to give her more then perhaps he might have thought to give her Rohypnol.

"Do you want more?"

She shook her head. She didn't think that she could wake up and look in the mirror and accept that she may have lost several hours of her day because of it. She watched him, he was still deciding. Lisbon shivered a bit from the cold. Simon's body was close to hers, but their skin wasn't touching and she was lying there very close to being naked uncovered.

"You need to relax then," he said. "But I'm going to get some ready…just in case you want it."

He was gone from her side before she could respond. She didn't want more. But she watched as he filled up another syringe with a dosage. He capped it and then set it on the bedside table closest to her before slipping back so that he was next to her.

"Simon, please…" she tried again, just barely getting it out.

She would never take advantage of a nosey neighbor again. If they were in California in any place that was populated, she'd have been found the second day. She'd have been able to scream or slip a note out or just be seen. She was sure her face had been all over the media when she'd first gone missing.

"Shhh… Relax, Teresa… Just relax."

His lips were on her again and his body pressed against her.

Fresh tears sprung to her eyes and she tried to focus on the ceiling. She tried to push out the thoughts of him touching her and how even though the touch of his skin on hers warmed it, it made her sick at the same time. She tried to think of being somewhere safe. Somewhere far away.

…

TBC…


	19. Christmas Painted Red

**Title:** Red Window

**Author:** Shannon – shannyfish

**Disclaimer:** I do not own "The Mentalist" or its characters, Warner Brothers and Bruno Heller do. This is merely for entertainment purposes only.

**Rating:** R (to be safe)

**Summary:** Sequel to "Suffering is the Best Punishment". With Lisbon gone, Jane leaves CBI to set out to find her and to kill Red John. He won't let Red John kill his family again.

**Warning:** adult themes

**Chapter 19 – "Christmas Painted Red"**

**Author's Note: ** Happy Christmas Eve!

Suffering is the Best Punishment Trailer - http: / www. mega video. com/ ?v = Q581AW2H

(take out the spaces for )

...

"_It will have blood; they say, blood will have blood. _

_Stones have been known to move and trees to speak; _

_Augurs and understood relations have_

_By maggot-pies and choughs and rooks brought forth_

_The secret'st man of blood. What is the night?"_

_- William Shakespeare (Macbeth)_

**Ketchum, ID**

The recon team took a lot longer than he'd expected. Jane had thought that they'd take ten minutes; the team took closer to an hour. He stood when everyone else did and made his way over to where Agent Clark and Hightower stood. He stood back with Cho, Van Pelt, and Rigsby.

"We started at the back where the isolated building is," the recon leader said. He pointed to where it was on the property map they had posted. "The barn is empty, doesn't look like it's used often."

"Did you test the blood?" Clark asked.

The recon leader nodded. "It's definitely human, not animal. There's a trail of blood that leads from the house to that smiley face. Whoever left it was most likely injured."

"Can you guess from what you saw exactly how bad the wound was?" Hightower asked.

"I wouldn't say bad, Ma'am, but I am recommending we have two ambulances and some EMTs standing by," he said.

Clark nodded.

"Why?" Jane spoke up. If he thought it was just a minor injury then there was no need for so many ambulances. He could see having one on standby as a precaution.

"Please let me finish. I'll explain it all," the recon leader requested.

He was irritated, but Jane complied. Jane watched as Clark went off to use his phone to call in the medical help that was requested. So, he stayed quiet and waited for the rest to be explained. He didn't want to be responsible for delaying their extraction.

"The garage is detached from the house. It holds a single car," he said as he pointed to the building on the map. "No one's in there. When we go to raid the main building, I suggest that we secure the garage door."

Jane tried to stay patient. It wasn't easy. He wanted to scream for the recon leader to get on with it. He wanted to know why they were ordering two ambulances. He wanted to know if they'd seen anything useful. He wanted to know if Lisbon was safe.

When we surveyed the house, we found the child in the front room watching television," he said as he pointed out the room on the house plans that were posted. "This room," he said as he paused. "It's the one that has a weird red window pane. We found a smiley face on the wall along with a pile of towels and women's clothing covered in blood piled on the dresser. No one is inside that room, though."

Red window.

The house with the red window.

"This room with the red window,'" Jane spoke up. Red window. Lisbon had included that on a postcard. She was here. They were close. "Was the face draw in blood?"

"No."

"Are you sure?"

"It looked like pink lipstick," he said and then continued. "The room across from it is empty too. There's an adult male and female in the back room."

"There an immediate danger?" Hightower asked.

"No that we saw. I just like to be prepared, Ma'am," the recon leader said. "There was enough blood to be concerned. We didn't see weapons, but like I said, we like to be prepared."

"So, we'll pull out the girl first," Clark spoke up. "The recon team will go in first again just to ensure no one's moved. Team one, you'll be on extracting the girl."

They'd been broken into teams while they'd waited on the recon team to return. Hightower was team one. He and the others made up teams two and three. They were to go in after Lisbon and Simon. But that meant waiting. Jane really didn't want to play the waiting game. It felt horrible since they were so close.

But the blood nagged at him. The blood trail. The blood drawn face in the snow. The bloody clothing. The fact that they believed that the face drawn on the bedroom wall in lipstick gave him some solace, but at the same time the fear and dread welled up. He'd seen too many Red John cases. He'd seen the victims, not just from pictures but he'd stared down at their dead lifeless eyes as they stared back up at him. He didn't want to go in there and have green eyes staring up at him in that same fashion.

He couldn't bear it.

"We head up there in five minutes," Clark said. "Recon team, you have a go to re-scout the main building."

Jane watched as the recon team scurried off. He kept with the others. They were all putting on their vests and he found one being shoved at him. Jane took it and started to put it on. He was sure that it was just standard procedure. He wasn't going to be carrying a gun, but technically they didn't know if Simon had a gun or guns in there. The last thing they needed was for anyone to be shot.

"You okay?"

He looked up to see Van Pelt along with Rigsby and Cho staring at him. She was so concerned all the time. He appreciated it, but right now, he felt like everyone's concern should be with Lisbon and Kaydance Millary. "I'm fine, thank you though, Grace," he said as politely as he could manage. He knew his voice was quieter than normal, but he was thinking about what would be happening. He wasn't really concentrating.

"He'll be fine," Cho said.

"In an hour, we'll have Lisbon back and the girl. Two cases solved. And we'll still have her back for Christmas," Rigsby said. "I vote for getting home as soon as possible. We may be able to still get home for dinner."

"No, the last flight out of here left about thirty minutes ago," Cho said. "We're spending Christmas in Idaho."

"At least it's a white Christmas?" Van Pelt offered.

"At least we'll all be together," Jane said. He thought that that was the most important thing. "Even if it's Christmas spent eating Chinese food in a hotel room. We'll be together and that's what really counts." And it was true. None of it was going to matter if they didn't have Lisbon with them.

"You're right," Van Pelt agreed with a smile.

"Not sure about the Chinese," Cho said.

Jane just smiled brightly at that. "Well, I think we'll let Lisbon choose." He didn't care what they ate as long as they were all together.

The radio crackled to life. The recon team relayed that everyone in the house was still in the same rooms. Jane looked towards Agent Clark for the word for them to go. It was now. Now was the time where the waiting was finally over and they were going to go up to the house. He'd be just several yards from Lisbon.

"Let's head up there," Clark spoke up.

As Jane looked around, he noticed that everyone had vests on. They pretty much were all uniform. They were a navy blue with yellow letters that said FBI. He figured that it was more of a hassle for them to have to bring the ones that said CBI for the team when they were travelling by plane. You would think that you could bring on as many carry-ons being with law enforcements, but you still had to adhere to all of TSA's and the airline's rules. He thought that that was still kind of silly.

Though FBI or CBI or nothing. None of the yellow letters mattered. All that mattered was what they'd do next.

He kept close to his team. Hightower was much father ahead of them, but Jane didn't care. She was there to make sure that Kaydance Millary got out without any problems and then that case would be done with. Hightower would be happy, possibly happy enough to ignore their infraction? Jane wasn't sure. Technically, they were solving two cases and bringing an agent home and making a senator happy.

So, they headed across the highway and to the Callahan property line. They hit the snowy hill and Jane wondered if he was standing where Lisbon had at one point. He was relieved that at least it wasn't snowing. He'd heard Clark discussing it. If it had been snowing, they'd apparently most likely have re-scheduled the raid. So, Jane was quite thankful that the sky hadn't decided to dump fresh powder. Also, he really wasn't enjoying the colder temperature.

Making it to the house was an amazing feeling. Jane's stomach was knotting and worry was rising in him, but the recon team was standing by and team one was in place. It looked like things were going well enough. He stayed back. Back with his group. He wasn't going to risk doing something he wasn't supposed to and being dragged back to the mobile headquarters they had set up across the highway. He wanted to be there. He wanted to be there to see Lisbon and be there to help in any way he could. He was happy to know that at least they could both be seen. That there would be no looking for trap doors or hidden entrances.

They waited at the side of the house, teams two and three. Team one advanced and Jane could barely hear it when they opened the doors. Before he knew it, they were moving quickly back down the hill. Hightower was carrying a dressed up Kaydance Millary and she seemed to be covering the girl's mouth. Of course, Jane figured that it had to be necessary. They couldn't have her screaming and causing a scene. Simon could come out with a gun that they never knew about and agents and the child would be in danger. Lisbon could even fall into harm's way. At the very least, the girl looked fine, just confused and upset. He didn't blame her though. How could she not be confused?

So, he waited and watched as team one quickly disappeared back down towards where they came. He was sure that they were taking her to their temporary headquarters for safe keeping. That way she'd be out of the way and at the same time she could be looked at and talked to. How he wished that he could see Lisbon…his patience was wearing thin. He waited behind Rigsby and Van Pelt. Cho was farther ahead. He didn't want to compromise anything, so he figured that if he stayed towards the back he couldn't screw anything up.

Jane watched as they signaled and as everyone started to inch forward towards the door. He followed suit but really kept his eye on the others. He wouldn't be a distraction or a liability. He'd be there for Lisbon once Simon Callahan was cuffed. He'd be there in any way that she needed him. He'd even leave if she asked. But now…now they were finally going to get Lisbon.

She was coming home.

…

TBC…


	20. A Christmas Miracle

**Title:** Red Window

**Author:** Shannon – shannyfish

**Disclaimer:** I do not own "The Mentalist" or its characters, Warner Brothers and Bruno Heller do. This is merely for entertainment purposes only.

**Rating:** R (to be safe)

**Summary:** Sequel to "Suffering is the Best Punishment". With Lisbon gone, Jane leaves CBI to set out to find her and to kill Red John. He won't let Red John kill his family again.

**Warning:** adult themes

**Chapter 20 – "A Christmas Miracle"**

**Author's Note: ** Happy Christmas Eve!

Suffering is the Best Punishment Trailer - http: / www. mega video. com/ ?v = Q581AW2H

(take out the spaces for )

...

"_When you love someone, you open yourself up to suffering. That's the sad truth. Maybe they'll break your heart, maybe you'll break their heart and never be able to look at yourself in the same way. Those are the risks. The thought of losing so much control over personal happiness is unbearable. That's the burden. Like wings, they have weight, we feel that weight on our backs, but they are a burden that lifts us. Burdens which allow us to fly." _

– _Dr. Jack Hodgins ("The End in the Beginning" – Bones)_

**Ketchum, ID**

"Shh…"

Lisbon was so sick of him trying to get her to calm down. She'd tried. It wasn't possible. There was no way she could be completely calm in this situation. A situation she didn't want to be in. She wasn't loud, she knew she was quiet, there was no way that anyone who was standing on the other side of the door could hear her. No way that Kaydance would hear her cries. With the television on, it would muffle even louder cries. She sucked in breath and turned her face away from him.

"Come on, Teresa," he cooed. Simon moved her face so that she was looking at him again. "I told you, you need to relax. Everything's going to be just fine. You just have to relax and let everything go."

She could feel him pressing against her along her body. There was softness and there was hardness. He was rubbing against her leg and she desperately wanted to knee him. She knew though that that wouldn't go over well. For either of them. And there was no way she could get away or defend herself in the sad state she was in. She moved her legs, trying to move herself away from him, but his body kept pressing against her.

Reality was quickly setting in, this was it. This really was it. She needed to accept it. She had agreed to it. She'd told herself that she could do it even though she didn't think she could. She had to go through with it. She had to do it…and eventually it would pay off when Simon trusted her enough to allow her more freedom. Lisbon wondered if this was one of those instances where women using their bodies for sex could really sway a man in their favor. She didn't need much leeway, just enough to get away and take Kaydance with her before Simon could catch them or hurt them.

He leaned in closer to her face and kissed her and forced her into deepening it. She tried to cooperate, to go along with it…for her own sake…but she couldn't bring herself to it. She felt his hand along the side of her thigh, at her knee and moving upward in a slow caress. Lisbon stopped breathing for a moment and then allowed the sob to rise up in her throat. Tears escaped her eyes again. His hand moved her leg out so that his body could move into the empty space. She felt his hands on the waist of her panties and she squeezed her eyes shut.

Make it stop, she thought.

Make it stop.

Don't touch me.

Leave me alone.

Go away.

Stop it.

No.

No.

No.

There was a loud crash and then all of a sudden the weight was pulled off of her, but all around her was filled with a thundering of sound. A mixed sound, dozens of voices. She didn't dare open her eyes. No, it was a dream. She had obviously passed out or was good enough at trying to push out what was happening that she was dreaming. It was a good dream. She'd heard both "FBI" and "CBI" yelled.

"Let me go!" Simon yelled.

She couldn't open her eyes though. Lisbon was too terrified that it would all melt away and she'd wake to Simon on her and inside of her and all over her…his hands on her and his lips. She didn't want that reality. She wanted safety. She wanted to go home.

"Lisbon."

"Leave my wife alone!" Simon continued to yell.

Jane. She knew the voice, but she didn't open her eyes. She couldn't. Fresh tears continued to flow down her cheeks. She felt herself being covered up and someone being close to her. She let out a sob.

"You can open your eyes," he whispered.

His voice was so beautiful and so welcoming. But she still couldn't bring herself to opening her eyes. She couldn't do it. Not when she would go back to the nightmarish reality with Simon. She'd rather just hear the hallucination.

"He gave her Atvian," a man said.

Lisbon didn't recognize the voice and tilted her head slightly.

"Not sure how much he gave her," the voice continued.

"The EMTs are coming up to us," Rigsby said.

"Clear the room!" Jane said.

"Let me go! She's my wife!" Simon yelled.

There was silence for a moment and then she heard shuffling. The door closed and she sucked in breath. She didn't know whether to be scared or relieved. Jane was still there though, she could sense him. She sniffled a bit as she thought about how he'd be gone when she finally did open her eyes. There was no way that she could stay like that.

"You can open your eyes," Jane told her. "He's gone. The FBI's got him. Cho and Rigsby are making sure that he gets to their vehicle for transport. He can't hurt you anymore."

"I wish I knew you were real," she finally blurted out and started to cry in full force. Her chest hurt. She found herself opening her eyes without meaning to. She just stared at him through her blurred vision. He was there. She could see him. Lisbon carefully reached out to touch him. He felt solid enough. "Jane?" she whispered barely audible.

"I'm here…"

She sniffled and tried to wipe her face. She felt a bit more lucid, but still sluggish. Words felt easier, but she didn't know if that was just because for the first time in so long…she felt relief and happiness wash over her. "You're late," she told him as she continued to use her hand to wipe her face. She felt silly crying like that. She knew she had to look like hell. She didn't like people seeing her like that. Vulnerable. Weak. Exposed. She was supposed to be strong.

He smiled at her, but he seemed sad. "I know," he said quietly. His voice broke, she didn't miss it. "I'm sorry…" And then he was crying too. "I'm so sorry…" His head bowed and his hands held one of hers tightly. He squeezed it with every sob. "Forgive me…" he whispered and then looked back up at her.

She just stared at him for a long moment. She was trying to process what he was saying. Processing everything that had happened. She tried to sit up and then remembered as the sheet that he had covered her with began to slide down that she was practically naked. She held it up to her neck and stared at him. Lisbon still felt the affects of the drugs in her system. She hated that feeling.

"Why would I need to forgive you?" she asked. "You haven't done anything wrong."

"Lis-Teresa…it's my fault… All of this," he continued. Tears still fell from his eyes. "I told Red John to take you… I'm the reason why he's come after you in the first place. I will leave and never come near you again if you ask me. I'll understand and respect that…"

She shook her head as she tried to find the words. "No…no I don't want you to go… Jane, we're a family…you were trying to protect me. To save me. You made a hard choice. I don't blame you for any of this… I blame Red John…and Simon," she said as she swallowed hard. "Don't you leave…"

He smiled up at her. His smile was still sad. "Please, I need to know you forgive me…"

There was something in his eyes. She couldn't quite place it. It was like a mixture of everything in the world that hurt…everything that provoked a feeling of guilt and regret and sadness. It all floated in Patrick Jane's blue eyes. "I forgive you," she whispered. "Though you're still not to blame," she told him and reached out to touch his face.

There was a knock on the door. She moved her gaze towards it and found Van Pelt peeking in. Lisbon looked back to him and then suddenly realized that she'd heard Rigsby before and that Jane had mentioned Rigsby and Cho. Her team was all there. She hadn't seen them all, but they were there. They were there to take her home.

"Jane, the EMTs are here," Van Pelt said.

"I need clothes," Lisbon mumbled.

"I'll get you some," she said. "But they really want to look you over first."

Lisbon nodded. "Van Pelt? Can you do me a favor or two?"

"Of course."

"Can you gather up the gifts in the front room. The ones that Kaydance opened and put them together?" she asked. Her head was clearing a bit. Lisbon wondered if it was a temporary thing. If her system was pushing adrenaline through and giving her a moment of clarity. "Wait…Kaydance…she's okay right?" she asked as she turned to Jane. She hadn't heard the girl before and she hadn't seen her.

He nodded. "She's fine. We took her out and to safety before we came in for you."

Lisbon nodded and then turned back to Van Pelt. "She deserves to have some kind of happiness from this Christmas. And can you make sure that the puppy goes too?"

Then it hit her. The puppy. Kaydance. She felt the heavy reminder on her ankle. The underground fence. Kaydance could be throwing a fit and they wouldn't be wiser. "Simon has a key… It was around his neck…it releases the anklets on my ankle and Kaydance's. If we go past the underground fence at the property line it sends out a really big shock…"

"I'll be right back," Van Pelt said and then ran off.

Worry rose in her, but Lisbon knew that they would be okay. They'd be okay now. They were going home. They were saved. She looked over to Jane, she heard the EMTs enter but she ignored them. "Will you make sure that Kaydance gets a jacket? They probably didn't take a jacket for her…"

"I'll get it," Jane promised. He looked past her for a moment and then back to her. "I'm going to go just long enough to make sure that Grace gets that key and that the jacket gets to Kaydance. Are you going to be okay?"

"The dog has a shock collar on it too," Lisbon said. She felt tired again. Her eyes felt heavy. She held onto his hand and honestly didn't want to let him go.

"I won't be far…" he said quietly. "Let them look you over, Teresa…" he whispered.

She nodded a weak nod. He moved away from her and she reluctantly gave up his hand. The EMTs descended and she faded away into the darkness.

…

TBC…


	21. California Christmas

**Title:** Red Window

**Author:** Shannon – shannyfish

**Disclaimer:** I do not own "The Mentalist" or its characters, Warner Brothers and Bruno Heller do. This is merely for entertainment purposes only.

**Rating:** R (to be safe)

**Summary:** Sequel to "Suffering is the Best Punishment". With Lisbon gone, Jane leaves CBI to set out to find her and to kill Red John. He won't let Red John kill his family again.

**Warning:** adult themes

**Chapter 21 – "California Christmas"**

**Author's Note: ** Merry Christmas! :D Glad everyone's been enjoying this! I MAY write another Mentalist fanfic :D We shall see! Sorry this is a lil late…I actually have been battling a sore throat and sleep deprivation ~_^

Suffering is the Best Punishment Trailer - http: / www. mega video. com/ ?v = Q581AW2H

(take out the spaces for )

...

"_Love doesn't hide. It stays and fights. It goes the distance, that's why love is so strong. So it can carry you all the way home." - Anonymous_

**CBI Headquarters**

"You should probably be at home resting," Van Pelt said as they walked in.

They'd spent the previous evening in a hotel room eating pizza together with Kaydance Millary...and her puppy. They'd flown back that morning and they'd dropped off the girl and her puppy with her parents. Jane was surprised and amused that the puppy was named Jane. He was sure that Lisbon had suggested it. He was worried about her. The EMTs had said that she looked fine, but she'd been almost completely silent since they'd gotten to her. The most vocal she'd been was with the senator and his wife. She'd made sure that they knew how lucky they were and how happy Kaydance was about the puppy. She'd even gone on about how they needed to make sure that it got a little pool and that they kept it in air conditioning when it was hot.

There was no doubt in Jane's mind that she'd make a great mom. He didn't think that that was part of her plan, but he knew that she'd be a fierce mother and that she'd love a child with all her heart. The only problem that probably faced her was her job. And he could understand how her job and whom they dealt with could make her nix that option.

It was sad really.

"I'm fine," Lisbon said.

She was quiet. He frowned and followed along. They'd ordered in Chinese. They were going to open presents and have lunch there. Lisbon had insisted. She had wanted to do paperwork, but they'd all agreed when she wasn't around that they'd do Christmas and lunch and that the paperwork could wait. She'd been through enough already.

So far, they'd done an excellent job of avoiding Hightower. Lisbon had seemed shocked when she'd been informed that Minelli had retired and that Hightower was his replacement. He kept an eye out as they made their way from the elevator towards her office. He smiled at the lights that were lit. He didn't know who'd turned everything on, but he appreciated it.

Jane watched as she smiled, it wasn't a huge smile, but she was still pleased and then she paused. He looked at the door, her hand was on the handle, but she was staring at the naked glass. He frowned and watched as her face dropped.

"My name's gone…"

"They're re-doing it," Rigsby lied quickly.

"No…"

"They'd re-doing the names on all the doors in the building," Rigsby told her.

"The first floor still has the same lettering that it had before," she pointed out.

Jane sighed. Sometimes Lisbon was just too smart for her own good. He didn't want her to be upset or depressed. Her mood was already heading that way. He had hoped that this would cheer her up and that's not what it was doing right now.

"Is this still my office?" she asked as she turned to them.

"Yes," they all said in unison.

"Cho?"

"They offered it to me, but I declined," Cho told her honestly.

Damn him. Jane glared at Cho, who merely shrugged in response. He knew that she'd be upset about it. They'd even put everything back. But she opened the door and entered her office. He hoped that the fact that things were in their places would help her. She needed to know that they hadn't given up on her, that she was still accepted, and that they were still a family.

"You know that all these lights and this tree weren't here before," Lisbon told them.

He brightened a bit when he saw the smile on her face. Jane gestured for her to sit on the couch, but she continued to look around. Rigsby and Van Pelt found spots on the floor and set the box of Chinese food down as well. Cho stood off to the side but then pulled the chair from in front of her desk and sat down. Jane made himself comfortable on her couch and watched her as she checked out her desk. He was concerned, but so far he figured that she was okay. She would be. He had confidence in her. He noticed that she stopped and then she picked up the frame he'd placed there.

"This wasn't here before…" she said quietly.

Worry racked him as he watched her face. She looked like she was going to cry. "No, it wasn't," he said. "But I figured that you needed a picture of your family here," Jane said, he tried to make sure that his voice didn't break. He felt upset to see her so upset. He'd hoped that it would make her happy…not sad.

She nodded, but kept the tears back. Lisbon set down the frame and then returned to them. She sat down next to him and leaned against him. Jane felt a wave of relief. She was still acting odd, but he knew that was to be expected. The most important thing was that she was there. There with them. Safe and sound.

A knock came at the door and Jane frowned as he saw Hightower standing there. He got up after looking quickly over at Lisbon. She looked scared and small and that scared him. Jane got to his feet and walked to the door. He opened it but stepped outside of the office and closed the door behind him. He turned to Hightower. "She says she'll do the paperwork and stuff, but really…she needs to enjoy something…she needs to relax."

"I understand your concerns, Mr. Jane," Hightower said. "But I do need to actually talk to Agent Lisbon now if she's to be re-instated into the CBI. And I have to do it today if she wants to be back on by the beginning of the year."

"You're going to give her time off, though, right?" he asked.

Hightower nodded. "I'm planning on all of you taking time off until about the second week of January. You can all come back and start fresh together."

Jane nodded. "I'll get Lisbon," he said. He reached for the door but then turned to Hightower. "Thank you."

She nodded.

Re-entering her office, he looked to Lisbon. "Hightower has to talk to you."

Lisbon nodded and got to her feet quietly. She walked slowly to the door and then was out there was Hightower. Jane watched anxiously from the couch. He just hoped that Hightower didn't scare Lisbon or upset her. He didn't want what was left of the holiday to be ruined. Hightower looked stern and Lisbon looked like a scared child, but she nodded a lot. And then Hightower was gone and Lisbon stood there for a moment by herself before returning to her office and her couch.

"What'd she say?" Cho asked before Jane could.

"I can have my job back, but I have to be cleared medically and psychologically first," Lisbon said. "And we all have until the tenth of January off."

"We in trouble?" Van Pelt asked.

"Why would you be in trouble?" Lisbon asked.

"We weren't supposed to go to Idaho until Hightower said we could," Rigsby said. "And we went without her say so."

Jane frowned. He didn't want Lisbon to think that no one had been looking for her. That none of them cared for her. Because that wasn't true. They all cared for her. She was part of their family. "Well, I won't mind the time off…" Jane spoke up.

"It'll be nice," Rigsby agreed with a nod.

"Why don't we start with presents?" Van Pelt said. There was a small mountain of gifts that had slowly accumulated under the tree.

"No," Lisbon said quietly. Her head was down. "I didn't get anyone anything yet…"

"You're the best gift we could have asked for, Boss," Rigsby said and there were a lot of nods.

Jane loved it when she smiled. She lit up, just a little. Just enough to give him some reassurance that things would be okay. He really was glad that Grace had taken the time to decorate Lisbon's office for Christmas. It made things more special. He watched as Van Pelt moved closer to the tree and started to hand out presents. Jane hoped that this would raise Lisbon's spirits, at the very least he hoped that maybe she'd talk a bit more.

He watched as everyone else started to open their presents, he kept an eye on Lisbon. She unwrapped her present and produced a brightly colored scarf. Jane watched her and seemed both surprised and happy with her present. "That's pretty," he told her. And she smiled at him.

"You haven't opened yours," she pointed out.

…

It was late. Lisbon had still insisted that they all did their paperwork. So, he'd sat in her office as she'd gone over what had happened with an officer. "You shouldn't stay here all night," Jane said. She'd already been debriefed in Idaho by the FBI. He didn't understand why the CBI had to talk to her too. He didn't see why the FBI couldn't simply forward Hightower their interview and reports as far as Lisbon was concerned.

"You don't have to stay," she said without looking up at him.

He hated how she sounded. Her tone was all wrong and she didn't give him any irritated looks. He hated the thought that perhaps Lisbon was broken. Jane frowned deeply as he continued to stare up at the ceiling. "I'm not going to leave you here all alone. Rigsby and Van Pelt left hours ago. Cho left about forty-five minutes ago."

"My car is here," Lisbon reminded.

"You're not driving yourself…not until you're definitely feeling one hundred percent," Jane told her. He was worried about her driving, mostly because he was afraid that Red John would take advantage of her on her own.

"Jane, please…don't do this…"

He could hear her voice crack. There was immense sadness there. He looked over to her and saw her head in his hands. He felt bad; he hadn't meant to upset her. Sitting up, he turned and stared at her. "I only want to protect you, Lisbon," he said honestly.

"I've been protected for two months now, Jane," she said.

Lisbon's head didn't leave her hands. Jane felt guilt rising up in him. She wouldn't look at him. He got up and slowly made his way to her side. He crouched down and swiveled her chair so that he was kneeling before her. "Teresa," he said quietly. Reaching out, he pulled her hands from her face. Her face was red and puffy, especially her eyes. It made his heart break. "I'm sorry…" he whispered. His hand went to her cheek as he stared at her.

"I was there for two months and I wasn't allowed to do anything on my own. I was surprised that he'd let me shower by myself," Lisbon told him. "I just…I want to be me… I want to be the Teresa Lisbon who works for CBI."

"That's been you all the time," he told her.

She shook her head and looked down. "No… Simon broke something inside of me… I'm not that same person."

He could see it in her eyes that she believed that. It made him sick. Yes, he'd thought that she was broken in some way, but she believed that if she was broken then she could be fixed. "You're not giving yourself enough credit," Jane told her as his fingers caressed her cheek. "I know you, Teresa… I know that you're strong and that maybe right now you don't believe that…but I know that you're going to be back to giving me a hard time soon enough."

"I don't know that I believe that," she said quietly.

"Do you know why I kept going? Why I didn't just go off and…" he stopped, he didn't want to finish that sentence. Jane didn't want her to worry about him. "I need you. I need you, Lisbon. The others need you. We're a family. We've proved that over time and time again. We're going to get through this. I'm going to help you get through it, Lisbon. If you let me."

"The only reason I held on for so long was you," Lisbon told him. "I knew you would come… You were in my dreams and I heard you one time…"

Jane smiled at her. "Couldn't forget me that time, huh?" he teased.

She shook her head. "You don't know how wonderful it was when I finally accepted that you were real."

"Let me take you home?" he asked.

Lisbon nodded and gave him a small smile.

That was enough. If that was all he got for the rest of the night, he'd be fine. He nodded and leaned in to kiss her cheek. "Your place… I don't care about the mess. I'm driving."

"Okay," she agreed.

…

**Lisbon Residence**

Jane had opted for Lisbon to go home to her own place for several reasons, the main one being that Lisbon had been assaulted, cut, and abducted from his house. Also, he couldn't help but be worried about her being exposed to the face on his bedroom wall or how it was pretty obvious that she needed to be somewhere that was her place. He didn't want her to feel trapped. She'd already voiced that that was how she'd felt with Simon.

"I really need to pick up," Lisbon said.

He just followed her slowly as she turned on lights. "Want me to help you pick up?" he asked. He hadn't thought for them to invade her place and to pick up things before they got Lisbon back. He'd mainly been concerned about her office and generally getting her back.

"No, I'm not doing it tonight," she said.

She looked around and Jane gave her space. He hung back with his hands in his pockets and tried not to stare. This was different than when they'd found her in the recovery center before…she was still Lisbon…she didn't remember everything (and especially not him at first) but her attitude was still Lisbon. Now…she was like a fragment of her. He didn't like it. But at that moment, he couldn't do anything about it but be there for her.

"Okay," he said almost inaudibly.

"You don't have to worry, Jane," she said and turned to face him.

"I just don't want to lose you again," he told her honestly. It wasn't just Red John taking her away that worried him; it was her not coming back to him. It was Lisbon not being Lisbon anymore. And if that happened, Jane would know that it was because of him. Because of the choice he made. Because he hadn't acted fast enough and hadn't found her when he should have.

Lisbon took a few steps towards him. "I hate going to shrinks…but maybe it'll be good for me," she told him.

"I'm willing to listen if you want to talk about it," Jane offered. "Just…offering…you don't have to." He didn't want to push her. Jane desperately wanted to hold her and rub her back. To feel her in his arms and to let her know that everything was okay, but at the same time he worried about scaring her. He didn't want to do that. So, he took a seat and just wanted. He waited on her to make the first move.

"Why do I think that if I do tell you that you're just going to blame yourself?" she asked as she sat down next to him.

Jane shrugged. "Probably because you're right." He couldn't help it. He held himself responsible just as he continued to hold himself responsible for the brutal and senseless deaths of his wife and daughter. "Probably because I love you."

Her head fell on his shoulder and they just sat there. "My nose isn't broken…he really didn't hurt me… I've been hurt far more before," she told him.

"Did he…?" Jane asked. She'd been made to be checked out at the hospital in Idaho, but the doctors wouldn't tell him anything. Mainly because Hightower had been there too and whenever he'd start to convince them that he was related, Hightower would burst his bubble. He would really need to work on training her in some minor way.

"No," she said as she shook her head against his shoulder. "You got there before he could do anything. I just…I couldn't let him dispose of me and leave Kaydance in who knows who's hands."

"You're a good mom," Jane said. "I could see that."

"I'm not really a mom…"

"You're a woman…and it's obvious to everyone who was there that you've been a mom to that little girl for a while. She adores you and you did nothing but look out for her through loving her, taking care of her, and protecting her," Jane told her. "One day, you're going to have kids of your own and be a fantastic mom."

"Not sure about that one," she said.

He could hear the smile in her voice and it made him smile. "Do you want me to stay?" he asked. He'd leave if she asked, though he'd probably stay in his car to make sure that she was okay. Jane really couldn't bring himself to move too far away from her.

"I'd rather you stay tonight…if you wouldn't mind," Lisbon responded. She didn't move her head. "Simon was kind to me, Jane. He's just a sad man. He lost his wife…she was pregnant at the time. He just doesn't seem to have every recovered from it. So, he was trying to recreate it."

Jane just listened. He knew he could relate to the pain that Simon Callahan had been going through, but he'd tried to move on. Perhaps before…when he'd first lost them he'd maybe have done something similar if he hadn't committed himself. He wondered then if perhaps Red John had used Mrs. Callahan as a test victim…and had been making amends for killing his wife years before. Jane hated to think that Red John actually knew the difference between right and wrong since it didn't seem like he knew it.

"I was scared, Jane. I think that's the most scared I've been in my life…" she told him. "I thought that I'd have to live there forever. I felt like I was dying inside."

He hated that she was so miserable. He supposed that it could have all been much worse. That Simon could have hurt her and raped her and when they found her they'd only have found a broken shell. But Lisbon was stronger than that. She was strong and he knew that she just needed to find her place back in their world once again. He could understand how that could be confusing and scary.

"I'm glad to be back," Lisbon told him. "Not because I'm home or because Hightower gave me back my job, but because I'm here with you."

Jane moved his arm so that it was around her, holding her close. He allowed his head to move the short distance so that his head was resting against hers on his shoulder. "I missed my best friend," he whispered to her. And he had. As much as he had thought about separating himself from the team, he found himself unable to push them all away…at least not for long. Lisbon had been there for him for years. She'd allowed his crazy antics and had tolerated him. She'd been there with him through everything. She was always there for him. "Merry Christmas, Teresa," he whispered.

"Merry Christmas, Patrick," she echoed quietly.

He didn't have a tree, he didn't have decorations, and he didn't have presents to give to her. He'd gotten presents for everyone in the team to hand out at the party except Lisbon. He didn't know what to get her. He didn't know how she'd react when they finally got to her. But this was the best gift he'd gotten. And this was honestly the best Christmas he'd had in a long time. But so far they seemed okay and he was starting to see that what she needed…what they both needed was just time. Slowly, she was starting to sound like the Lisbon he remembered. She just had to relax and remember where she was. That she was safe.

Safe.

He'd keep her safe.

He'd be there for her.

He'd try to be as un-difficult as possible.

Possible being the key word there. They still needed to do their jobs. They needed to solve cases. So, he may have to still use his unconventional ways of doing things, but he'd make sure that she had a heads up. Or at least he'd try to.

She pulled his arm so that it was tightly pulled against her. So that he was holding her snugly. He stared down at her and just smiled. This was truly the best Christmas he'd had in quite some time. They sat like that there on Lisbon's couch for a long time, listening to the rain that had begun to pour outside. It was the closest thing that they'd probably get to snow unless the temperature lowered a bit more.

"I love you," she whispered.

"I love you too."

And he did.

And he would.

He'd love her and keep her safe. Her heart, her mind, her body, and her soul.

…

The End.


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